last night
last night i lost everything i knew. Me and darrin broke up. I will always love him. he was my first for everything. i really wish i could still be with him but i just know it will not work out. our dreams are way too different. we always fight. i feel as if i was just his backbone to support him and thats it. he didnt care about being loved he just wanted me there to say he had a gf. i could never be right and when he asked for my opinion it was never good enough. when i disagreed with a party and asked him not to go it turned into a huge fight. that was my turning point. i realized i would never be good enough for him. I was stopping him from doing what he cared about and thats not fair to him. i dont agree with partying and ill always feel that way. but anyways. im working at subway now. just for some money. feel like no job is ever good enough someones always gotta pick at you. i guess its everywhere you go. Lisa has been asking me to hang out with her friend adam but im not sure if i want to. i think if i do it would just be like a friend thing not a date. im very scared to start over. ive been with him almost 4 yrs and i only know what we had. now i have to gain memories with someone else and that is so hard for me. i feel like everywhere i go and everything i do will remind me of darrin. but i have to go to work. sux...but figured id write cuz im really hurt.