Frustration with the stars

Oct 17, 2005 23:56

I must take a break from my Astronomy chart. I wish I had not put it off until now.

I have found Polaris, Aldebaran, and Rigel and their major star systems but I cannot for the life of me find Vega. It should be so simple. It’s the fifth brightest star in the sky, is it not? It certainly can’t be that hard to find.

It is part of Fidis, I know that to be true and it should be right next to Deneb the Swan and Altair and it’s not and I can’t figure out which system that one is next to and I know it’s part of the Summer Triangle which should be clearly visible given it is still summer in the Northern Hemisphere…

And I basically broke up with Blaise tonight.

I don’t know what I was thinking.

His uncle is dead and I’m making him fret about me which is completely selfish but hey, that is how I am, right? I have always been about myself and getting my fair share of guys and I’m just so bloody stupid and I seriously need to get back to my Astronomy chart.

So, right, Vega? Why can’t I find it? The bloody fifth brightest star and I can’t find it and…

And why did I suddenly get so frustrated and upset about Blaise being Blaise. I used to never think twice about who he was flirting with or the silent gropings he had in the dark corners of Hogwarts with such-and-such.

I’m afraid Smith’s comment last Friday affected me more than I would have liked. It’s amazing how much thinking you do while dusting large tomes, scratching and scrubbing off the ink from the tables, and going through files and files of several wizarding families only to realise that they aren’t all really that different. (Besides the Weasley’s. You are quite the unique family.)

Maybe I should just move on to Boötes the Herdsman. I hope I…yea, I did find Arcturus. I am not sure when I did that because I could have sworn I had only found those other three and I guess if maybe I found the fourth brightest star I’m certain to find the fifth…

I give up. I obviously am in no mind to do this bloody chart. The stars seem so trivial when everything seems to be falling apart around you but then you think about it and your problems seem so trivial to the stars. They are essentially huge gas giants that are positioned just so to change the outcome of your day or your life. They are believed to tell the future, the past, and the present all at one time. How can we study and put so much faith into huge unstable balls of gas that simply shine beams of light?

What If the reason I fail to find Vega is because Vega is no more.

It simply burst as all stars are meant to do; the stars simply reminding us that all good things must come to an end.
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