of all the dumbest..........
Okay, I have got to be one of the dumbest shits ever. one of my dearest friends, I almost drove to hurt herself, and for that I have been beating myself. I want you all to know that I'm perfectly fine. I may just find a few bruises later. nothing serious at all.
I want to apologise, since the people usually read in here, and if they do, they will know who they are. I'm so sorry for being a burden. and, miss, as I promised you this morning, this is not a goodbye and suicide letter, but rather an apology for being such a fool.
Perhaps I was right,and I'm not needed anymore. but I don't want to hurt the people I care about more than I already have. I say so many things that I regret. I did so many things wrong in my life, that I wish I could take back...... perhaps I've been right all along. all I ever seem to leave behind me is pain and heartbreak... perhaps I should make one final tinge of pain for the world, and finish things for good...... but I cannot, since I promised someone dear to me.
As long as I have control over my own soul, as long as the demon inside me does not take control, I shall remain alive. a contract signed so long ago in blood....... it's odd how my memory seems to be changing. I can't remember anything specifically, and I dont know if its just a dream... but I've been having a vision of a young boy crying, a few grazes and cuts on him..... and a voice from the shadows he hides in.... a contract signed with blood... a contract that cannot be seen.....
a guardian demon, protecting but also attacking. nudging away at the back of a feeble mind. a mind so weak that the beast cannot be held back.
I have now accepted the fact that someday he is going to break through. but I would rather kill myself before I let those I care about have to face that horror.
To those I promised, I shall hold on as much as I can.
Signed, with bruises.
Andrew.
I want to apologise, since the people usually read in here, and if they do, they will know who they are. I'm so sorry for being a burden. and, miss, as I promised you this morning, this is not a goodbye and suicide letter, but rather an apology for being such a fool.
Perhaps I was right,and I'm not needed anymore. but I don't want to hurt the people I care about more than I already have. I say so many things that I regret. I did so many things wrong in my life, that I wish I could take back...... perhaps I've been right all along. all I ever seem to leave behind me is pain and heartbreak... perhaps I should make one final tinge of pain for the world, and finish things for good...... but I cannot, since I promised someone dear to me.
As long as I have control over my own soul, as long as the demon inside me does not take control, I shall remain alive. a contract signed so long ago in blood....... it's odd how my memory seems to be changing. I can't remember anything specifically, and I dont know if its just a dream... but I've been having a vision of a young boy crying, a few grazes and cuts on him..... and a voice from the shadows he hides in.... a contract signed with blood... a contract that cannot be seen.....
a guardian demon, protecting but also attacking. nudging away at the back of a feeble mind. a mind so weak that the beast cannot be held back.
I have now accepted the fact that someday he is going to break through. but I would rather kill myself before I let those I care about have to face that horror.
To those I promised, I shall hold on as much as I can.
Signed, with bruises.
Andrew.