Amazing
So, my life is incredible. I started to get worried bc I had this terrible week of being depressed and anxious, but I got through it. I was thinking about therapy, not because I wanted to go, but bc before that's what was being forced down my throat. Idk what caused it, but I'm glad it's over. I feel so amazing. I have never felt so good in my life. I am me, I'm happy with all of my little flaws. I don't mind not being smaller or that sometimes I get an occasional blemish. I DON'T have to be perfect. In fact, I don't want to be perfect. I can't wait to get my tat. It's gonna be on my left forearm and it's gonna say, "A beautiful thing is never perfect" I love that quote. Before, I always believed that in order to be beautiful, I had to be perfect. Not true.
My girl is so, I don't even have a word for her. She's everything I've ever wanted but never thought I deserved. I love just sitting next to her. We are the best couple. I know I'm biased but srsly she completes me. I love coming home to her after a long night at work. I climb into bed and wrap my arms around her. It's so peaceful. She breathes slowly, deep in sleep with no worries. And in that moment, I know everything in my life is how it should be. I rest my head on her shoulder, stroke her cheek ever so gently. Then I always whisper that I love her. I have a routine now, if I don't tell her I love her before I go to sleep things just don't feel right. Sometimes I wonder if she hears me. I've caught her smiling a few times after I tell her in her ear. That can't just be a coincidence.
We've been talking about the future more lately. The other day, I was telling her about how my sister and her hubby have been together for 14 years. And I was telling her about how they still write sweet little notes on each others FB walls and stuff like that. And then she turns to me and says, "That's gonna be us. We're going to be just like that too." I can't even describe how that made me feel. It makes my tummy fill with butterflies every time she says something like that. We've also been talking about getting married. She wants to take my last name. Fucking sweet, I mean, idk, I'd be proud to give her my name. I always just assumed I would take her last name. Mrs. Tiffany Robitzsch. :-D so beautiful when I say it aloud. There isn't a thing in the world that makes me happier than she does. Kids. I know I worry her talking about kids so much, but that's just a huge part of me. I love babies and I can't wait to have them. I don't want to scare her though. I don't want them any time soon. I want to have a better job, one where I don't work nights. I want to have a better car. This is going to take years. I also want to marry her, and have our own separate life for a while.
Family life is good. I feel like things between my mom and I are getting closer to being like they used to be before I came out to her. I don't constantly feel guilty for being who I am anymore. I love Tiffany, and I can tell my family does too. They all hated Angel. I get angry thinking about how I wasted so much time on her sometimes. We were never meant to be. My feelings for her never came close to the intense feelings I have for Tiff. TIff is who I was always meant to find. We were made for each other. Hold on...Judas video just came on...brb
Ok lol, sorry I got distracted by the hotness. Now where was I, oh yeah my gorgeous incredibly amazing girlfriend. She just left for work like an hour ago. I hate telling her goodbye. I give her like a million kisses lol. Every time she walks out the door I instantly start missing her. She is so much fun to be around. I love spending time with her. We watch movies and snuggle. Last night she was so adorable. She started falling asleep and I was like, I'm going to get up and watch TV and she said, "you have to snuggle me first." So precious. I love her so fucking much. That girl, gah, I just am so lucky. I can't believe it. She has been super affectionate lately, it's nice. I think she finally let Sonia go. That poem she wrote was her way of "killing" Sonia and the hold she had on her life. I want to hate Sonia, but I can't. I can understand still caring about someone. I know how that feels. Not saying I still care about Angel, because I don't, but I do sometimes catch myself recalling a memory of she and I. It happens, and it's brief. I have no feelings attached to the memory, it usually just happens if I see something that she likes or if I go somewhere that she and I once went to together. She was so wrong for me and it feels so amazing to find who I was meant to be with all along. Everything happens for a reason and I'm glad that I went through all of that shit to finally end up with my soul mate. I love Tiff. More than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life. I can't wait to make her my wife.
I mean srsly, look how fucking hot she is. Damn that girl takes my breath away.
My girl is so, I don't even have a word for her. She's everything I've ever wanted but never thought I deserved. I love just sitting next to her. We are the best couple. I know I'm biased but srsly she completes me. I love coming home to her after a long night at work. I climb into bed and wrap my arms around her. It's so peaceful. She breathes slowly, deep in sleep with no worries. And in that moment, I know everything in my life is how it should be. I rest my head on her shoulder, stroke her cheek ever so gently. Then I always whisper that I love her. I have a routine now, if I don't tell her I love her before I go to sleep things just don't feel right. Sometimes I wonder if she hears me. I've caught her smiling a few times after I tell her in her ear. That can't just be a coincidence.
We've been talking about the future more lately. The other day, I was telling her about how my sister and her hubby have been together for 14 years. And I was telling her about how they still write sweet little notes on each others FB walls and stuff like that. And then she turns to me and says, "That's gonna be us. We're going to be just like that too." I can't even describe how that made me feel. It makes my tummy fill with butterflies every time she says something like that. We've also been talking about getting married. She wants to take my last name. Fucking sweet, I mean, idk, I'd be proud to give her my name. I always just assumed I would take her last name. Mrs. Tiffany Robitzsch. :-D so beautiful when I say it aloud. There isn't a thing in the world that makes me happier than she does. Kids. I know I worry her talking about kids so much, but that's just a huge part of me. I love babies and I can't wait to have them. I don't want to scare her though. I don't want them any time soon. I want to have a better job, one where I don't work nights. I want to have a better car. This is going to take years. I also want to marry her, and have our own separate life for a while.
Family life is good. I feel like things between my mom and I are getting closer to being like they used to be before I came out to her. I don't constantly feel guilty for being who I am anymore. I love Tiffany, and I can tell my family does too. They all hated Angel. I get angry thinking about how I wasted so much time on her sometimes. We were never meant to be. My feelings for her never came close to the intense feelings I have for Tiff. TIff is who I was always meant to find. We were made for each other. Hold on...Judas video just came on...brb
Ok lol, sorry I got distracted by the hotness. Now where was I, oh yeah my gorgeous incredibly amazing girlfriend. She just left for work like an hour ago. I hate telling her goodbye. I give her like a million kisses lol. Every time she walks out the door I instantly start missing her. She is so much fun to be around. I love spending time with her. We watch movies and snuggle. Last night she was so adorable. She started falling asleep and I was like, I'm going to get up and watch TV and she said, "you have to snuggle me first." So precious. I love her so fucking much. That girl, gah, I just am so lucky. I can't believe it. She has been super affectionate lately, it's nice. I think she finally let Sonia go. That poem she wrote was her way of "killing" Sonia and the hold she had on her life. I want to hate Sonia, but I can't. I can understand still caring about someone. I know how that feels. Not saying I still care about Angel, because I don't, but I do sometimes catch myself recalling a memory of she and I. It happens, and it's brief. I have no feelings attached to the memory, it usually just happens if I see something that she likes or if I go somewhere that she and I once went to together. She was so wrong for me and it feels so amazing to find who I was meant to be with all along. Everything happens for a reason and I'm glad that I went through all of that shit to finally end up with my soul mate. I love Tiff. More than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life. I can't wait to make her my wife.
I mean srsly, look how fucking hot she is. Damn that girl takes my breath away.