Fanfic: Escaflowne - Twisted Fate Chapter 5 Teaser
Title: Twisted Fate Chapter 5: Chained to You
Author: Diana Moon dizilla
Rating: PG
Notes: Good lord, has it been so long since I wrote this? See, this half you're seeing, was written almost immediately after the fourth chapter. But then I got stuck, and then sucked into Harry Potter. ^^ At any rate, this is a good teaser as I'm prepping the chapter for final "alpha" (as this series isn't intended to be beta'd till it's done) in the next day or so.
If you're new to the series, you can find the beginnig (and a related oneshot titled "Speak to Me") at Fanfiction.NET.
"Van-sama~!" The door to the king's private chambers opened suddenly. A flood of light spilled into the room. At the doorway stood a very tired and very annoyed cat-girl. Shutting the door behind her she relayed on her cat eyes to see through the dark. To the unobserved eye, it would seem that His Royal Majesty had not been in his private chambers recently. However she could still smell his scent. She grinned as she automatically realized where he went to...
"Does your wife know where you hide to, Van-sama?" she muttered to herself. With practiced ease she vaulted out the nearby balcony and swung herself up on the roof.
~~~~~~~~~
Cold and heavy. That's what it felt like. The pendant in the Draconian King's palm was cold and heavy. A part of his heart felt that way too. For the longest, it felt that way. The reasoning changed, however. Like the pendant in his hand, his heart was not always cold and heavy. It once felt warm, it once glowed. But as the months went by, his warmth died down, his natural glow dulled a bit. Soon, he felt like himself once a month, but it was fleeting. Just recently had he been able to regain his warmth, his glow. On some days, it would seem as if he was his "old self", as the servants would say. But on days like this, with the Mystic Moon so nearby, he couldn't help but feel like the pendant in his palm.
It bothered him that the pendant felt the way it did. It seemed to happen overnight. One day it was glowing softly and feeling warm against his chest, and the next day, it was like a dull rock. He had asked Hitomi a few weeks ago but she had no answer.
"Hitomi..." Van whispered. Hitomi's face appeared clearly in his mind. The image caused him to grip the pendant tightly. She was the reason he was standing on the roof of his study. It was his last private haven, save the skies above. But flying was his way to not think, to let his mind go blank and let his emotions run. He didn't want that tonight. No, he had a lot to consider. There was still much to worry about when it came to his kingdom’s well being. The problem was he kept thinking of her, and how empty it felt when their last conversation ended a bit abruptly. Van rhung his-no-her pendant around his neck and tucked it safely beneath his shirt. The coldness of her pendant against his bare skin caused him to shiver. His heart tightened, worried about the way things have progressed of late.
The past year had been a blur for the Fanelian King. With over ninety percent of his kingdom finally rebuilt, he was finally able to focus most of his energies on rebuilding Fanelia's political standing. The reason he even had a standing was obvious. If it weren't for him and the Seeress from the Mystic Moon, there would be no reason for politics. Everyone would've been under Zaibach rule. Still, it was tough for the 'little country' of Fanelia to be taken seriously. Their only constant ally was Asturia. Queen Millerna made sure of that. Freid would have been their ally too but alas the word of an eight year old Duke could only be taken so far.
Van couldn't help but shake his head at that thought. Chid, he knew, was a gentle child. It was unfair to be thrust into such a role at such an early age. And yet his council could only take light of what opinions this child would have. This was why Van and Millerna had taken it upon themselves to ensure that Chid was not to be taken advantage of.
Although all of Freid knew that Duke Chid was a remarkable boy, he was still just a child. It would be unfair to give full responsibility to him. Van felt a bit lucky in that respect. Vargas and the then council had taken care of most of the King's duties when he became the last of his line. It wasn't until his 15th birthday that he was given full responsibility. And just days after that, given his task, that led him to her.
As much as Van wanted to, his mind wouldn’t linger on politics much longer. Instead they wandered to Hitomi. His other half. He laughed quietly. No matter what happens in his life, he'll always regard her as the single soul who could complete him.
