Getting Better
Well here I am, a full time student at a rather serious school, and things are getting better all the time. Not constantly, perhaps; but often enough to manage the predictable ebbs and flows atop the deeper pattern.
I must admit, the first few weeks of class were crazy. I had even more homework than expected, and I was still working too much to handle it. My flimsy excuse for sleep patterns was altogether shot, and sleep deprivation was making me restless, cranky and borderline retarded at times. However, I had the good fortune of arranging an even shorter work route, starting this week, and it's made a world of difference. I still get up at 3 am and I work five days a week now, but only four hours a day. This is PERFECT for me, with my afternoon classes, because I truly prefer to sleep twice a day. I'm still busy, but it's manageable. About halfway through this week, I started getting really hyper because I felt truly alert and functional. I've relaxed a bit, now that I've realized what's happening. I feel better physically and mentally than I ever have in my life.
I'm delightfully surprised that I can easily afford working only twenty hours a week. In fact, I could quit working altogether if I really, really needed to. I'm doing better financially than I ever have in my life, except for a brief stretch after my father's inheritance. I have lots of money in the bank-- including the student loans I decided to take, as a sort of insurance-- and I've absolutely no desire to spend it on frivolous or irrational things. I may get a vehicle, and/or laser my eyes, but I'm in no hurry to make big financial decisions.
I really like my new work route, too. I deliver most of the drugs for the main hospital here in Savannah. It's an important and physically heavy route that nobody else wants. It's almost enough exercise for my tastes, and I have enough time now to get to the gym, if I really want to. My main goal this weekend, though, is to make it to beach volleyball on Sunday if possible. :D
I have three classes: art history, drawing and 2D design. I love all of them, basically, although my art history teacher is pompous, condescending and unreasonable in her expectations of new students. She seems a kinda sad person and I feel sorry for her. She focuses too much on rote memorization, which admittedly does have a place in formal history studies. She overdoes it to the point that I-- who rarely, if ever, got less than an A on anything he studied for-- got only an 85.6% on her first test, and that was the highest grade in the class. There were only two other Bs, and she said the other class did even worse. That's not appropriate. I was still working too much, at the time of that test, but I studied pretty much. Not quite as much as planned; and if I'd done so, I just might have squeaked out a low A; but that's just ridiculous. It's her strict and somewhat inconsistent grading system as much as the material itself. If it keeps up, I and others may need to share our concerns with higher authorities. I do realize each teacher is allowed to have personal standards, but the degree is certainly debatable.
Okay, rant over. ;) My drawing teacher is okay-- and exceptionally nice-- and my 2d design teacher is awesome. Already one of my favorite people ever. The assignments have been challenging and inspiring. My drawing has improved significantly, as has my critical thought and general mental function.
I feel more sociable than I ever have before. I guess this was predictable, but it's still amazing, and slightly disturbing. I'm a bit afraid I may lose some distinctive attributes if I get too comfortable and used to conventional social tendencies. I have much to gain, however. I like almost all the students I know, and several of them are very interesting. I still have trouble making the leap from talking before, during or after class to doing stuff outside of school. This is from fear of inappropriate attachments, perhaps almost as much as insecurity. If things keep going so well, though, I may be able to cross all sorts of bridges. Perhaps I'll still essentially be me, but greatly enriched and enlivened. I don't know. My brain is changing, and all kinds of things can happen.
So basically, I love my school, my work and my home, and I'm practically realizing the dream I had when I decided to go to college in 2005. But the dream's getting better all the time, and I don't know where I'm going.