Like Zorro
It looks like I'm going to be interviewing Giles Coren - food critic, novelist, son-of-Alan and not!Gordon Ramsay star of The F-Word - about his forthcoming movie show sometime this week. As part of my extensive preparation, I came across a link to the passage of his novel that got him nominated for the Bad Sex in Fiction Award (which he later won, despite stiff competition from the likes of Ben Elton, Salman Rushdie and Paul Theroux). It seemed foolish not to click on it:
And he came hard in her mouth and his dick jumped around and rattled on her teeth and he blacked out and she took his dick out of her mouth and lifted herself from his face and whipped the pillow away and he gasped and glugged at the air, and he came again so hard that his dick wrenched out of her hand and a shot of it hit him straight in the eye and stung like nothing he'd ever had in there, and he yelled with the pain, but the yell could have been anything, and as she grabbed at his dick, which was leaping around like a shower dropped in an empty bath, she scratched his back deeply with the nails of both hands and he shot three more times, in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro.
I really, really want to ask him if his favourite film is Zorro. Really. Damn professionalism.
In other news, I can't stop staring at my new layout, which is shiny and pretty and further evidence that zoetrope totally rocks. Not that there was ever much doubt...
And he came hard in her mouth and his dick jumped around and rattled on her teeth and he blacked out and she took his dick out of her mouth and lifted herself from his face and whipped the pillow away and he gasped and glugged at the air, and he came again so hard that his dick wrenched out of her hand and a shot of it hit him straight in the eye and stung like nothing he'd ever had in there, and he yelled with the pain, but the yell could have been anything, and as she grabbed at his dick, which was leaping around like a shower dropped in an empty bath, she scratched his back deeply with the nails of both hands and he shot three more times, in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro.
I really, really want to ask him if his favourite film is Zorro. Really. Damn professionalism.
In other news, I can't stop staring at my new layout, which is shiny and pretty and further evidence that zoetrope totally rocks. Not that there was ever much doubt...