He could suddenly hear Merle's voice in his head going 'Then why did you marry that woman?!' A chill went through him as the night wind picked up.
He wanted to reply to imaginary-Merle's voice by saying 'Because Hitomi's not here,' but that wasn't the reason. He proposed to Adele because she was the only Gaean whom he was able to be himself with. At least as much of himself that he felt comfortable with. And he proposed to her because he couldn't figure a reason why not. For the longest time, Van believed it would always be Hitomi and no one else. Then Adele arrived. It was gradual but he realized with her around, Hitomi's absence was easier to bear. With Adele around, it seemed like he could live a full life again. He *married* her because Hitomi gave no resistance.
"Ach..." Van doubled over slightly, in pain. 'Not again,' he thought, as he tried to will the burning sensation near his heart away. The pain spread, as always, towards his left shoulder. He quickly sat down on the roof. A few moments later and his chest muscles loosened. He let out a big breath of relief. His eyes, half slitted, could detect in the distance a carriage arriving.
"Merle’s returned.." He was about to get up to go greet her when he suddenly heard his wife's voice echoing in the gardens. He stayed put while he took in her voice. It wasn't melodious as his mother's or as emotive as his Hitomi's... He chuckled again at that thought. Adele's voice... It was throaty yet soft. In her voice, it felt like she could command and seduce an army. As Merle's high pitched voice reverberated beneath him, he wondered why he hesitated to go meet his childhood companion. Was it because his wife was down there too? He shook his head, no reason to hide from her -- yet he was already, hiding that is. No, it was because he spent the better part of his evening brooding about Hitomi. He'd feel overexposed with his lingering thoughts of her, and that wouldn't be fair to Adele. Again he felt the tightness within his heart. He groaned as he buried his face into his hands.
He didn't know what felt worse, the fact that thinking of Adele made his heart soar or the fact that thinking of Hitomi made it plunge. He loved them both, so why the guilty feelings?
"Why can't anyone explain to me why I feel the way I do?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It frustrated and saddened the young cat-girl to see her childhood friend in such a state. She sighed and sat down next to him. "Van-sama?" she leaned her head against his shoulder.
Van smiled softly, staring at the night sky. "Welcome home, Merle." He gave her a sidelong hug and patted her head. "Sorry I wasn't downstairs to greet you."
Merle simply shook her head. "It's all right, Van. I returned ahead of schedule at any rate."
"All went well then?"
Merle's laugh was slightly bitter. "As well as I could make it. But it should do... At least until the conference." She heard her friend sigh. "That's not what's bothering you, though, is it Van?"
He simply grunted in reply. 'I remember a time when I didn't want to just think about politics,' he thought. 'But now...If it was the only thing I had to worry about...' Subconsciously, Van rubbed his left shoulder. It was just a few minutes ago that it had ached, along with his chest.
Knowing the thoughts that ran through the young King's head, Merle shifted from her spot and knelt in front of him. She didn't have to worry about balancing on the slope of the roof as her cat abilities kicked in. She took his hands in hers, getting his full attention. He looked at Merle with expectant eyes. When she asked, her voice became soft and caring.
"Why do you hurt?"
As the years had gone by since the Great War, Merle slowly but surely learned her place. She wasn't the jealous and over-affectionate 'brat' that would cling on to her liege constantly anymore. Even though Van and she grew up together, and he never minded her affections, she couldn't do that in public. She wasn't a kitten anymore. Of course, she couldn't stop altogether. That was not her personality to do so, and it would have troubled Van greatly to have his last close friend to become cold towards him. Simply because he was king, a married one at that. So on occasions like this when it was just the two of them, with no titles standing in the way, Van could vent out his innermost frustrations and Merle could be the companion he always counted on.
So here they were. A Draconian boy and a Feline girl having a simple conversation. The rest of the Gaean world knew, though, they are not simple but complicated figures of history. And those two knew that they weren't having a simple conversation. For nothing's simple when speaking of the heart. When it comes to that, people tend to do crazy things. Instead of being angry, they say they're okay, instead of saying no they say yes. In Van's case at this very moment, instead of crying, he laughed. This wasn't a laugh of bitterness or cynicism as Merle displayed earlier. This was a laugh of contentment.
