(no subject)
Even though there's often this deep sadness I feel, there is always this prevaling sense that I am a very lucky, priveleged person. Sometimes it's about my getting to work at a radio station or seeing great bands or travelling, but sometimes things at home can be ok or sometimes I have casts on my feet and I realise that takes privelege. I am lucky. I was born three months early. I was about 3 pounds and I was 17 inches long. Scrawny. My lungs weren't fully formed and I was given a medicine that wasn't technically in its trial period yet that kept me from having lung damage. My grandmother gave me blood transfusions. I stayed in the hospital for a month. My being premature is what probably made my ankles so prone to getting fucked up. I can deal. Third surgery, hopefully last. I'm glad I could get the surgeries though. That's the privelege I'm talking about.
As for my ankle, I went to the doctor this morning. He said it looks good. He explained what he thinks happened. So, the first time I had surgery, that procedure (out of three at the time) was to put a titanium implant in my subtalar joint canal to straighten it out and keep it from collapsing. He said it felt a bit tight going in, but he got it in the joint nevertheless so it should have been okay. Fast forward. Later, swelling in the joing would not go down. There was a deep pain in the joint that was exacerbated by my working on my feet. He thought there was scar tissue in my joint capsule that never broke up for some reason. Either way, there was some scar tissue in there somewhere that because of its size would get pinched in the joint, get inflammed, get more pinched, more inflammed, etc. Basically, what ended up happening is that it got so inflamed it pushed my implant out of the ankle canal. So it would pop and move around that canal. Cortisone shots would temporarily relieve the pain but they are not good for you, and they did not resolve the problem of my foot resorting back to its previous posture because of the implant sliding.
With this surgery, the doctor took out the implant, scoped out the joint, and put in a new larger implant. He realised that there was scar tissue not in in the joint capsule, but fibroids, random seeming scarred tissue throughout my joint canal. He says this must have been there before the last surgery and woulc have been caused by my being active on malformed ankles. Effectively the scar tissue had formed in the joint as a reaction to it being crappy and hurting before. So, now that the scar tissue is gone and a new implant is back in, it should be okay. I hope so.
As for my ankle, I went to the doctor this morning. He said it looks good. He explained what he thinks happened. So, the first time I had surgery, that procedure (out of three at the time) was to put a titanium implant in my subtalar joint canal to straighten it out and keep it from collapsing. He said it felt a bit tight going in, but he got it in the joint nevertheless so it should have been okay. Fast forward. Later, swelling in the joing would not go down. There was a deep pain in the joint that was exacerbated by my working on my feet. He thought there was scar tissue in my joint capsule that never broke up for some reason. Either way, there was some scar tissue in there somewhere that because of its size would get pinched in the joint, get inflammed, get more pinched, more inflammed, etc. Basically, what ended up happening is that it got so inflamed it pushed my implant out of the ankle canal. So it would pop and move around that canal. Cortisone shots would temporarily relieve the pain but they are not good for you, and they did not resolve the problem of my foot resorting back to its previous posture because of the implant sliding.
With this surgery, the doctor took out the implant, scoped out the joint, and put in a new larger implant. He realised that there was scar tissue not in in the joint capsule, but fibroids, random seeming scarred tissue throughout my joint canal. He says this must have been there before the last surgery and woulc have been caused by my being active on malformed ankles. Effectively the scar tissue had formed in the joint as a reaction to it being crappy and hurting before. So, now that the scar tissue is gone and a new implant is back in, it should be okay. I hope so.