Application for HC-IIIX, aka Tres Iqus (codename Gunslinger)
An average-sized man with reddish brown hair and dark eyes is at the gate. Only three things might leap to the attention of any onlookers, and that is the priest's outfit he wears, the guns that he's carrying, and the fact that while looking rather lost and out of place the man does not in fact appear surprised or confused by his surroundings in any way. He is sizing them up, though, and appears to quickly take everything in, including the rather strange welcoming committee.
Mickey coughs theatrically. "What is your name?"
The man seems unmoved by the theatrical cough, looking at the giant cartoon mouse seriously, not registering the slightest surprise. "I am Tres Iqus.* I am an Enforcement Officer of the AX Division. State your name and title." His voice is strange. Not robotic, not quite, but certainly devoid of any sort of recognizable emotion, even and professional.
"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.
It doesn't seem inclined to pick up emotion any time soon, either. "To carry out the orders given by the AX Division of the Vatican. Further, to protect Duchess Caterina and eliminate any possible threats. Name and title."
"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"
"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to
give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"
"I do not have 'wishes.'" After this dismissive statement, somehow said in a way that made it a simple statement with no inherent 'dismissive' tone, Tres moved right on to the next bit of this inquisition. "In an event such as the one described, I would say 'Three wishes are your limit. Any further requests will be denied, and your complaints will be noted.'" His tone during his hypothetical stint as a genie did not change. He probably would say exactly that, under the circumstances.
Mickey looks rather nonplussed at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"
"Question is irrelevent. I do not require food."
The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"
Tres was, as could probably be predicted at this point, unmoved. "Repeat: I do not require food. I am a machine."
... And, well, that explained a lot.
"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"
"Further information requested. Depending on the temperature of the robot, either robots and vampires or vampires and bears, while in hibernation, would be the lowest in body temperature. Fairies do not exist, while pirates and ninjas fall under the category of human, though some aspects of their lives may provide them with occasionally lower body temperature." As well as completely deadpan, the Tres robot seemed to be painfully literal as well. Also, not thoroughly programmed with 'slang' in his internal database (though if necessary and requested he could look it up, after all; he had a personal Internet connection that some people might really die for).
"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"
"Negative." The mouse had not asked about firearms; he felt no need to elaborate. He certainly wasn't being difficult and withholding information because they had not answered his question about their names. That wasn't in his programming, after all.
*"Tres Iqus," for all the smart people in the know, is actually more of a number than a name. His true "name," HC-IIIX, means he is the third model of the only ten Homo Caedelius androids ever produced; "Tres Iqus" translates directly as "three, ten."
((Tres is from the series Trinity Blood, and is a Vatican android who, like all agents, is skilled at subduing and eradicating rogue vampires and threats to "Terrans" (humans) and the church. He'll have fun in Disney. XD;))
Mickey coughs theatrically. "What is your name?"
The man seems unmoved by the theatrical cough, looking at the giant cartoon mouse seriously, not registering the slightest surprise. "I am Tres Iqus.* I am an Enforcement Officer of the AX Division. State your name and title." His voice is strange. Not robotic, not quite, but certainly devoid of any sort of recognizable emotion, even and professional.
"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.
It doesn't seem inclined to pick up emotion any time soon, either. "To carry out the orders given by the AX Division of the Vatican. Further, to protect Duchess Caterina and eliminate any possible threats. Name and title."
"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"
"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to
give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"
"I do not have 'wishes.'" After this dismissive statement, somehow said in a way that made it a simple statement with no inherent 'dismissive' tone, Tres moved right on to the next bit of this inquisition. "In an event such as the one described, I would say 'Three wishes are your limit. Any further requests will be denied, and your complaints will be noted.'" His tone during his hypothetical stint as a genie did not change. He probably would say exactly that, under the circumstances.
Mickey looks rather nonplussed at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"
"Question is irrelevent. I do not require food."
The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"
Tres was, as could probably be predicted at this point, unmoved. "Repeat: I do not require food. I am a machine."
... And, well, that explained a lot.
"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"
"Further information requested. Depending on the temperature of the robot, either robots and vampires or vampires and bears, while in hibernation, would be the lowest in body temperature. Fairies do not exist, while pirates and ninjas fall under the category of human, though some aspects of their lives may provide them with occasionally lower body temperature." As well as completely deadpan, the Tres robot seemed to be painfully literal as well. Also, not thoroughly programmed with 'slang' in his internal database (though if necessary and requested he could look it up, after all; he had a personal Internet connection that some people might really die for).
"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"
"Negative." The mouse had not asked about firearms; he felt no need to elaborate. He certainly wasn't being difficult and withholding information because they had not answered his question about their names. That wasn't in his programming, after all.
*"Tres Iqus," for all the smart people in the know, is actually more of a number than a name. His true "name," HC-IIIX, means he is the third model of the only ten Homo Caedelius androids ever produced; "Tres Iqus" translates directly as "three, ten."
((Tres is from the series Trinity Blood, and is a Vatican android who, like all agents, is skilled at subduing and eradicating rogue vampires and threats to "Terrans" (humans) and the church. He'll have fun in Disney. XD;))