"Van?"
The poor cat-girl didn't know what to do. One minute her companion was lost in painful thought about a certain girl from a certain moon, and the next he's laughing uncontrollably. She could handle the former; she had much more experience with that. The latter, however, was almost uncharted territory for her. As she was about to let go of his hands, he grabbed hers.
"Why do I hurt? WHY do I hurt? Because all is right in this world."
Merle sighed in confusion. "I don't understand..."
"Are we at war? Are we in financial instability? Is the Kingdom unhappy? Am I in love?"
Merle had adamantly shook her head at each question save for the last. She wasn't sure either way. So instead, and with great patience, she tilted her head to side and asked innocently, "Are you?"
"*sigh* Very much so." He hung his head low.
"With the Lady Adele?"
"Of course!" Although he said this with much affirmation, he still kept his head lowered.
"And what of Hitomi?" As with her first question, the pink haired girl had thought she already knew the answer. Having thought she knew her liege very well. Now, she wasn't sure of his answer, almost afraid of it.
Van squeezed her hands tightly. Almost in a way that felt like he was in pain. "Yes."
He whispered it so softly that Merle wasn't sure if he said anything at all or if the breeze was playing tricks on her ears. She pretended it wasn't a trick of the wind. And then she grew bold.
"As much as your /wife/?" She kept her grip steady as he tried to remove his hands from her, as if he suddenly was burned. He struggled for a moment, part of him not really wanting to let go.
"More so," he began to regain his voice, it becoming a bit stronger. "But that's the not problem Merle."
She simply nodded.
"Everything is almost perfect. The current problems with the Kingdom are not so major. With the upcoming Peace Conference, we shouldn't have to worry much. My people are happy, my friends are living well, and you're here by my side. And to top it off, I have a wonderful Queen. A competent, independent thinker, who can easily make me forget my small worries."
"Except SHE is not Hitomi. And not all your worries are small," Merle responded evenly. She scooted forward, bringing their hands towards his heart.
He lifted his head slightly and stared into Merle's eyes. He was a bit surprised on how grown up she suddenly looked. She looked back at him intensely, and before he could say anything, she started up again.
"But that's okay...I know if you could have it any other way, Hitomi would be with us. She made her choice and you, yours. And you're happy right? Of course not at this moment, but even Kings need time for themselves and brood however long they want. You shouldn't feel guilty for being happy. This is the way the gods wanted it, and I know Hitomi will find her happiness too." Merle tried to stop the tears from flowing; there was no reason for her to cry she thought. But seeing her Van like this saddened her.
She continued, "At least you still get to talk to her, right? Your love for her is so great Van, nothing will ever keep you two fully apart. You're too good hearted and stubborn to let that happen. And that's what I love about you..."
By this time, Merle had let go of Van's hands and instead wrapped her arms around him. He soon reciprocated, his face in the crook of her neck. Even though his longtime friend didn't soothe all his burning questions, she was able to for a few. She was right, he shouldn't feel this way. And even though right now there was no status between Merle and him, he knew that in the end he was a King first, and a Man last. He had his duties and he should just thank his lucky stars that he found someone as wonderful as the Lady Adele. Not a girl from the Mystic Moon, but then again, they all couldn't be.
Knowing how late it was, Van finally let his last defense down. He needed to do this one last act before he stepped into his study to become Fanelia's King again. He was happy that Merle was back, but sad that it would still be a few more weeks till he could talk to Hitomi again. For the first time since his brother's disappearance, Van cried. He cried for all the emotions swirling inside of him. He cried for the inability to see what will lie ahead and not let go of the past, and for being forever chained to fate.
"Thank You...Merle..."
He cried, simply because he was just a boy with the weight of a Kingdom and its duties on his shoulders, and simply because he was with his best friend, his sister almost. And she cried, simply because she was just a girl with the weight of carrying this boy's burdens, her only family, on her shoulders. They were chained together, and they wouldn't have it any other way.
