When you have no one, no one can hurt you.
I'm trying to move on from recent rejection, so I decided to give in and say 'yes' to a guy who had been asking me out for a while. I never felt any interest in him, which is why I always turned him down, but I decided to consider the possibility that I was being too closed-minded or too picky, so I gave it a shot... and now I see I should have stuck with my gut. We went out to Pita Jungle last night, and during dinner he told me he HATES animals. "Especially dogs." Wow. Hates. Can you say "DATE OVER"? Needless to say, I didn't see a point in progressing with any kind of dating from there, so I paid for my half and went on my way. That may seem like a petty snap decision to a lot of people, but you have to understand where I'm coming from. There are certain red flags I've learned to recognize over the years of dating; red flags that are often a sign of massive egos and disrespect for others. Number one is: hating animals. Animals and nature are above us. In every aspect. If a man can't see that, he must not be very down to Earth. I can't get along with a guy who has an ego like that. I want someone who is humble. HUMBLE. One of my biggest fantasies growing up was being rich enough to buy a mansion and just filling it with beautiful animals. Large dogs, black bunnies, snakes... But more realistically, I plan on getting a little buddy soon! A kitten! So, what am I supposed to do? Call up the guy I'm dating who hates animals and say, "Oh, I've decided to get a cat so we might have to break up now"?? Eh.
Other red flags: Number two: hating homosexuals. Number three: hating women. Number four: being a total Bible thumper. If you fit any of these red flags, we definitely won't get along, so you just can't hang. Move along, please!
I do worry that I expect too much. But I just can't settle. That's not how I was raised. If I think I deserve something better, then I do! But at the same time, my self-esteem is starting to dwindle, and I hate that it's because of the male species. I wish I could say they had no power or effect on me whatsoever. But the truth is; I've never NEVER been treated with love and respect by any significant male in my life. Not my father, not my step father, not any of my boyfriends... even guys at work harass me. So, I think deep down there is still a part of me that craves getting male love and respect and just won't stop until I find it. The feminist in me HATES to admit this, but all I want for Christmas this year is for that one special boy to come into my life and just completely SMOTHER me. But I really hate having to go through the disappointment of dating. Can't I just skip over all of that and ACCIDENTALLY meet the guy I'm supposed to be with and just magically connect with him and have us both understand we are meant to be with each other without having to discuss everything?? Haven't I paid my dues?? At least I'm smart enough to know a relationship is not something that can be forced. I will just have to stay positive, and if it happens, it happens. In the mean time I have more important things I need to focus on.
For now, I am going to sit outside with a glass of wine and have a solo eclipse party all by my lonesome. A TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEEAARRTT! I love being cheesy. Good night!
Other red flags: Number two: hating homosexuals. Number three: hating women. Number four: being a total Bible thumper. If you fit any of these red flags, we definitely won't get along, so you just can't hang. Move along, please!
I do worry that I expect too much. But I just can't settle. That's not how I was raised. If I think I deserve something better, then I do! But at the same time, my self-esteem is starting to dwindle, and I hate that it's because of the male species. I wish I could say they had no power or effect on me whatsoever. But the truth is; I've never NEVER been treated with love and respect by any significant male in my life. Not my father, not my step father, not any of my boyfriends... even guys at work harass me. So, I think deep down there is still a part of me that craves getting male love and respect and just won't stop until I find it. The feminist in me HATES to admit this, but all I want for Christmas this year is for that one special boy to come into my life and just completely SMOTHER me. But I really hate having to go through the disappointment of dating. Can't I just skip over all of that and ACCIDENTALLY meet the guy I'm supposed to be with and just magically connect with him and have us both understand we are meant to be with each other without having to discuss everything?? Haven't I paid my dues?? At least I'm smart enough to know a relationship is not something that can be forced. I will just have to stay positive, and if it happens, it happens. In the mean time I have more important things I need to focus on.
For now, I am going to sit outside with a glass of wine and have a solo eclipse party all by my lonesome. A TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEEAARRTT! I love being cheesy. Good night!