Application; Benton Fraser, Due South

[sings_too]

There had been times in his recent past, rather more than a few, in fact, during which Benton Fraser had wondered if perhaps he might be a couple beams short of a bunkhouse. But recently he had come to believe that he was still in possession of his faculties, and more or less in the correct order. Facing his mother's killer at the bottom of an

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[shake_bad_guys]

What happens next is he gets an armful of Ray.

It wasn't that Ray couldn't handle himself without Fraser. Because he could! And random blonde chicks insisting he was an evil alien robot and trying to kill him, that was all in a day's work. And he hadn't been freaked out at all by having a sudden English accent and having to fight pirates, or people talking about opening mysterious doors that might destroy the world or something, he wasn't sure what. Because he was just that cool, Steve McQueen cool, and he could deal with anything the freaks around here threw at him.

But, you know, he'd kind of been worrying about how Fraser was doing without him. So the second he heard that nice, rounded, prissy Canadian voice on the PA, he scooped up Fraser's Stetson and headed for the gates to greet his partner with a hug.

"Fraser. Buddy." He pulled away to smile in Fraser's face. "You trying to write some kinda essay on quests?"

[sings_too]

Benton is rather stiff in his embrace.

"Ray?" he asked. "Wh- what is going on? You're not... dead are you?"

[shake_bad_guys]

When wasn't Fraser stiff?

"Dead? Freak," he said dismissively, and grabbed Fraser's hand to put it on his neck's steady pulse.

"'Bout time you got here. I got your hat," he added, offering it.

[sings_too]

Well, getting his hat back helped.

Benton accepted the hat and brushed one hand over the brim before setting it on his head. He was smiling a little.

"Thank you, Ray," he said, and looked around again with a slightly more decisive gaze. "Well, if we aren't dead, and this isn't the boarderland... where are we?"

[shake_bad_guys]

"Like I should know. Nobody here knows, Fraser," said Ray. "It looks like Disneyland - in California? - but it is not. There's a bunch of weird rules and things don't work like they should. And there's a bunch of people here from different places. Some of them are completely goddamn nuts and might try to kill you. But," confidently, "M'getting the hang of it."

[sings_too]

That was... singularly unhelpful. Benton nodded once.

"Ah. I see. Well, I shall defer to your expertise then. And the... cartoons?"

At this point Dief gave up on the Cat and trotted over to begin enthusiastically licking Ray's left hand.

[shake_bad_guys]

"Hey, furface," Ray said happily. "Enough with the licking." He stooped to scritch behind Dief's ears and told him, "There's a lady dog-wolf somewhere around here. Only, she belongs to the chick who tried to shoot me so you might wanna watch out."

Looking back up at Fraser, "I don't know about the cartoons. I guess people think Mickey's in charge? But there is a lot of weirdness here."

[sings_too]

Benton's eyebrows rise.

"Why did she try to shoot you?"

[shake_bad_guys]

"What, like it's my fault?" Ray may or may not have been feigning offense. At least this tack kept him from having to say 'I don't know' again. "I never seen her before in my life. Her dog comes up to me, I'm saying hi, and I look up and there's this girl pointing a gun at me and saying crazy stuff about toasters and drowning me in a bucket."

"I try to talk her down," and Fraser and he both knew about how good Ray was at that kind of thing, but he'd tried, "identify myself, she keeps yelling. I go for cover, bang bang bang."

[sings_too]

"Well, Ray, I would say that sounds strange, but actually things like that do seem to happen to you fairly frequently. I'm sure there is a logical explanation for what happened."

"I'm glad to see you're alright," he added, after just enough of a pause to make it slightly awkward. "How long have you been in this place?"

[shake_bad_guys]

"Don't know. Two, three, four days? Something like that." Ray scowled at his friend. "She held a gun - my gun! - to my head and pulled the trigger, Fraser! That is not logical! And everyone here acts like I should go 'hey, no harm no foul' just 'cause she was persecuted by evil alien robots."

[sings_too]

"Evil alien robots?" Fraser questions, but it's clear he's only half listening as he peers at Ray's forehead. "That does sound unusual. Why would she threaten you because of alien robots?" He put two fingers against Ray's forehead, methodically following the curve of his skull.

[shake_bad_guys]

"'Cause she thought I was one. Something like that. I figure, hey, she's schitzo, but everybody around here believes her. Not that I'm a robot, but - "

Belatedly, he took notice of his partner's examination, and batted irritably at Fraser's hands. "What're you - ?"

[sings_too]

"You just told me you were shot in the head, Ray," Benton protested as his hands were swatted.

[shake_bad_guys]

Ray let his hands drop, the better to give his partner a Look. Smartest guy he ever met, but man could he be dumb. "Fraser," he said. "Do I look like I been shot in the head? I said she pulled the trigger. I did not say a bullet came out of the gun and blew my brains out."