"Oh Van-sama..."
Author: Diana Moon dizilla
Rating: PG
Notes: Good lord, has it been so long since I wrote this? See, this half you're seeing, was written almost immediately after the fourth chapter. But then I got stuck, and then sucked into Harry Potter. ^^ At any rate, this is a good teaser as I'm prepping the chapter for final "alpha" (as this series isn't intended to be beta'd till it's done) in the next day or so.
If you're new to the series, you can find the beginnig (and a related oneshot titled "Speak to Me") at Fanfiction.NET.
"Van-sama~!" The door to the king's private chambers opened suddenly. A flood of light spilled into the room. At the doorway stood a very tired and very annoyed cat-girl. Shutting the door behind her she relayed on her cat eyes to see through the dark. To the unobserved eye, it would seem that His Royal Majesty had not been in his private chambers recently. However she could still smell his scent. She grinned as she automatically realized where he went to...
"Does your wife know where you hide to, Van-sama?" she muttered to herself. With practiced ease she vaulted out the nearby balcony and swung herself up on the roof.
~~~~~~~~~
Cold and heavy. That's what it felt like. The pendant in the Draconian King's palm was cold and heavy. A part of his heart felt that way too. For the longest, it felt that way. The reasoning changed, however. Like the pendant in his hand, his heart was not always cold and heavy. It once felt warm, it once glowed. But as the months went by, his warmth died down, his natural glow dulled a bit. Soon, he felt like himself once a month, but it was fleeting. Just recently had he been able to regain his warmth, his glow. On some days, it would seem as if he was his "old self", as the servants would say. But on days like this, with the Mystic Moon so nearby, he couldn't help but feel like the pendant in his palm.
It bothered him that the pendant felt the way it did. It seemed to happen overnight. One day it was glowing softly and feeling warm against his chest, and the next day, it was like a dull rock. He had asked Hitomi a few weeks ago but she had no answer.
"Hitomi..." Van whispered. Hitomi's face appeared clearly in his mind. The image caused him to grip the pendant tightly. She was the reason he was standing on the roof of his study. It was his last private haven, save the skies above. But flying was his way to not think, to let his mind go blank and let his emotions run. He didn't want that tonight. No, he had a lot to consider. There was still much to worry about when it came to his kingdom’s well being. The problem was he kept thinking of her, and how empty it felt when their last conversation ended a bit abruptly. Van rhung his-no-her pendant around his neck and tucked it safely beneath his shirt. The coldness of her pendant against his bare skin caused him to shiver. His heart tightened, worried about the way things have progressed of late.
The past year had been a blur for the Fanelian King. With over ninety percent of his kingdom finally rebuilt, he was finally able to focus most of his energies on rebuilding Fanelia's political standing. The reason he even had a standing was obvious. If it weren't for him and the Seeress from the Mystic Moon, there would be no reason for politics. Everyone would've been under Zaibach rule. Still, it was tough for the 'little country' of Fanelia to be taken seriously. Their only constant ally was Asturia. Queen Millerna made sure of that. Freid would have been their ally too but alas the word of an eight year old Duke could only be taken so far.
Van couldn't help but shake his head at that thought. Chid, he knew, was a gentle child. It was unfair to be thrust into such a role at such an early age. And yet his council could only take light of what opinions this child would have. This was why Van and Millerna had taken it upon themselves to ensure that Chid was not to be taken advantage of.
Although all of Freid knew that Duke Chid was a remarkable boy, he was still just a child. It would be unfair to give full responsibility to him. Van felt a bit lucky in that respect. Vargas and the then council had taken care of most of the King's duties when he became the last of his line. It wasn't until his 15th birthday that he was given full responsibility. And just days after that, given his task, that led him to her.
As much as Van wanted to, his mind wouldn’t linger on politics much longer. Instead they wandered to Hitomi. His other half. He laughed quietly. No matter what happens in his life, he'll always regard her as the single soul who could complete him.
He could suddenly hear Merle's voice in his head going 'Then why did you marry that woman?!' A chill went through him as the night wind picked up.
