Back In The Library...
Don't worry ScottyMc my computer is still in working order but it seems to get anything done I need to get out of the room away from the distractions of the internet and downloading music. There's only so much playing on the internet I can do in here before I get bored.
I've been putting a lot of thought into some of the questions I asked myself in my last post. I know it's a little premature to ask these sorts of things, like how am I going to deal with this job she's decided she loves so much when we're not even together... But I love her and am a firm believer that true love will always conquer so... that's what I've been thinking about... I was talking to her on the phone last night at she brought up the subject of being a fire fighter... And she told me that the instructor for her class told all of them that they might as well only date within the same profession because 50% of marriages and relationships end up failing... I don't know if she meant that for me to take as a clue, but I'm going to assume for my own hopeful purposes that it was not and continue... I just don't understand why anyone, no matter what thrill you get from it, would want to put themselves in that kind of danger. No matter what I try or what people tell me to the contrary, I will just never understand it and that's fine considering it's MY opinion. But I've realized that there is a difference between having my opinion, which is against what she wants to do, and being supportive of her even taking my opinions in consideration. Because in my opinion, ham is gross, I don't know how anyone could ever enjoy the taste of ham... But she does, it's just a difference of opinions. And yes, I do realize there is a huge world of difference between liking ham and putting yourself in danger everyday, it's just the general point that I was trying to get across.
So, ok... I can accept that she loves what she does, and I really do think it's great. And I can accept that a lot of her time is going to be sucked into this, and I can accept that there is a certain degree of danger to it. But I can accept all this only if she really understands that she has to be careful and that she has to consider the fact that even though I'm never going to understand the thrill she gets from going on a call, she's never going to understand the fear I have that something's going to happen to her because I can't seem to shake the feeling that we're going to be hanging out or something and she's going to leave and not come back. I'm trying to accept the fact that that IS a possibility and that I'm going to have that fear whether or not we're together but wouldn't I be happier if we were? Or would I be happier distancing myself from her so if that does happen I won't be so crushed... The problem with that is that I would be crushed either way... Plus, with a job that exciting and fulfilling, what's supposed to stand up to that? What could possibly top that kind of thrill to her?
Mer, getting a headache... I'll finish that thought later... I'm so confused!
I've been putting a lot of thought into some of the questions I asked myself in my last post. I know it's a little premature to ask these sorts of things, like how am I going to deal with this job she's decided she loves so much when we're not even together... But I love her and am a firm believer that true love will always conquer so... that's what I've been thinking about... I was talking to her on the phone last night at she brought up the subject of being a fire fighter... And she told me that the instructor for her class told all of them that they might as well only date within the same profession because 50% of marriages and relationships end up failing... I don't know if she meant that for me to take as a clue, but I'm going to assume for my own hopeful purposes that it was not and continue... I just don't understand why anyone, no matter what thrill you get from it, would want to put themselves in that kind of danger. No matter what I try or what people tell me to the contrary, I will just never understand it and that's fine considering it's MY opinion. But I've realized that there is a difference between having my opinion, which is against what she wants to do, and being supportive of her even taking my opinions in consideration. Because in my opinion, ham is gross, I don't know how anyone could ever enjoy the taste of ham... But she does, it's just a difference of opinions. And yes, I do realize there is a huge world of difference between liking ham and putting yourself in danger everyday, it's just the general point that I was trying to get across.
So, ok... I can accept that she loves what she does, and I really do think it's great. And I can accept that a lot of her time is going to be sucked into this, and I can accept that there is a certain degree of danger to it. But I can accept all this only if she really understands that she has to be careful and that she has to consider the fact that even though I'm never going to understand the thrill she gets from going on a call, she's never going to understand the fear I have that something's going to happen to her because I can't seem to shake the feeling that we're going to be hanging out or something and she's going to leave and not come back. I'm trying to accept the fact that that IS a possibility and that I'm going to have that fear whether or not we're together but wouldn't I be happier if we were? Or would I be happier distancing myself from her so if that does happen I won't be so crushed... The problem with that is that I would be crushed either way... Plus, with a job that exciting and fulfilling, what's supposed to stand up to that? What could possibly top that kind of thrill to her?
Mer, getting a headache... I'll finish that thought later... I'm so confused!