(no subject)
I really ought to be devasted, but I'm not. I've thought about this alot and....
I am upset that my mother is dead, but then again, I'm not. Our relatioship was getting better, but I don't think Neema could have done anything to completely repair the damage she's caused. I've already forgiven her for when she sheared my hair, but I don't think I can ever forgive her for the nights she kept me up in the basement practicing ballet on our barre, or slaving over homework, or practicing gymnastics...or the nights she would scream at me, telling I'm not good enough for anyone or anything. I can't believe that's going to be last memory I have of my mother...of her screaming at me and punching my face, telling me that my true love doesn't love me.
Anyway....I'm having a fabulous time in New York. I'm not so sure what to get Tony yet, but I don't want to get him something cliche like a watch or a wallet or colonge (pfft. He smells better than any other thing on this p- okay, I'm going to shut up about that now.) I want to get something he'll like, but...something personal. I want it to be really specail....I haven't been the best girlfriend since the earthquake, and he's taken such good care of me. I haven't felt this spoiled in a long time....but secretly, I like getting this much attention everyone once in awhile, but I'd much rather be the one takin care of *him* instead.
I can't wait to give everyone what I got them....especailly the pictures Faye and I had taken for Dad. We went to a professional photographer and dressed almost exactly alike in dance gear. It looks really pretty...and then we had seperate pictures taken. I got this really neat classy looking dress, and I curled my hair, and they had me stand on this stage set/backdrop they had, and it came out really well. I look really pretty in it, and I'm holding a mikestand(I need one of those, really).
And I can't tell what I got you, Faye/Sam/Kenny. Nunuh, you all have to wait.
Well...Dad just came in the room and he's making me go to bed "so you don't get weak, blahblahblah."
Night.
I am upset that my mother is dead, but then again, I'm not. Our relatioship was getting better, but I don't think Neema could have done anything to completely repair the damage she's caused. I've already forgiven her for when she sheared my hair, but I don't think I can ever forgive her for the nights she kept me up in the basement practicing ballet on our barre, or slaving over homework, or practicing gymnastics...or the nights she would scream at me, telling I'm not good enough for anyone or anything. I can't believe that's going to be last memory I have of my mother...of her screaming at me and punching my face, telling me that my true love doesn't love me.
Anyway....I'm having a fabulous time in New York. I'm not so sure what to get Tony yet, but I don't want to get him something cliche like a watch or a wallet or colonge (pfft. He smells better than any other thing on this p- okay, I'm going to shut up about that now.) I want to get something he'll like, but...something personal. I want it to be really specail....I haven't been the best girlfriend since the earthquake, and he's taken such good care of me. I haven't felt this spoiled in a long time....but secretly, I like getting this much attention everyone once in awhile, but I'd much rather be the one takin care of *him* instead.
I can't wait to give everyone what I got them....especailly the pictures Faye and I had taken for Dad. We went to a professional photographer and dressed almost exactly alike in dance gear. It looks really pretty...and then we had seperate pictures taken. I got this really neat classy looking dress, and I curled my hair, and they had me stand on this stage set/backdrop they had, and it came out really well. I look really pretty in it, and I'm holding a mikestand(I need one of those, really).
And I can't tell what I got you, Faye/Sam/Kenny. Nunuh, you all have to wait.
Well...Dad just came in the room and he's making me go to bed "so you don't get weak, blahblahblah."
Night.