(no subject)
it was just one day ago that i was writing about being ready to be in a relationship and being happy and now.. im not so sure. aaron and i have been getting closer. he told me last night that he wants me to come to church with him and meet his friends. he wont even let corri come bc he says it'll be too difficult for me to get well acquainted with his friends the same time he would with my friends :) hes so sweet. theres a problem though. im feeling guilty again.. and AGAIN.. im not doing anything wrong. i talked to gina today who was my sunday school teacher in church throughout hs and as i was telling her about aaron, she cut in and asked about the one person furthest from my mind.. yet closest in my heart. i like aaron, but nothing i dont think will ever compare to the feelings i had the first time i fell in love. this is getting tough and suddenly, i dont think im ready. but i gotta do it. i gotta do it for me. i need to get up, get out, and get over it.. get over him. my feelings are so true and so strong, but its wrong. i've been living in this fantasy world for too long. we're not together for a reason. a reason far beyond distance. its hurts, but i just wanna be happy and he doesnt wanna make me happy so i gotta let go :'(