(no subject)
This thing exists.
Hi.
Its 11:46pm on a Monday night and I've been on the verge of crying all day. Allergies are high, so I am stuffed and miserable. My stomach/abdomen area has been doing this thing for the last four days where I'll wake up in the early morning and it hurts to breathe deep, there's so much pressure, like I'll pop any second and honestly at this point I'd rather it just *do that* so I don't have to think about it anymore.
I decided and announced last night that I will save my tax refund and put it toward a vacation to visit friends in another country but now I am having second thoughts and doubts about whether its a good idea, what if it would just be too much trouble, what if I'm still this hideous bloated thing, I'm just stupid for putting so much effort into it when nothing is going to come of it anyway.
I thought I was getting better, I've been trying, I really have been trying so hard, but I'm not.
I'm worried that I never will and I still can't be motivated enough to care to do anything about it.
So that's that.