Hey you, you naive thing, you're patience in time will tire
Today was one of those days that made me want to curl up in a ball and die. No joke. But I swear I was going to take people with me. Mainly 5th graders and incompetent administrative staff. Too bad they were all at different schools. It's a little bit difficult to kick some hard core bootay at two sites at opposite ends of town.
Things I disliked about today:
-not getting to teach junior high
-getting freakin' hosed by MUSD. You say a half day is 3.5 hours and a full day is more than that. 4 hours > 3.5 hours. I should get a full day pay for 4 hours. Just because you f'ed it up and scheduled me 8:30-12:30 (4 hours) at one school and then 1:00-3:45 at another, you shouldn't be able to take it back and call it only a half day at 2 in the afternoon. Jerks.
-teaching resource. Are you kidding me? I am completely unqualified to be dealing with special needs children (whether academic or emotional special needs). Way to go on that one.
-5th graders. They are from Satan himself.
-ghetto schools. Both of them.
-Botany. Seriously. The first time I get to teach science as a sub, it's botany. How is this fair?
-no lunch until 1pm = grumpy Tricia who hasn't eaten since 7am
-Joseph. Why do you always cry when I work with you?
-my feet hurt.
-so does my head.
-not enough cowbell
-lockdown drills
-the fact that I feel guilty because I only spent an hour and a half at school today.
Things I liked about today:
-my outfit.
-good hair day
-my necklace is freaking awesome (according to a random sampling of 5th graders...and a couple of 4th graders thrown in for good measure)
-sarcasm and my grasp of it
-being ubersneaky
-one really sweet girl in the resource class
-nice weather this afternoon
-being the "best sub they'd ever had" (but for the love of all that is good and holy how do they treat the subs they don't like? Live sacrifices to the dark ones?)
-fun conversations about tasers over SAT prep math/pre-calc
-discussion of hockey
-Julianne and Napoleon Dynamite references. At least someone thinks I'm funny.
-silent ball (blessed relief)
-my parents on the phone (hilarious)
-conversations (and phone tag) with Scorpion Woman
-hugs from 10 year olds (not in a weird way)
-getting to see Amber
-studying for Med Micro (<3 that class)
-subbing for the Dr. Moore of elementary schools. Single, long hair, weird clothes, pictures of her cats on the wall, a signed poster of a character from Lord of the Rings
-only spending an hour and a half at school today
I've decided that I'm going to start a blog about my adventures in education (that is the educating I'm doing, not the education I'm getting). It will discuss any and all humorous, unbelievable, and mundane details of my employment as a TA, instructor, and substitute teacher, much in the same vein as Waiter Rant or Barmaid Blog deal with the service industry. I'm just waiting to come up with a catchy title/slogan (and and all input is appreciated) so I can begin. It'll be a great way for me to vent.
At the end of the day, when all is said and done, it appears that once again the good has outweighed the bad (though the full/half day thing still makes me twitch) and all is right with the world. If only it felt like that during the beginning and middle of the day. I need to consider myself fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life, excellent opportunities to further my education, and 3 jobs I don't hate (which is a total 180 from that hellhole, I mean bookstore, I used to work at) that pay the bills. There's still this strange inner downer I haven't been able to shake, but after the past couple of years, I've begun to get used to her (my inner downer is a chick. She sits in the darkest corners of my mind, wearing black, listening to Fall Out Boy, while crying and rocking herself. She is emo. lol), but I do wish she'd vacate and make room for Matt Damon. Yum. The downer chick is something I'd love to rid myself of, but I'm not quite ready for the happy pills my mom said I should go for. I'll settle for Mountain Dew ODs instead. Mmm...Mountain Dew AND Matt Damon. My two favorite MDs. *drool*
The other day I was contemplating my (mis)fortunes because I was working on hour 14 at school. I started thinking about how lucky I was to have an amazing support system to get me through what promises to be one of the most difficult few months of my life (hello thesis anyone?). I realized that I've always been able to find the one or two people who are just so awesome and ally myself with them. I had that in grade school, I had it in junior high and high school (thank you for being so good to me when I was such a dork lol ...PS say nothing about the fact that I still am a dork and that dork really means whale penis...you'll ruin the nice thoughts :P I love you!), and I have it now (who else would stay at school with me until 2 in the morning? You're amazing and I don't think you even realize to what extent). I'm not sure what I would have done without it and I'm so glad I never had to find out. Here's to hoping the trend continues.
