Love is a Battlefield...
I debated about posting this entry. I know there is going to be a lot of mixed feelings on the subject and possibly even some defensive Dixi. The truth is I already know how I'm handling the situation. Approval is not needed, but acceptance and understanding is welcome.
On Sunday after Charlie had headed back towards Little Rock, I decided to take a nap. I was probably asleep for about an hour when I heard loud banging on my front door. I half-conciously walked down the stairs and answered the door. I opened the door and the man on the other side immediately asked for Shaun. I told him exactly what I knew about where he or his car was (They were Repo men. They'd been by once before. These two were different than the first guy though). Not a darn thing. I have no idea where he lives, stays, sleeps, etc. and I know even less about the car. They gave me their number and left after explaining that if they didn't hear from him this week, they'd see me next weekend. I was a little stressed about this. I just don't want these guys to keep bugging the dogtick out of me if I know as little as they do. I sat awhile and steamed over the fact that my ex absolutely cannot keep himself out of trouble with money, and then I called my roomie (Keri-who introduced us and works with someone who also works with him). She sensed my frustration and volunteered to call their mutual co-worker. She left a message to have him to call HER and that it was VERY IMPORTANT. He called her around ten and was worried about us. She explained to him that it was about his car with which he replied that he was no longer in possession of the car and would call the repo men the next day. He then asked how I was doing and asked to speak to me. I was happy that he'd asked for me first...that Keri didn't have to say "Dixi wants to talk to you..." I took the phone and proceeded to have a fabulous conversation with him. GAWD! You have no idea how much I've missed his voice. We talked about everything from what Bridget Jones called "very scary knickers" which I purchased for a banquet to hold in some of the "wobbly bits" Dixi has acquired over the course of the year to his latest woes with Babymama #2. I'd told him before and reiterated during our conversation that I'm always going to be there for him, which he thanked me for and noted that lately he'd been pretty lonely on the weekends and hadn't really had much to do then. I offered to keep him company and added that if he feels so inclined I am available for dates or whatever else. He laughed as if that made him happy and asked me to e-mail him (it seems to be the best way to get in touch with him as of late). I told him I would and bid him goodbye.
I actually e-mailed him today letting him know what my plans were for this weekend and actually the next, too. I debated on what I should do for a while and made Keri proofread the e-mail before I sent it out. Oh my dahlings! Dixi's a little scared. I definitely think my life is a thousand times better with him in it, in spite of all the drama that he brings to my world. I love him dearly and only want to begin to ease him back into my life. I only want what we can be right now and that's friends. I know what baggage he brings into my life, but I'm willing to welcome him again with open arms because with him he also brings love, compassion, and a deep understanding of the innermost parts of Dixi's heart. I'm a big girl and am going to try not to get involved in the romance of second chances. I love you all. Kiss Kiss my kittens.
On Sunday after Charlie had headed back towards Little Rock, I decided to take a nap. I was probably asleep for about an hour when I heard loud banging on my front door. I half-conciously walked down the stairs and answered the door. I opened the door and the man on the other side immediately asked for Shaun. I told him exactly what I knew about where he or his car was (They were Repo men. They'd been by once before. These two were different than the first guy though). Not a darn thing. I have no idea where he lives, stays, sleeps, etc. and I know even less about the car. They gave me their number and left after explaining that if they didn't hear from him this week, they'd see me next weekend. I was a little stressed about this. I just don't want these guys to keep bugging the dogtick out of me if I know as little as they do. I sat awhile and steamed over the fact that my ex absolutely cannot keep himself out of trouble with money, and then I called my roomie (Keri-who introduced us and works with someone who also works with him). She sensed my frustration and volunteered to call their mutual co-worker. She left a message to have him to call HER and that it was VERY IMPORTANT. He called her around ten and was worried about us. She explained to him that it was about his car with which he replied that he was no longer in possession of the car and would call the repo men the next day. He then asked how I was doing and asked to speak to me. I was happy that he'd asked for me first...that Keri didn't have to say "Dixi wants to talk to you..." I took the phone and proceeded to have a fabulous conversation with him. GAWD! You have no idea how much I've missed his voice. We talked about everything from what Bridget Jones called "very scary knickers" which I purchased for a banquet to hold in some of the "wobbly bits" Dixi has acquired over the course of the year to his latest woes with Babymama #2. I'd told him before and reiterated during our conversation that I'm always going to be there for him, which he thanked me for and noted that lately he'd been pretty lonely on the weekends and hadn't really had much to do then. I offered to keep him company and added that if he feels so inclined I am available for dates or whatever else. He laughed as if that made him happy and asked me to e-mail him (it seems to be the best way to get in touch with him as of late). I told him I would and bid him goodbye.
I actually e-mailed him today letting him know what my plans were for this weekend and actually the next, too. I debated on what I should do for a while and made Keri proofread the e-mail before I sent it out. Oh my dahlings! Dixi's a little scared. I definitely think my life is a thousand times better with him in it, in spite of all the drama that he brings to my world. I love him dearly and only want to begin to ease him back into my life. I only want what we can be right now and that's friends. I know what baggage he brings into my life, but I'm willing to welcome him again with open arms because with him he also brings love, compassion, and a deep understanding of the innermost parts of Dixi's heart. I'm a big girl and am going to try not to get involved in the romance of second chances. I love you all. Kiss Kiss my kittens.