Finally!

[diviner]

I got my freaking Dallas application in! HAHA! No more working on that. But now all I can do is wait. Hm, maybe not so good. I need to get Schiele to draw me something for the cover of my chapbook, but I don't know what to get him to draw. Maybe a guy pushing a shopping cart through a library... That's kinda stupid. But I don't know what to do. Enrique showed me a place I could get it printed for cheap, and apparently a good quality. Sounds good. I need material now. I don't know how large the pages should be. Oh, the agony. So, yeah, I did my sonnet four square assignment and drew and colored a picture. It sucked. My mom tried to console me, my dad told me it sucked. It was really bad. But I also memorized a sonnet, and now I can recite it. Which is cool. But I hate Ms. Holmes. She dies. Roar. Bah, I feel like I've wasted a lot of time. Like if everything I did were condensed, I could be an accomplished two year old and not much else. Such a waste... I need to pull my head out of my ass. I'm freaking dumb. Seems pointless to pick up the pass, a month and a semester and I'm outta here. College is a good time to get hardcore. For now, the path I follow seems to wind into obscurity. Ah, fuck it. I'll make my own. Probably won't go much elsewhere, but at least that way I'll have some individual notoriety. Whatever. I don't wanna play anymore. This isn't working out. Retreat this weekend, maybe the answer's there. We'll see. I'll meditate on it, and see where it takes me. Damnit, where's Clif when I need him? Little bastard after my own heart. I'm just babbling right now.
Lata,
Paul