How can you smile with all those tears in your eyes?
How can you smile
With all those tears in your eyes?
Tell me everything is wonderful now.
Thats a line from the song "wonderful" and it is so true. I could be crying til blood poured from my eyes, yet still be smiling. Why? because I don't want people to really see how much I truly hurt inside. I know, by writing this, I am telling everyone... maybe its easier for me to write and draw things out than to say them in person.
And the memory now,
Is like the picture was then
When the paper's crumpled up
It can't be perfect again.
Thats "forgotten" from Linkin Park. and its so true. once something has been damaged, it can never be the way it was before. That is why I once said to one of my dear friends, that I didnt know if I could date them... Because our friendship was so perfect, I didnt want to ruin things by getting into a relationship, when in the end, if we broke up, things would never be the same......
There are so many pains in this world..... If my death could take the pain and suffering from this torn world, I would take my life without hesitation... if I could take the tears from my friends' faces....... I would gladly take my life here and now. Even as tears well in my eyes as I write this, I hate seeing the people I love and hold dear to me in pain.
I would go to hell and rip out Satan's heart if I could... believe me, I would... Im so tired of the suffering in this world. it makes me sick when I think of how I may have hurt people. so sick to my stomach.... wounds such as these never heal.... they linger and rot me from the inside out.
This is not a suicide not, but rather a culmination of feelings I have kept locked up for too long. I am sorry to anyone I have hurt in the past, present, and an apology to any that may be harmed in the future. If I never get another chance to apologise, let this be a testament to my life, how pitiful it was, and how sorry I am to have troubled anyone.... I do not know if anyone would ever mourn my death... I have accepted that fact.... I am just afraid, that if I die in this place, that those I care about the most, those in the states, would never know. Of that I am most terrified.......
Im sorry I wrote such a long rant.
With all those tears in your eyes?
Tell me everything is wonderful now.
Thats a line from the song "wonderful" and it is so true. I could be crying til blood poured from my eyes, yet still be smiling. Why? because I don't want people to really see how much I truly hurt inside. I know, by writing this, I am telling everyone... maybe its easier for me to write and draw things out than to say them in person.
And the memory now,
Is like the picture was then
When the paper's crumpled up
It can't be perfect again.
Thats "forgotten" from Linkin Park. and its so true. once something has been damaged, it can never be the way it was before. That is why I once said to one of my dear friends, that I didnt know if I could date them... Because our friendship was so perfect, I didnt want to ruin things by getting into a relationship, when in the end, if we broke up, things would never be the same......
There are so many pains in this world..... If my death could take the pain and suffering from this torn world, I would take my life without hesitation... if I could take the tears from my friends' faces....... I would gladly take my life here and now. Even as tears well in my eyes as I write this, I hate seeing the people I love and hold dear to me in pain.
I would go to hell and rip out Satan's heart if I could... believe me, I would... Im so tired of the suffering in this world. it makes me sick when I think of how I may have hurt people. so sick to my stomach.... wounds such as these never heal.... they linger and rot me from the inside out.
This is not a suicide not, but rather a culmination of feelings I have kept locked up for too long. I am sorry to anyone I have hurt in the past, present, and an apology to any that may be harmed in the future. If I never get another chance to apologise, let this be a testament to my life, how pitiful it was, and how sorry I am to have troubled anyone.... I do not know if anyone would ever mourn my death... I have accepted that fact.... I am just afraid, that if I die in this place, that those I care about the most, those in the states, would never know. Of that I am most terrified.......
Im sorry I wrote such a long rant.