I love being sick
I love being sick. By sick, I don't mean pus spewing out of every orifice on your body or puking up blood every other minute. I mean the cute little fever that you occasionally get that lasts for a day, two at most, and makes you feel like a space heater the entire time. I love it because:
- It makes you cuddly as fuck. Something about being sick just makes you a cuddler. When my ferret came back from the vet tripped up on morphine, I, like a concerned ferret momma, cuddled with him for about an hour. We fell asleep together so it was a pretty solid cuddle session - things ferrets like to do, but never for that long! In this case, Mikel was my victim.
- It forces you to eat healthy. It's a fact that when you have a fever, the XXL burrito chalupa taco thing with extra sour cream or the double beef and bacon angus burger with special mayo on the side just don't seem that appetizing. No, when you're sick, it's all about the smoothies and the grapes. Unlike dieting, in which smelling the grease off of other foods is particularly tempting, sickness makes the smells revolting. What a wonderful weight loss plan.
- You stay in bed ALL DAY LONG. Fortunately, I had just purchased my new bed. This is the first time I've gotten out of bed in two days and I don't even know how to react to the light in my eyes.
- Something about the warmth makes you fuzzy inside. Does it not? Sure, eventually you get SO FUCKING WARM that you just want to streak across the Arctic in your bare flesh, but the points before that are nice and cuddly.
- You get to say, "Why don't you do it? I'm sick." Enough said.