Avast! There be treasure.
Treasure? What are we, pirates?
It was Mardi Gras! I'm dressed as Jean Lafitte. Never mind that whole slave trading thing, he was otherwise pretty fucking sweet.
Plus, it's a perfect opportunity to sing the Battle of New Orleans. You know how it goes, right?
In 1814 we took a little trip
Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip.
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans
And we caught the bloody British in the town of New Orleans.
We fired our guns and the British kept a'comin.
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin' on
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
We looked down the river and we see'd the British come.
And there must have been a hundred of'em beatin' on the drum.
They stepped so high and they made the bugles ring.
We stood by our cotton bales and didn't say a thing.
Old Hickory said we could take 'em by surprise
If we didn't fire our muskets 'til we looked 'em in the eye
We held our fire 'til we see'd their faces well.
Then we opened up with squirrel guns and really gave 'em HELL!
Yeah, they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go.
They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
We fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down.
So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round.
We filled his head with cannon balls, and powdered his behind
And when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind.
You've just GOT to love a song that includes gator cannons. But I digress like a digressionary thing. The point is that when I was all dressed up as that gentleman pirate, threading through the throngs of our fair city-- there I met a pirate wench. And we celebrated Fat Tuesday together, and on Ash Wednesday, well. We found ourselves with ashes on our foreheads, and her getting in a cab to back to her dick of boyfriend and me getting in a cab to go back my... well, to my apartment alone because my sort-of-kinda girlfriend was busy with her own life.
As fate would have it, I ran into Annie again when were both less piratical several months later and I had a party I was throwing. I gave her a flier, an invitation - come on by and drop in and party with us. Or just come on by. Any time. You know, I live there. You can find me there.
She didn't come to the party. Alas. I thought maybe okay, it was just one of those things.
But then one day I came on home and there she was on my doorstep. With all her things. She needed a place to stay. She's been here ever since.
Having her around, having met her like I did... yeah, call me a sentimental bastard but what the hell I was dressed like a pirate? So arr, I found me some treasure. And here she be:
It was Mardi Gras! I'm dressed as Jean Lafitte. Never mind that whole slave trading thing, he was otherwise pretty fucking sweet.
Plus, it's a perfect opportunity to sing the Battle of New Orleans. You know how it goes, right?
In 1814 we took a little trip
Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip.
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans
And we caught the bloody British in the town of New Orleans.
We fired our guns and the British kept a'comin.
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin' on
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
We looked down the river and we see'd the British come.
And there must have been a hundred of'em beatin' on the drum.
They stepped so high and they made the bugles ring.
We stood by our cotton bales and didn't say a thing.
Old Hickory said we could take 'em by surprise
If we didn't fire our muskets 'til we looked 'em in the eye
We held our fire 'til we see'd their faces well.
Then we opened up with squirrel guns and really gave 'em HELL!
Yeah, they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go.
They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
We fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down.
So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round.
We filled his head with cannon balls, and powdered his behind
And when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind.
You've just GOT to love a song that includes gator cannons. But I digress like a digressionary thing. The point is that when I was all dressed up as that gentleman pirate, threading through the throngs of our fair city-- there I met a pirate wench. And we celebrated Fat Tuesday together, and on Ash Wednesday, well. We found ourselves with ashes on our foreheads, and her getting in a cab to back to her dick of boyfriend and me getting in a cab to go back my... well, to my apartment alone because my sort-of-kinda girlfriend was busy with her own life.
As fate would have it, I ran into Annie again when were both less piratical several months later and I had a party I was throwing. I gave her a flier, an invitation - come on by and drop in and party with us. Or just come on by. Any time. You know, I live there. You can find me there.
She didn't come to the party. Alas. I thought maybe okay, it was just one of those things.
But then one day I came on home and there she was on my doorstep. With all her things. She needed a place to stay. She's been here ever since.
Having her around, having met her like I did... yeah, call me a sentimental bastard but what the hell I was dressed like a pirate? So arr, I found me some treasure. And here she be: