so you treat your love like a firefly

[diywarrior]

When Sif had sent Thor to speak with Jane, it had not been easy. There was, from her perspective, absolutely no plausible outcome wherein all parties would be happy and satisfied. It was beyond a doubt that in some way, Thor would be in some amount less than content

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[thorgi]

Thor was doing everything he could to keep himself from openly weeping. The conversation with Jane had gone well by all accounts, but he still could not deny the empty feeling that had settled itself in his chest. It was not a pleasant feeling. There had been no shouting, no tears even, just a solemn agreement and sober words. It was clear that neither of them were really happy about it, but they both knew that this was the best choice for them all. It did little to dull the paint in his heart.

"Sif..." he moaned, his head rested atop his arms, staring at the bottle in his grasp. "I did not know heartache would feel like this. I daresay I have had little to prepare me for such as this."

It was true. Though Thor had spent time with many women, he had never felt so deeply for them as he felt for Jane. Or Sif, for that matter. The both of them held a place in his heart that was much more treasured than any shallow courtier. He had never expected to have to experience this, either. Before he found himself in Midgard, his future had seemed so certain. Landing in the New Mexico desert had drastically derailed his life. For the better, perhaps, but right now it was difficult for him to see that. If only had and Jane had never met.

[diywarrior]

There were many ways in which Sif wished to respond to this, and none of them were appropriate. There would be no smacking Thor, no saying 'I told you,' and probably no telling him to shut up and drink. Part of her felt shame, that she was mentally responding so callously, but then she had to admit that if she did not keep some mental distance from this, Jane would likely soon find herself punched squarely in the face and receiving a long lecture on the topic of just how idiotic and cowardly she was to allow this. Whether that was true or not.

Sif sighed, placing a consoling hand on Thor's shoulder. It was hardly as if she had a frame of reference for his current pain, her situation being quite different. "Surely you have suffered and striven through greater pain in battle? I know that it is bad, but that is why we have drink to numb it."

[thorgi]

Thor wanted someone to hold him. He wanted to be held. Sif was there and she had her hand on his shoulder, but he realized he would have to be content with that for now. It wouldn't be appropriate for him to lay his head in her lap and cling to her legs like he quite wished to do. That wouldn't be good at all. If he didn't watch his intake of alcohol, it might happen anyway.

"Ha!" Thor bellowed, taking another swig from his flagon. Mug. Whatever they called it here. He shook his head, his cheeks starting to get ruddy and flushed. "In battle. I have been wounded greatly in battle, bled from many gashes but nothing has compared to this. This is not a wound I can sew shut, Sif. At least, I know not how that can be done.

[diywarrior]

Sif did not move away at Thor's shout, having expected it. There were no words that she possessed that would ease his pain right now. "No, this is not something which may be fixed with needle and thread, but you are strong. Time will dull this pain. You both agreed, did you not?"

[thorgi]

Thor nodded, looking absolutely miserable. He didn't care that he surely looked pathetic. He felt pathetic.

They had indeed agreed, though that was doing little to dull the pain right now. He knew it was better in the long run, that this was the way to go, but he still needed his time to mourn. He felt so lonely right now.

Though that wasn't true at all, was it? Sif was here, by his side as she always had been. For better or worse. He looked up at her. "You have such faith."

[diywarrior]

"And what reason have I to doubt?" He did look pathetic. In other circumstances, perhaps she would have teased him for it. Sif looked him square in the eye instead. "You have never given me reason to doubt your resilience."

[thorgi]

He met her gaze, letting it numb the pain if only for a moment. He gave her a small nod.

"I suppose I could argue, but I don't really wish to," he told her. "I am only grateful. You have stood by my side through much."

[diywarrior]

"Good choice. You would only lose." Sif sipped her drink, thinking. In some ways, navigating this conversation was as complicated as a battle. She was curious, but could not ask him about the details of his conversation with Jane. She wanted to help, comfort him in any way she could, but for both their sakes needed to limit herself to the role of stalwart friend.

"I would not know where else to stand, Thor. But you are welcome anyway."

[thorgi]

Perhaps it was good that Sif was keeping her distance. The more that Thor drank, the more he longed for the nearness of another being, and Sif would likely be his first choice. Sif knew him, knew how to comfort him and make him feel better. She could make him forget. And this alcohol was making it hard for him to see why he shouldn't be in her arms this very instant.

He stared at her, his eyes red. He studied her features, long familiar to him. He thought, not for the first time, on how beautiful she is. "I doubt I could ever truly lose, with you."

[diywarrior]

"So the times I have bested you on the training grounds are finally sinking in?" Sif smiled, not having to feign her smugness, exactly, but certainly hoping that Thor would take the redirection. Deep, meaningful talk would probably not lead in positive directions right now.

[thorgi]

Thor laughed, shaking his head. He certainly had found himself flat on his back at her hand on the training floor. "Perhaps at last."

He took another deep drink from his mug, trying to somehow find comfort there. He wasn't sure what else there was to do. The only thing left to ease his aching heart was time. He could not will it to come faster.

[diywarrior]

"I will believe it when I see it. Though I believe that I've found a Midgardian exercise that might give you a competitive chance." She hoped that she could get him to discuss combat. Maybe it would get his mind off things a little bit.

"It is meditative, though, so I am unsure you would be interested."

[thorgi]

Thor was far to intoxicated to be able to identify that this was most certainly a trap. He was at a disadvantage and she knew it. Needless to say, he bit.

"Not interested?" he asked, intrigued. "Tell me, I can judge whether or not I am interested, I think."