i dont understand, i cant comprehend. Shes dead.
I never actually tried to understand the concept of death.
I thought I had everything figured out, once a person dies they go to heaven. Today I witnessed my great grandma fight for her last breathe.
She was in a small but comforting room with pictures of her family all over the place, the blanket someone made for her out of her late daughter's old t-shirts holding rosaries given to her by the priest this morning. She was taking short, shallow breathes every 12 to 15 seconds. I did want to believe her soul was departing her body. At 2:36 she took her last breathe. She looked so peaceful. Like she was only asleep, she didnt fight it but once. Her pulse on her hands couldnt be found 20 minutes before; they were already ice cold. The coldness from her limbs slowly crept through her entire body as time quickly passed. But her pulse on her neck stopped, and then beated three more times when vince said "grandma, just let go" while he was crying holding her hand. She listened.
I looked at her body, laying in the bed. It didnt look any different then if she were sleeping. I couldnt comprehend it. I cant understand it. Shes dead. Hundreds of questions kept running around in my head. Silence has never been so loud. Vince walked out side for fresh air, and he stood at the door entrance crying, i hugged him and we both stood there crying without saying a word to each other; we both knew what each other was thinking. When i went back in the room, I couldnt sense my prior fear any more. I prayed for her, held her hand, and carresed her soft skin. I cried, i wished i only had more time to know her, it wasnt fair. SHe lived in Arizona and i only got to see her 2 weeks before she died. We opened the window to free her soul. We keep saying shes in a better place, but its so hard to look at her body and make myself understand... there's no life.
I thought I had everything figured out, once a person dies they go to heaven. Today I witnessed my great grandma fight for her last breathe.
She was in a small but comforting room with pictures of her family all over the place, the blanket someone made for her out of her late daughter's old t-shirts holding rosaries given to her by the priest this morning. She was taking short, shallow breathes every 12 to 15 seconds. I did want to believe her soul was departing her body. At 2:36 she took her last breathe. She looked so peaceful. Like she was only asleep, she didnt fight it but once. Her pulse on her hands couldnt be found 20 minutes before; they were already ice cold. The coldness from her limbs slowly crept through her entire body as time quickly passed. But her pulse on her neck stopped, and then beated three more times when vince said "grandma, just let go" while he was crying holding her hand. She listened.
I looked at her body, laying in the bed. It didnt look any different then if she were sleeping. I couldnt comprehend it. I cant understand it. Shes dead. Hundreds of questions kept running around in my head. Silence has never been so loud. Vince walked out side for fresh air, and he stood at the door entrance crying, i hugged him and we both stood there crying without saying a word to each other; we both knew what each other was thinking. When i went back in the room, I couldnt sense my prior fear any more. I prayed for her, held her hand, and carresed her soft skin. I cried, i wished i only had more time to know her, it wasnt fair. SHe lived in Arizona and i only got to see her 2 weeks before she died. We opened the window to free her soul. We keep saying shes in a better place, but its so hard to look at her body and make myself understand... there's no life.