everything in the universe is unstable
how long has it been since i have used my days thinking about who and who has not updated their livejournal? times have changed. people have changed. have i changed? have i become better, have i become a shadow of what i was. there are many concious abilities i have lost, though many i have gained. many relationships i had relied on years ago have been tested, crumbled, or become stronger. this is what time does to my spirit- makes me question and learn and doubt. how often do other people experience the same obstacles that my mind hurdles day in and day out? do others bodies experience sharp pains for no particular reason, overnight changes of heart, or such immense amounts of love that i still have not figured out how to handle. how many people believe that they are a walking contradiction? how many people act in the complete opposite from what their heart believed so strong the evening before? am i truley happy, uncontrollably sad, or inevitably confused. for life? for now? for what? have i ever really been deteremined, or am i determined now and just dont know it? i love who i am, though there are so many things i wish i could change. i stagger. i torture. i love.