(no subject)
This was my response to a guy's blog where he complained that nice girls never date nice guys....
Here's some not entirely unsolicited advice from an anonymous blog reader. Speaking as a "nice girl," I'll have to admit that my biggest detraction from being attracted to and dating nice guys is confidence (which in your post you referred to as “domination.”) While I’ll admit that most girls are looking for a guy that knows and is not afraid to speak his own mind that doesn’t necessarily mean we want “domination.” In this modern age, most girls are looking for a partnership with an equal give and take. Nice guys have a habit of exclusively catering to their partner’s opinions and wishes, to such a degree that it becomes a fatal catharsis in a developing relationship. We don’t want our opinions and wishes parroted back to us, the reason we’re interested in you is because you’re different from us. Namely we’re looking for a guy who is confident in his ability to state his mind, and readily offer up his own opinions (although they may differ from our own).
Confidence also take another turn when applied to attraction. It’s hard to be attracted to person who innately believes they are unattractive and in some cases may seek constant reassurance. Attitude makes a big difference, Believing in yourself transfers over to body language and speech. Looks become almost irrelevant when a girl is faced with a self-confident man in speech, posture, and dress.
Thirdly, confidence is a key factor in beginning relationships. All girls want to be pursued. Unless done in an inappropriate manner (which is usually not the case with nice guys anyway) we will inevitably be flattered by your interest and in most cases will respond positively even if we don’t share your interest. The problem with nice guys is that because they are lacking in self-confidence they often do not pursue girls, or they pursue them in such a circumspect way that their intentions are obscured. Letting us know that you’re interested is the first step to opening our eyes to factoring you into our relationship radar and noticing what a nice guy you are.
Some nice girls may date jerks, but I assure that the relationship will ware thin. In the end we are looking for guys like you. There are too many moral and spiritual issues that must be reconciled for us to pursue a serious relationship with sleazy guy. We may date jerks now, but I assure that we’ll be marrying the nice guy.
Now to get off my soap box. I hope that was insightful in some way.
Here's some not entirely unsolicited advice from an anonymous blog reader. Speaking as a "nice girl," I'll have to admit that my biggest detraction from being attracted to and dating nice guys is confidence (which in your post you referred to as “domination.”) While I’ll admit that most girls are looking for a guy that knows and is not afraid to speak his own mind that doesn’t necessarily mean we want “domination.” In this modern age, most girls are looking for a partnership with an equal give and take. Nice guys have a habit of exclusively catering to their partner’s opinions and wishes, to such a degree that it becomes a fatal catharsis in a developing relationship. We don’t want our opinions and wishes parroted back to us, the reason we’re interested in you is because you’re different from us. Namely we’re looking for a guy who is confident in his ability to state his mind, and readily offer up his own opinions (although they may differ from our own).
Confidence also take another turn when applied to attraction. It’s hard to be attracted to person who innately believes they are unattractive and in some cases may seek constant reassurance. Attitude makes a big difference, Believing in yourself transfers over to body language and speech. Looks become almost irrelevant when a girl is faced with a self-confident man in speech, posture, and dress.
Thirdly, confidence is a key factor in beginning relationships. All girls want to be pursued. Unless done in an inappropriate manner (which is usually not the case with nice guys anyway) we will inevitably be flattered by your interest and in most cases will respond positively even if we don’t share your interest. The problem with nice guys is that because they are lacking in self-confidence they often do not pursue girls, or they pursue them in such a circumspect way that their intentions are obscured. Letting us know that you’re interested is the first step to opening our eyes to factoring you into our relationship radar and noticing what a nice guy you are.
Some nice girls may date jerks, but I assure that the relationship will ware thin. In the end we are looking for guys like you. There are too many moral and spiritual issues that must be reconciled for us to pursue a serious relationship with sleazy guy. We may date jerks now, but I assure that we’ll be marrying the nice guy.
Now to get off my soap box. I hope that was insightful in some way.