He wanted to reply to imaginary-Merle's voice by saying 'Because Hitomi's not here,' but that wasn't the reason. He proposed to Adele because she was the only Gaean whom he was able to be himself with. At least as much of himself that he felt comfortable with. And he proposed to her because he couldn't figure a reason why not. For the longest time, Van believed it would always be Hitomi and no one else. Then Adele arrived. It was gradual but he realized with her around, Hitomi's absence was easier to bear. With Adele around, it seemed like he could live a full life again. He *married* her because Hitomi gave no resistance.
"Ach..." Van doubled over slightly, in pain. 'Not again,' he thought, as he tried to will the burning sensation near his heart away. The pain spread, as always, towards his left shoulder. He quickly sat down on the roof. A few moments later and his chest muscles loosened. He let out a big breath of relief. His eyes, half slitted, could detect in the distance a carriage arriving.
"Merle’s returned.." He was about to get up to go greet her when he suddenly heard his wife's voice echoing in the gardens. He stayed put while he took in her voice. It wasn't melodious as his mother's or as emotive as his Hitomi's... He chuckled again at that thought. Adele's voice... It was throaty yet soft. In her voice, it felt like she could command and seduce an army. As Merle's high pitched voice reverberated beneath him, he wondered why he hesitated to go meet his childhood companion. Was it because his wife was down there too? He shook his head, no reason to hide from her -- yet he was already, hiding that is. No, it was because he spent the better part of his evening brooding about Hitomi. He'd feel overexposed with his lingering thoughts of her, and that wouldn't be fair to Adele. Again he felt the tightness within his heart. He groaned as he buried his face into his hands.
He didn't know what felt worse, the fact that thinking of Adele made his heart soar or the fact that thinking of Hitomi made it plunge. He loved them both, so why the guilty feelings?
"Why can't anyone explain to me why I feel the way I do?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It frustrated and saddened the young cat-girl to see her childhood friend in such a state. She sighed and sat down next to him. "Van-sama?" she leaned her head against his shoulder.
Van smiled softly, staring at the night sky. "Welcome home, Merle." He gave her a sidelong hug and patted her head. "Sorry I wasn't downstairs to greet you."
Merle simply shook her head. "It's all right, Van. I returned ahead of schedule at any rate."
"All went well then?"
Merle's laugh was slightly bitter. "As well as I could make it. But it should do... At least until the conference." She heard her friend sigh. "That's not what's bothering you, though, is it Van?"
He simply grunted in reply. 'I remember a time when I didn't want to just think about politics,' he thought. 'But now...If it was the only thing I had to worry about...' Subconsciously, Van rubbed his left shoulder. It was just a few minutes ago that it had ached, along with his chest.
Knowing the thoughts that ran through the young King's head, Merle shifted from her spot and knelt in front of him. She didn't have to worry about balancing on the slope of the roof as her cat abilities kicked in. She took his hands in hers, getting his full attention. He looked at Merle with expectant eyes. When she asked, her voice became soft and caring.
"Why do you hurt?"
As the years had gone by since the Great War, Merle slowly but surely learned her place. She wasn't the jealous and over-affectionate 'brat' that would cling on to her liege constantly anymore. Even though Van and she grew up together, and he never minded her affections, she couldn't do that in public. She wasn't a kitten anymore. Of course, she couldn't stop altogether. That was not her personality to do so, and it would have troubled Van greatly to have his last close friend to become cold towards him. Simply because he was king, a married one at that. So on occasions like this when it was just the two of them, with no titles standing in the way, Van could vent out his innermost frustrations and Merle could be the companion he always counted on.
So here they were. A Draconian boy and a Feline girl having a simple conversation. The rest of the Gaean world knew, though, they are not simple but complicated figures of history. And those two knew that they weren't having a simple conversation. For nothing's simple when speaking of the heart. When it comes to that, people tend to do crazy things. Instead of being angry, they say they're okay, instead of saying no they say yes. In Van's case at this very moment, instead of crying, he laughed. This wasn't a laugh of bitterness or cynicism as Merle displayed earlier. This was a laugh of contentment.