Driving to school from work, I got to thinking about my job (the subbing one). It's the first "grown-up" job I've had. I think back to some of the subs I had and realize that when I was young, I thought they were so old (and some of them were haha) and then I had that flash of insight telling me that now I'm the old one. It used to be all for one and one for all, us vs. them. And now? I'm them! *sob* I am responsible for anywhere from 20-35 5-18 year olds for hours at a time on a given day. It's insanity. I'm 23. I can't be a grown-up, or have a "real job" (and I suppose I'm really not a grown-up since grown-ups don't call themselves that), but I actually am and do. It's quite disturbing. I am an adult. Being on the other side of that invisible wall is strange. Being a TA never really made me feel like that because it's almost like a transition. Yes, I am their instructor, but I'm also sort of one of them. I take classes from the same professors they do, sometimes we're in the same class (not while I'm teaching them, but I've had a couple of my former students in Parasit and Med Micro), I'm struggling to get through and graduate just like they are, , they're my age (sometimes right down to the day) and it's sometimes hard to differentiate between being their peer and being their instructor, but it's never made me feel so old. Tutoring is easy because they call me Tricia, we work in small groups, we make small talk, etc, and it's almost like we're buddies doing our homework together (except when I make them cry). Subbing is offers nothing of the sort. The call me by my last name (which I'm now JUST learning to respond to) or "teacher" which sends chills down my spine. I must command this level of respect from people who were born when I was in junior high or high school and it's disconcerting. I never really felt like I was an adult until I started subbing. But those days, I feel so old. I can't goof off with them. I can't be their friend. I can't say some of my favorite words (I can't really do that tutoring, but you know...). I can't make small talk. I can't nudge the person sitting next to me and make smart comments about everything and everyone. I have to stand at the front of the room with all eyes on me and try to be as imposing as possible (not always a difficult task for a 6 foot tall woman in heels with a very big voice). I have to be the one to tell them to stop talking and start listening. I have to send them to the office. I have to assign their homework. I have to lock the doors so the bad guys can't get in. I have to wield all power over recess and play time. I have to give them band-aids. I have to comfort them when they cry (unless it was my fault...then NO MERCY...lol jk jk). I have to say "no iPods in class" when all I really want to do is rock out. I have to be the jerk who stops all the fun. I have to call them out by name and make them pull a card. I have to be in charge of their education (if only for a day). Sometimes the responsibility can be a lot to consider. What have I gotten myself in to?
My students (genetics) seem to be pretty fantastic. I had some of them before in genetics, 61, or micro, and they're hardcore awesome. My ATAs are fantastic. I have evil plans to make things go my way. It is all of the good. I'm so glad lab started up this week. I've really missed the TAing part of my life. I'm also absolutely loving my Med Micro class. Of course it's frustrating at times because people won't just answer a freaking question (and Dr. Land won't call on us anymore lol), but Dr. Land is hands down my favorite professor I've ever had. With Dr. Youngblom coming in a close second. He makes the class so much fun, he's an incredible lecturer, and he is so knowledgeable about the subject. Lab was a little lame this week (setting up a PCR, but at least our tube was awesome...props to Amber for that one), but I'm sure it'll pick up, so I'm looking forward to that as well, and I normally hate going to lab. Things on the thesis/research front are sort of blah. I've read a ton of articles (I know I'm close to 20 now, which means only like 40 to go) and I've gotten some of my introduction banged out, but I can't shake the feeling that I'll get to the point where my research doesn't work and all I end up with is an introduction...and maybe materials and methods haha. Let's cross our fingers for results, shall we? I haven't yet heard from any Ph.D. programs, but it's still a bit early, so I haven't given up all hope entirely. However, as a backup plan, because I'm lame and there's a chance I'll not get in anywhere, I've started looking for jobs at JCs and have found a couple that look promising (Cell and Molecular Biology and SF City College...), so I'll probably apply for those as a "just in case I don't get into a Ph.D. program because I'm lame. I've also decided that I could just move to somewhere like Guam, where I'm probably grossly overqualified and just become a doctor because we've decided that an MD from Guam is probably equivalent to an AS from the real US (and yes, that was a joke...more like an MD from Panama or Colombia hahaha).
