wow. 2005. holy shit buckets...
I suppose this is where I'm supposed to tell everyone how awesome my new years eve was...and what my resolutions are...and reflect back on the previous year...but frankly, I'm too lazy for all of that.
So I'll summarize. 2004 was both good and bad. New Years eve...was uh, a typical drunken new years eve. And my resolutions are more or less the same as they've been for the past 3 years. So now that we have that mumbo jumbo outta the way...
Everything else is going good. My managers are trying to kill me at work though, i swear. I gave away 2 shifts this week and still ended up in overtime. Next week...I work 5 doubles, 1 single shift and I have one day off. I'm going to end up with 50 something hours. Fellow servers feel my pain I'm sure. Oh well, it'll be awesome money.
Bobby and I are good as normal. We have our minor ups and downs, but sometimes I wonder if they are more figments of my imagination.I don't know, I'm reaolly scared lately. I've realized...one of 2 things is going to result from this. I'm either going to get my heart broken...or I'm going to marry the boy. Either option is completely terrifying to me. We've still yet to have a huge blow out, and maybe its just PMS, but I can't help but sense one coming sometime soon. I dont know. I know I'm head over heels in love...and I pray to god he is too... but I'm afraid of making some really stupid decisions.
I'm supposed to move in end of Jan/ beg of Feb...thats when his room mates and him get their new place...and i know after we move in, the chances of us getting engaged and eventually married with kids....is going to be very high. I know I know, its insanely early to be even thinking about all of this...but what step is there after moving in together? Thats it. C'est finis. Thats the last one. Unless you count divorce...but yeah. I can't help but wonder if I'm settling. When you were little you always had these big hopes and dreams about what your future husband would be like...and while 90% of the time i'm stupidly happy with bobby...theres that 10% that wonders what if theres more for me out there. I mean, we're talking the rest of my life here. I don't know. its dumb. I worry wayyyyy too much.
See, if I'm not worried about that, then I'm worried about losing him. So I don't know. Just call me a fuckin walking contradiction. I don't know what I would do if I lost him. I mean, sure I'd go on living, but I don't know. Heh, I can't sleep that well at night without him next to me. Thats how bad this is. Everyone has the way they sleep, and mine is now curled up in his arm or against his back, with my head between his shoulder blades. When he's not there, I just feel weird. So I don't know. I don't want to lose him, I would miss him so much. Argh. So many conflicted emotions. I thought love wasn't supposed to be so difficult.
I don't knowl. I'm becoming one of those disgusting, needy girlfriends. You know, the one who's attached to her boyfriend at the hip. Heh, one of the ones thats "stuck so far up her boyfriends ass she forgot about her own life" as I used to put it....how weird. how gross. argh.
But um yes, Happy 2005 Folks =D
So I'll summarize. 2004 was both good and bad. New Years eve...was uh, a typical drunken new years eve. And my resolutions are more or less the same as they've been for the past 3 years. So now that we have that mumbo jumbo outta the way...
Everything else is going good. My managers are trying to kill me at work though, i swear. I gave away 2 shifts this week and still ended up in overtime. Next week...I work 5 doubles, 1 single shift and I have one day off. I'm going to end up with 50 something hours. Fellow servers feel my pain I'm sure. Oh well, it'll be awesome money.
Bobby and I are good as normal. We have our minor ups and downs, but sometimes I wonder if they are more figments of my imagination.I don't know, I'm reaolly scared lately. I've realized...one of 2 things is going to result from this. I'm either going to get my heart broken...or I'm going to marry the boy. Either option is completely terrifying to me. We've still yet to have a huge blow out, and maybe its just PMS, but I can't help but sense one coming sometime soon. I dont know. I know I'm head over heels in love...and I pray to god he is too... but I'm afraid of making some really stupid decisions.
I'm supposed to move in end of Jan/ beg of Feb...thats when his room mates and him get their new place...and i know after we move in, the chances of us getting engaged and eventually married with kids....is going to be very high. I know I know, its insanely early to be even thinking about all of this...but what step is there after moving in together? Thats it. C'est finis. Thats the last one. Unless you count divorce...but yeah. I can't help but wonder if I'm settling. When you were little you always had these big hopes and dreams about what your future husband would be like...and while 90% of the time i'm stupidly happy with bobby...theres that 10% that wonders what if theres more for me out there. I mean, we're talking the rest of my life here. I don't know. its dumb. I worry wayyyyy too much.
See, if I'm not worried about that, then I'm worried about losing him. So I don't know. Just call me a fuckin walking contradiction. I don't know what I would do if I lost him. I mean, sure I'd go on living, but I don't know. Heh, I can't sleep that well at night without him next to me. Thats how bad this is. Everyone has the way they sleep, and mine is now curled up in his arm or against his back, with my head between his shoulder blades. When he's not there, I just feel weird. So I don't know. I don't want to lose him, I would miss him so much. Argh. So many conflicted emotions. I thought love wasn't supposed to be so difficult.
I don't knowl. I'm becoming one of those disgusting, needy girlfriends. You know, the one who's attached to her boyfriend at the hip. Heh, one of the ones thats "stuck so far up her boyfriends ass she forgot about her own life" as I used to put it....how weird. how gross. argh.
But um yes, Happy 2005 Folks =D