My relationship with the muse is masochistic and abusive, but I just can't quit it.
Towards the end of my unemployment, I felt like my creativity was returning to me. I had written new things, I had been starting to create new artwork. I had blamed my previous lack of creativity on the horrible environment I had been trapped in with Radio Scrap, but I'm starting to wonder if there's more involved, as this new job has been much better for me. The environment is much nicer because everyone seems like a nicer crew than I had been dealing with at RS. There are details that annoy, but nothing big, really.
So it's frustrating that I feel like I've lost my creativity again. I feel the urge to create, but when I look at the notebook page, the sketchbook page, or whatever paper I have handy, I get the most horrible case of the screaming white. It feels like I've fallen into a white room with nothing else. No corners, no doors, no windows, no furniture. Frell, I feel like there's nothing there but my consciousness.
I suppose I should attempt to force myself to draw some characters. I'm starting to get a better feel for the people involved in some of my role play characters lives, and I suppose it would help to attempt to put my own pencil to paper to try to bring them to life. There is only so much I can do to realize my characters through other people's creativity. I've done some fun stuff with tools like the eLouai Candybar Doll Maker, Gaia Dream Avatar Creator and the Southpark Character Creator, but they're all ultimately someone else's perspective shoe horned into being my characters. It's fun to play with, but I need to do my own view of my own characters.