Amuzzzzion.
Okay. So I was browsing the text of Paradise Lost.. Don't ask why. When it occured to me... What if PL Beelzebub was like Good Omens Beelzebub? And buzzed his non-leading s-es?
Answer? It'd look like this.
"Thronezzz and Imperial Powerzzz, Offzzzpring of Heaven,
Ethereal Virtuezzz! or thezzze titlezzz now
Muzzzt we renounzzze, and, changing style, be called
Prinzzzezzz of Hell? for so the popular vote
Inclinezzz--here to continue, and build up here
A growing empire; doubtlezzz! while we dream,
And know not that the King of Heaven hath doomed
Thizzz plazzze our dungeon, not our safe retreat
Beyond hizzz potent arm, to live exzzzempt
From Heaven'zzz high jurizzzdiction, in new league
Banded againzzzt hizzz throne, but to remain
In strictezzzt bondage, though thuzzz far removed,
Under th' inevitable curb, rezzzerved
Hizzz captive multitude. For he, to be sure,
In height or depth, still firzzzt and lazzzt will reign
Sole king, and of hizzz kingdom lozzze no part
By our revolt, but over Hell exzzztend
Hizzz empire, and with iron sceptre rule
Uzzz here, azzz with hizzz golden thozzze in Heaven.
What sit we then projecting peazzze and war?
War hath determined uzzz and foiled with lozzz
Irreparable; termzzz of peazzze yet none
Vouchzzzafed or sought; for what peazzze will be given
To uzzz enzzzlaved, but cuzzztody severe,
And stripezzz and arbitrary punizzzhment
Inflicted? and what peazzze can we return,
But, to our power, hozzztility and hate,
Untamed reluctanzzze, and revenge, though slow,
Yet ever plotting how the Conqueror leazzzt
May reap hizzz conquezzzt, and may leazzzt rejoizzze
In doing what we mozzzt in suffering feel?
Nor will occazzzion want, nor shall we need
With dangerouzzz expedition to invade
Heaven, whozzze high wallzzz fear no azzzault or siege,
Or ambuzzzh from the Deep. What if we find
Some eazzzier enterprizzze? There izzz a plazzze
(If ancient and prophetic fame in Heaven
Err not)--another World, the happy seat
Of some new razzze, called Man, about thizzz time
To be created like to uzzz, though lezzz
In power and exzzzellenzzze, but favoured more
Of him who rulezzz above; so wazzz hizzz will
Pronounzzzed among the Godzzz, and by an oath
That shook Heaven'zzz whole circumferenzzze confirmed.
Thither let uzzz bend all our thoughtzzz, to learn
What creaturezzz there inhabit, of what mould
Or subzzztanzzze, how endued, and what their power
And where their weaknezzz: how attempted bezzzt,
By forzzze of subtlety. Though Heaven be shut,
And Heaven'zzz high Arbitrator sit secure
In hizzz own strength, thizzz plazzze may lie expozzzed,
The utmozzzt border of hizzz kingdom, left
To their defenzzze who hold it: here, perhapzzz,
Some advantageouzzz act may be achieved
By sudden onzzzet--either with Hell-fire
To wazzzte hizzz whole creation, or pozzzezzz
All azzz our own, and drive, azzz we were driven,
The puny habitantzzz; or, if not drive,
Seduzzze them to our party, that their God
May prove their foe, and with repenting hand
Abolizzzh hizzz own workzzz. Thizzz would surpazzz
Common revenge, and interrupt hizzz joy
In our confuzzzion, and our joy upraizzze
In hizzz dizzzturbanzzze; when hizzz darling sonzzz,
Hurled headlong to partake with uzzz, shall curzzze
Their frail original, and faded blizzz--
Faded so soon! Advizzze if thizzz be worth
Attempting, or to sit in darknezzz here
Hatching vain empirezzz."
Answer? It'd look like this.
"Thronezzz and Imperial Powerzzz, Offzzzpring of Heaven,
Ethereal Virtuezzz! or thezzze titlezzz now
Muzzzt we renounzzze, and, changing style, be called
Prinzzzezzz of Hell? for so the popular vote
Inclinezzz--here to continue, and build up here
A growing empire; doubtlezzz! while we dream,
And know not that the King of Heaven hath doomed
Thizzz plazzze our dungeon, not our safe retreat
Beyond hizzz potent arm, to live exzzzempt
From Heaven'zzz high jurizzzdiction, in new league
Banded againzzzt hizzz throne, but to remain
In strictezzzt bondage, though thuzzz far removed,
Under th' inevitable curb, rezzzerved
Hizzz captive multitude. For he, to be sure,
In height or depth, still firzzzt and lazzzt will reign
Sole king, and of hizzz kingdom lozzze no part
By our revolt, but over Hell exzzztend
Hizzz empire, and with iron sceptre rule
Uzzz here, azzz with hizzz golden thozzze in Heaven.
What sit we then projecting peazzze and war?
War hath determined uzzz and foiled with lozzz
Irreparable; termzzz of peazzze yet none
Vouchzzzafed or sought; for what peazzze will be given
To uzzz enzzzlaved, but cuzzztody severe,
And stripezzz and arbitrary punizzzhment
Inflicted? and what peazzze can we return,
But, to our power, hozzztility and hate,
Untamed reluctanzzze, and revenge, though slow,
Yet ever plotting how the Conqueror leazzzt
May reap hizzz conquezzzt, and may leazzzt rejoizzze
In doing what we mozzzt in suffering feel?
Nor will occazzzion want, nor shall we need
With dangerouzzz expedition to invade
Heaven, whozzze high wallzzz fear no azzzault or siege,
Or ambuzzzh from the Deep. What if we find
Some eazzzier enterprizzze? There izzz a plazzze
(If ancient and prophetic fame in Heaven
Err not)--another World, the happy seat
Of some new razzze, called Man, about thizzz time
To be created like to uzzz, though lezzz
In power and exzzzellenzzze, but favoured more
Of him who rulezzz above; so wazzz hizzz will
Pronounzzzed among the Godzzz, and by an oath
That shook Heaven'zzz whole circumferenzzze confirmed.
Thither let uzzz bend all our thoughtzzz, to learn
What creaturezzz there inhabit, of what mould
Or subzzztanzzze, how endued, and what their power
And where their weaknezzz: how attempted bezzzt,
By forzzze of subtlety. Though Heaven be shut,
And Heaven'zzz high Arbitrator sit secure
In hizzz own strength, thizzz plazzze may lie expozzzed,
The utmozzzt border of hizzz kingdom, left
To their defenzzze who hold it: here, perhapzzz,
Some advantageouzzz act may be achieved
By sudden onzzzet--either with Hell-fire
To wazzzte hizzz whole creation, or pozzzezzz
All azzz our own, and drive, azzz we were driven,
The puny habitantzzz; or, if not drive,
Seduzzze them to our party, that their God
May prove their foe, and with repenting hand
Abolizzzh hizzz own workzzz. Thizzz would surpazzz
Common revenge, and interrupt hizzz joy
In our confuzzzion, and our joy upraizzze
In hizzz dizzzturbanzzze; when hizzz darling sonzzz,
Hurled headlong to partake with uzzz, shall curzzze
Their frail original, and faded blizzz--
Faded so soon! Advizzze if thizzz be worth
Attempting, or to sit in darknezzz here
Hatching vain empirezzz."