I apologize for the extensiveness of this blog and commend any and all who have made it through. Off to bed for me. Quiz tomorrow at 8! :)
Things I disliked about today:
-not getting to teach junior high
-getting freakin' hosed by MUSD. You say a half day is 3.5 hours and a full day is more than that. 4 hours > 3.5 hours. I should get a full day pay for 4 hours. Just because you f'ed it up and scheduled me 8:30-12:30 (4 hours) at one school and then 1:00-3:45 at another, you shouldn't be able to take it back and call it only a half day at 2 in the afternoon. Jerks.
-teaching resource. Are you kidding me? I am completely unqualified to be dealing with special needs children (whether academic or emotional special needs). Way to go on that one.
-5th graders. They are from Satan himself.
-ghetto schools. Both of them.
-Botany. Seriously. The first time I get to teach science as a sub, it's botany. How is this fair?
-no lunch until 1pm = grumpy Tricia who hasn't eaten since 7am
-Joseph. Why do you always cry when I work with you?
-my feet hurt.
-so does my head.
-not enough cowbell
-lockdown drills
-the fact that I feel guilty because I only spent an hour and a half at school today.
Things I liked about today:
-my outfit.
-good hair day
-my necklace is freaking awesome (according to a random sampling of 5th graders...and a couple of 4th graders thrown in for good measure)
-sarcasm and my grasp of it
-being ubersneaky
-one really sweet girl in the resource class
-nice weather this afternoon
-being the "best sub they'd ever had" (but for the love of all that is good and holy how do they treat the subs they don't like? Live sacrifices to the dark ones?)
-fun conversations about tasers over SAT prep math/pre-calc
-discussion of hockey
-Julianne and Napoleon Dynamite references. At least someone thinks I'm funny.
-silent ball (blessed relief)
-my parents on the phone (hilarious)
-conversations (and phone tag) with Scorpion Woman
-hugs from 10 year olds (not in a weird way)
-getting to see Amber
-studying for Med Micro (<3 that class)
-subbing for the Dr. Moore of elementary schools. Single, long hair, weird clothes, pictures of her cats on the wall, a signed poster of a character from Lord of the Rings
-only spending an hour and a half at school today
I've decided that I'm going to start a blog about my adventures in education (that is the educating I'm doing, not the education I'm getting). It will discuss any and all humorous, unbelievable, and mundane details of my employment as a TA, instructor, and substitute teacher, much in the same vein as Waiter Rant or Barmaid Blog deal with the service industry. I'm just waiting to come up with a catchy title/slogan (and and all input is appreciated) so I can begin. It'll be a great way for me to vent.
At the end of the day, when all is said and done, it appears that once again the good has outweighed the bad (though the full/half day thing still makes me twitch) and all is right with the world. If only it felt like that during the beginning and middle of the day. I need to consider myself fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life, excellent opportunities to further my education, and 3 jobs I don't hate (which is a total 180 from that hellhole, I mean bookstore, I used to work at) that pay the bills. There's still this strange inner downer I haven't been able to shake, but after the past couple of years, I've begun to get used to her (my inner downer is a chick. She sits in the darkest corners of my mind, wearing black, listening to Fall Out Boy, while crying and rocking herself. She is emo. lol), but I do wish she'd vacate and make room for Matt Damon. Yum. The downer chick is something I'd love to rid myself of, but I'm not quite ready for the happy pills my mom said I should go for. I'll settle for Mountain Dew ODs instead. Mmm...Mountain Dew AND Matt Damon. My two favorite MDs. *drool*
The other day I was contemplating my (mis)fortunes because I was working on hour 14 at school. I started thinking about how lucky I was to have an amazing support system to get me through what promises to be one of the most difficult few months of my life (hello thesis anyone?). I realized that I've always been able to find the one or two people who are just so awesome and ally myself with them. I had that in grade school, I had it in junior high and high school (thank you for being so good to me when I was such a dork lol ...PS say nothing about the fact that I still am a dork and that dork really means whale penis...you'll ruin the nice thoughts :P I love you!), and I have it now (who else would stay at school with me until 2 in the morning? You're amazing and I don't think you even realize to what extent). I'm not sure what I would have done without it and I'm so glad I never had to find out. Here's to hoping the trend continues.