"Van?"
The poor cat-girl didn't know what to do. One minute her companion was lost in painful thought about a certain girl from a certain moon, and the next he's laughing uncontrollably. She could handle the former; she had much more experience with that. The latter, however, was almost uncharted territory for her. As she was about to let go of his hands, he grabbed hers.
"Why do I hurt? WHY do I hurt? Because all is right in this world."
Merle sighed in confusion. "I don't understand..."
"Are we at war? Are we in financial instability? Is the Kingdom unhappy? Am I in love?"
Merle had adamantly shook her head at each question save for the last. She wasn't sure either way. So instead, and with great patience, she tilted her head to side and asked innocently, "Are you?"
"*sigh* Very much so." He hung his head low.
"With the Lady Adele?"
"Of course!" Although he said this with much affirmation, he still kept his head lowered.
"And what of Hitomi?" As with her first question, the pink haired girl had thought she already knew the answer. Having thought she knew her liege very well. Now, she wasn't sure of his answer, almost afraid of it.
Van squeezed her hands tightly. Almost in a way that felt like he was in pain. "Yes."
He whispered it so softly that Merle wasn't sure if he said anything at all or if the breeze was playing tricks on her ears. She pretended it wasn't a trick of the wind. And then she grew bold.
"As much as your /wife/?" She kept her grip steady as he tried to remove his hands from her, as if he suddenly was burned. He struggled for a moment, part of him not really wanting to let go.
"More so," he began to regain his voice, it becoming a bit stronger. "But that's the not problem Merle."
She simply nodded.
"Everything is almost perfect. The current problems with the Kingdom are not so major. With the upcoming Peace Conference, we shouldn't have to worry much. My people are happy, my friends are living well, and you're here by my side. And to top it off, I have a wonderful Queen. A competent, independent thinker, who can easily make me forget my small worries."
"Except SHE is not Hitomi. And not all your worries are small," Merle responded evenly. She scooted forward, bringing their hands towards his heart.
He lifted his head slightly and stared into Merle's eyes. He was a bit surprised on how grown up she suddenly looked. She looked back at him intensely, and before he could say anything, she started up again.
"But that's okay...I know if you could have it any other way, Hitomi would be with us. She made her choice and you, yours. And you're happy right? Of course not at this moment, but even Kings need time for themselves and brood however long they want. You shouldn't feel guilty for being happy. This is the way the gods wanted it, and I know Hitomi will find her happiness too." Merle tried to stop the tears from flowing; there was no reason for her to cry she thought. But seeing her Van like this saddened her.
She continued, "At least you still get to talk to her, right? Your love for her is so great Van, nothing will ever keep you two fully apart. You're too good hearted and stubborn to let that happen. And that's what I love about you..."
By this time, Merle had let go of Van's hands and instead wrapped her arms around him. He soon reciprocated, his face in the crook of her neck. Even though his longtime friend didn't soothe all his burning questions, she was able to for a few. She was right, he shouldn't feel this way. And even though right now there was no status between Merle and him, he knew that in the end he was a King first, and a Man last. He had his duties and he should just thank his lucky stars that he found someone as wonderful as the Lady Adele. Not a girl from the Mystic Moon, but then again, they all couldn't be.
Knowing how late it was, Van finally let his last defense down. He needed to do this one last act before he stepped into his study to become Fanelia's King again. He was happy that Merle was back, but sad that it would still be a few more weeks till he could talk to Hitomi again. For the first time since his brother's disappearance, Van cried. He cried for all the emotions swirling inside of him. He cried for the inability to see what will lie ahead and not let go of the past, and for being forever chained to fate.
"Thank You...Merle..."
He cried, simply because he was just a boy with the weight of a Kingdom and its duties on his shoulders, and simply because he was with his best friend, his sister almost. And she cried, simply because she was just a girl with the weight of carrying this boy's burdens, her only family, on her shoulders. They were chained together, and they wouldn't have it any other way.
"Oh Van-sama..."