Burned Alive by Time
I've not had a chance to sit down and write much as of lately.
Though I do have a decent ammount of shit to write about.
Where to start, let's see, my bandmate has decided that he needs to get out of portland for a undisclosed ammount of time. He's traveling up to Seattle for a few weeks, and from there he's going down to Palm Springs, and then LA for a bit.there is an upside to the situation, he'll be able to kick dope and get his shit together.
We've got 9 out of 1e songs for The Flesh and Blood Show done, I was thinking of having a small record release party in late june possibly.
I'll also be posting some tracks up for remix, once I have the time, and I'll probably remix a few myself,
Let's see, in other news I just found out that my ex Jessica is engaged, and that her man plans to go into the navy for a short period of time. It just kinda blew me away at first, to see someone I was with not to long ago already having plans to get married, it kinda made me sit down and look at things, if I'd stayed in L.A. Her and I would probably be on the same path, fuck if maddi and I were still together we'd probably be in the same boat, getting engaged and whatnot.
Speaking of the other ex, Maddi texted me out of the blue asking for a favor if I was my house. Favor being bumming a cigarette. I was quite puzzled by not only her being normal and friendly, but willingfulness to want to see me, if even to just bum a smoke, considering the last time I tried to contact her she nearly took my head off in defensive-mode. We had a very short lived conversation, she told me how she's been smoking too much and crying a lot, and how things are generally in the pooper, and I told her I knew how she felt. She then proceeded to go back into defensive mode, telling me it wouldn't be a good idea for us to be friends or see each other, totally contradicting her original text and then proceeded to tell me that if whatever it was I had to say to her a few weeks ago was still important, that to respect her wishes of not seeing/talking to her that I could email her. So I told her that I'll respect what she wants, but that what I have to say couldn't be explained in black and white text, and that when she was ready that I could tell her what I have to say in person. Like I figured, that was the last I heard from her.
I just don't understand, so many contradictions in such a short ammount of communication. Now I know maddi, I know her better than she'll ever give me credit for, and I know a cry for help when I see one. And I've come to realize she only feels comfortable talking to me when clint and her are in one of their "breakups" (aka he "broke" it off with her long enough to fuck someone else and then they reconsile, fucked up no?)
I just really wish I could get this shit off my chest and put it all out on the table and speak my peace. But by the looks of it, that's not happening anytime soon.
Last night Wendy told me she thinks that I've been pulling away from her, and she thinks that I don't love her anymore. Yeah, that took a little bit of wtf for me to even comprehend why she would ever get something like that in her head. She couldn't fully explain herself, then again we drank like two bottles of wine. Yes we haven't been able to spend as much time together lately, and we're both adjusting to our new schedules, and working at different stores has been a big change, but for her to build it up in her head that I don't love her anymore is a bucket of crazy sauce.
On another note, I transfered from the Happy Valley New Seasons to the Sellwood store, and I fucking love it here. Everyone is super nice and way chill, there's sooo much work to be done, there's always something to do. People don't have time to stand around and find things to complain about, deli clerks are actually good at their jobs, its just mind blowing. Going from the biggest store to the smallest has been quite the change, but its good change. I love what I do, I love the company I work for, and I love that it takes me less than an hour to get to work.
As for my general health, my exima has been super bad this week, my hands have been cracking and bleeding, but Ikve only had one cigarette in the past 24 hours, and I drank less than a bottle of wine before totally assing out last night. Though now that I'm busy all day at work, I don't eat as much as I use to/should be, but there isn't a whole lot I can do about that except try and snack more durring my breaks, and make said snacks more healthy. IM TRYING I SWEAR!
So all in all yeah shit sucks, but what am I gonna do? Survive.
Though I do have a decent ammount of shit to write about.
Where to start, let's see, my bandmate has decided that he needs to get out of portland for a undisclosed ammount of time. He's traveling up to Seattle for a few weeks, and from there he's going down to Palm Springs, and then LA for a bit.there is an upside to the situation, he'll be able to kick dope and get his shit together.
We've got 9 out of 1e songs for The Flesh and Blood Show done, I was thinking of having a small record release party in late june possibly.
I'll also be posting some tracks up for remix, once I have the time, and I'll probably remix a few myself,
Let's see, in other news I just found out that my ex Jessica is engaged, and that her man plans to go into the navy for a short period of time. It just kinda blew me away at first, to see someone I was with not to long ago already having plans to get married, it kinda made me sit down and look at things, if I'd stayed in L.A. Her and I would probably be on the same path, fuck if maddi and I were still together we'd probably be in the same boat, getting engaged and whatnot.
Speaking of the other ex, Maddi texted me out of the blue asking for a favor if I was my house. Favor being bumming a cigarette. I was quite puzzled by not only her being normal and friendly, but willingfulness to want to see me, if even to just bum a smoke, considering the last time I tried to contact her she nearly took my head off in defensive-mode. We had a very short lived conversation, she told me how she's been smoking too much and crying a lot, and how things are generally in the pooper, and I told her I knew how she felt. She then proceeded to go back into defensive mode, telling me it wouldn't be a good idea for us to be friends or see each other, totally contradicting her original text and then proceeded to tell me that if whatever it was I had to say to her a few weeks ago was still important, that to respect her wishes of not seeing/talking to her that I could email her. So I told her that I'll respect what she wants, but that what I have to say couldn't be explained in black and white text, and that when she was ready that I could tell her what I have to say in person. Like I figured, that was the last I heard from her.
I just don't understand, so many contradictions in such a short ammount of communication. Now I know maddi, I know her better than she'll ever give me credit for, and I know a cry for help when I see one. And I've come to realize she only feels comfortable talking to me when clint and her are in one of their "breakups" (aka he "broke" it off with her long enough to fuck someone else and then they reconsile, fucked up no?)
I just really wish I could get this shit off my chest and put it all out on the table and speak my peace. But by the looks of it, that's not happening anytime soon.
Last night Wendy told me she thinks that I've been pulling away from her, and she thinks that I don't love her anymore. Yeah, that took a little bit of wtf for me to even comprehend why she would ever get something like that in her head. She couldn't fully explain herself, then again we drank like two bottles of wine. Yes we haven't been able to spend as much time together lately, and we're both adjusting to our new schedules, and working at different stores has been a big change, but for her to build it up in her head that I don't love her anymore is a bucket of crazy sauce.
On another note, I transfered from the Happy Valley New Seasons to the Sellwood store, and I fucking love it here. Everyone is super nice and way chill, there's sooo much work to be done, there's always something to do. People don't have time to stand around and find things to complain about, deli clerks are actually good at their jobs, its just mind blowing. Going from the biggest store to the smallest has been quite the change, but its good change. I love what I do, I love the company I work for, and I love that it takes me less than an hour to get to work.
As for my general health, my exima has been super bad this week, my hands have been cracking and bleeding, but Ikve only had one cigarette in the past 24 hours, and I drank less than a bottle of wine before totally assing out last night. Though now that I'm busy all day at work, I don't eat as much as I use to/should be, but there isn't a whole lot I can do about that except try and snack more durring my breaks, and make said snacks more healthy. IM TRYING I SWEAR!
So all in all yeah shit sucks, but what am I gonna do? Survive.