this will all make perfect sense someday.
right now life feels like a pair of wet socks.
i know that people love me, atleast they say that they do. but i feel like words can only say so much. i dont see alot of this "love" put into action. and i am a see it to believe it kind of girl. i need to be able to see it and feel it to know its real.
i used to sleep with some kind of light on in my room at night. but i dont anymore. all i want is to be left alone in silence and complete dark. for days maybe. and i want nobody to knock or speak to me. i need to be alone.
i feel like i have no idea who i am anymore.
when we are together i feel higher than a kite, and happier than any girl has ever been.
but the second that you leave - i am lower than low.
yesterday i took my nose ring out. and today i cant get it back in. its petty - but it kind of bothers me. and i guess that if i cant get it back in, then its a done deal. anyway its not the facial piercings that make the girl after all.
i need to revaluate my mind. and learn to let go. learn to sit up straight. learn to look around more often. and learn to forgive. babysteps tho. and as for right now. i just want to be by myself.
(sorry if this post annoyed you - after all its the inner workings of my emotions and to a complete jerk may seem like mindless ramble. but after all it is my journal.)