Driving to school from work, I got to thinking about my job (the subbing one). It's the first "grown-up" job I've had. I think back to some of the subs I had and realize that when I was young, I thought they were so old (and some of them were haha) and then I had that flash of insight telling me that now I'm the old one. It used to be all for one and one for all, us vs. them. And now? I'm them! *sob* I am responsible for anywhere from 20-35 5-18 year olds for hours at a time on a given day. It's insanity. I'm 23. I can't be a grown-up, or have a "real job" (and I suppose I'm really not a grown-up since grown-ups don't call themselves that), but I actually am and do. It's quite disturbing. I am an adult. Being on the other side of that invisible wall is strange. Being a TA never really made me feel like that because it's almost like a transition. Yes, I am their instructor, but I'm also sort of one of them. I take classes from the same professors they do, sometimes we're in the same class (not while I'm teaching them, but I've had a couple of my former students in Parasit and Med Micro), I'm struggling to get through and graduate just like they are, , they're my age (sometimes right down to the day) and it's sometimes hard to differentiate between being their peer and being their instructor, but it's never made me feel so old. Tutoring is easy because they call me Tricia, we work in small groups, we make small talk, etc, and it's almost like we're buddies doing our homework together (except when I make them cry). Subbing is offers nothing of the sort. The call me by my last name (which I'm now JUST learning to respond to) or "teacher" which sends chills down my spine. I must command this level of respect from people who were born when I was in junior high or high school and it's disconcerting. I never really felt like I was an adult until I started subbing. But those days, I feel so old. I can't goof off with them. I can't be their friend. I can't say some of my favorite words (I can't really do that tutoring, but you know...). I can't make small talk. I can't nudge the person sitting next to me and make smart comments about everything and everyone. I have to stand at the front of the room with all eyes on me and try to be as imposing as possible (not always a difficult task for a 6 foot tall woman in heels with a very big voice). I have to be the one to tell them to stop talking and start listening. I have to send them to the office. I have to assign their homework. I have to lock the doors so the bad guys can't get in. I have to wield all power over recess and play time. I have to give them band-aids. I have to comfort them when they cry (unless it was my fault...then NO MERCY...lol jk jk). I have to say "no iPods in class" when all I really want to do is rock out. I have to be the jerk who stops all the fun. I have to call them out by name and make them pull a card. I have to be in charge of their education (if only for a day). Sometimes the responsibility can be a lot to consider. What have I gotten myself in to?
My students (genetics) seem to be pretty fantastic. I had some of them before in genetics, 61, or micro, and they're hardcore awesome. My ATAs are fantastic. I have evil plans to make things go my way. It is all of the good. I'm so glad lab started up this week. I've really missed the TAing part of my life. I'm also absolutely loving my Med Micro class. Of course it's frustrating at times because people won't just answer a freaking question (and Dr. Land won't call on us anymore lol), but Dr. Land is hands down my favorite professor I've ever had. With Dr. Youngblom coming in a close second. He makes the class so much fun, he's an incredible lecturer, and he is so knowledgeable about the subject. Lab was a little lame this week (setting up a PCR, but at least our tube was awesome...props to Amber for that one), but I'm sure it'll pick up, so I'm looking forward to that as well, and I normally hate going to lab. Things on the thesis/research front are sort of blah. I've read a ton of articles (I know I'm close to 20 now, which means only like 40 to go) and I've gotten some of my introduction banged out, but I can't shake the feeling that I'll get to the point where my research doesn't work and all I end up with is an introduction...and maybe materials and methods haha. Let's cross our fingers for results, shall we? I haven't yet heard from any Ph.D. programs, but it's still a bit early, so I haven't given up all hope entirely. However, as a backup plan, because I'm lame and there's a chance I'll not get in anywhere, I've started looking for jobs at JCs and have found a couple that look promising (Cell and Molecular Biology and SF City College...), so I'll probably apply for those as a "just in case I don't get into a Ph.D. program because I'm lame. I've also decided that I could just move to somewhere like Guam, where I'm probably grossly overqualified and just become a doctor because we've decided that an MD from Guam is probably equivalent to an AS from the real US (and yes, that was a joke...more like an MD from Panama or Colombia hahaha).
I apologize for the extensiveness of this blog and commend any and all who have made it through. Off to bed for me. Quiz tomorrow at 8! :)