poem change

[dixiegal106]

I chaned one of my poems tell me which one u like more or whatever
it has been on my lj b4 so if u already read it im sorry i just wantd to see which one others will think is better and i am still working with it just cant decide on an ending.
(the first time i wrote it)
A vast field of rejection,
I turn,
The deeper in the maze I go,
The worse it gets.
My tears stain the weary ground.
I hold out my hand,
I can't even grasp the rain.
Fallen onto my knees,
My aching head hangs.
Lying on the ground,
I have hopes on sunshine,
For when I wake.
I open my eyes,
Looking around,
I find I'm home.
My ratty bear stares.
And I fall back into my morbid sleep

(take two)
A vast field of rejection,
I turn,
deeper in the maze,
the worse it gets.
My tears stain the weary ground.
I hold out my hand,
I can't even grasp the rain.
Fallen onto my knees,
My aching head hangs.
Lying on the ground,
I have hopes on daylight,
for when I wake.
I open my eyes,
glance around,
and stumble,
my ratty bear stares.
He is the only one that understands,
what I suffer.
Grapping the bear
I fall back to a morbid sleep