London's burnin !!!
Oh goodness I have started listening to The Clash again and it is wonderful. I've been wired all day because of it. It feels great.
I've been reading this book Street Boys , which I think I said already... anyway its extremely sad and I've been reading it all day at school so I've almost cried like 10 times. But, suprisingly, that's the only thing that has made me sad...I have only stayed sad today while reading the book, a shocker.
Something bad is happening that I don't want to happen. Today I sat by myself at lunch (which was ok) and I read that book...so I was sad after lunch because one of the boys in the book died. I remembered that Ryan has Drivers Ed for 5th hour and that he walks across the courtyard because I used to see him and talk to him...and then I started looking for him because I knew he would make me happy...everytime I feel sad and I'm leaving a class, I look for Ryan. UGH it was like that even when I didn't "like" him anymore. oh why why why whyyyy this can't happen again!!! It was so bad before. Why did he have to start talking to me again all the sudden?!?! It was totally out of the blue. We even communicate across the class now. We haven't done that since like last semester. And I saw him looking at me today in class. Like definatly was. I have no idea why he does this. He doesn't like me, I know that for a fact...I don't really care because I'm trying not to like him. Even though I called him 30 minutes ago. AHHHH I'm overwhelmed !! this is stupid. I wish I could make this stop. But thats like trying to prevent yourself from falling (which, metaphorically, I am, for him..again)...if you do that you just end up getting hurt in the end anyway. You could either just scrape your hands a little, or you could get hurt worse than that. Its just chance. Whoa! I never knew I could make metaphors like that. Mrs. Bourgeois would be proud. Except its really fruity. I'm going to read and be sad and end up thinking about a stupid dago boy.
I've been reading this book Street Boys , which I think I said already... anyway its extremely sad and I've been reading it all day at school so I've almost cried like 10 times. But, suprisingly, that's the only thing that has made me sad...I have only stayed sad today while reading the book, a shocker.
Something bad is happening that I don't want to happen. Today I sat by myself at lunch (which was ok) and I read that book...so I was sad after lunch because one of the boys in the book died. I remembered that Ryan has Drivers Ed for 5th hour and that he walks across the courtyard because I used to see him and talk to him...and then I started looking for him because I knew he would make me happy...everytime I feel sad and I'm leaving a class, I look for Ryan. UGH it was like that even when I didn't "like" him anymore. oh why why why whyyyy this can't happen again!!! It was so bad before. Why did he have to start talking to me again all the sudden?!?! It was totally out of the blue. We even communicate across the class now. We haven't done that since like last semester. And I saw him looking at me today in class. Like definatly was. I have no idea why he does this. He doesn't like me, I know that for a fact...I don't really care because I'm trying not to like him. Even though I called him 30 minutes ago. AHHHH I'm overwhelmed !! this is stupid. I wish I could make this stop. But thats like trying to prevent yourself from falling (which, metaphorically, I am, for him..again)...if you do that you just end up getting hurt in the end anyway. You could either just scrape your hands a little, or you could get hurt worse than that. Its just chance. Whoa! I never knew I could make metaphors like that. Mrs. Bourgeois would be proud. Except its really fruity. I'm going to read and be sad and end up thinking about a stupid dago boy.