(Untitled)

[isnot_theworst]

Who: Yoshino, Masaru
What: It had been a year, today...
When: June 21st
Where: Royal Base

Comments

[kenkabanchou]

Masaru.. well. Didn't feel better. Though, he appreciated what Nanoha had said and done... even if it did nothing to change matters, that there were friends willing to do that around here...

It was comforting. But he knew he had to take that last part of her advice, and was returning to his home. Agumon was ... elsewhere in the base. Masaru hadn't even needed to say anything; Agumon had made himself scarce from the moment the street fighter was on his feet that day.

And he came in, just as Yoshino was preparing to go out.

He blinked a bit. "...ah, heh. Uh, hey..."

[isnot_theworst]

Yoshino's eyes widened when she saw Masaru. She turned her head away, and... looked to the side.

"Hi," she said, zipping up her jacket. "I was just... going for a walk. There's some leftovers in the fridge... if you're hungry I mean..."

[kenkabanchou]

He looked at her a second, and then frowned, scratching the side of his head.

"Yoshino..." he started. "...we don't... have to avoid this, you know..."

[isnot_theworst]

"Masaru..."

Yoshino looked up, and sighed.

"I'm not avoiding it. I just... I..."

She turned away. "I'm not sure how to say this..."

[kenkabanchou]

Masaru sighed mildly, and stepped towards her, reaching out towards her shoulder.

"Yoshino, come on. We've both said there's nothing we can't talk about..."

[isnot_theworst]

Yoshino sucked in a deep breath.

"The other night... hell, more than just the other night... for a while now... I haven't been in Neon, looking for that murderer. I've been trying to find Neon, Kurata... any trace of them, I..."

Her hands shook.

"I've been trying to find them so I can make them... make them pay for..."

[kenkabanchou]

There was a good part of that which... scared, Masaru, pretty much instantly. He didn't doubt Yoshino's ability to defend herself, but... what had happened a year ago was a product of her going off by herself. It was an unexpected, unforeseen situation, of course. They couldn't have known, regardless, but knowing what they were capable of... what they had DONE to her...

He reached out around her, trying to grab her hands.

"Yoshino, I..." he sighed, and then just reached out to hug her. "I... understand, I really do... I know that feeling... I'm fighting it every day..."

[isnot_theworst]

"I've been fighting it too," she said, shaking as she took his hand. "And letely... lately, I go to sleep, and I see... I see her. The girl from what Wisemon showed me... and she gets farther away... farther away until..."

She sobbed, clinging to him.

"I know I can go on, I just... I just can't stop feeling like I let her down... I know we have Sayu, but... she'll never change the fact that... that... that I lost her..."

[kenkabanchou]

That vision, of course, Masaru knew... was just a vision. Wisemon couldn't predict the future. Right? But, it was also one he hadn't seen... try as he might, it was something that he couldn't connect with her on. Not... fully. He hadn't experienced it, and he had no idea how real it may have felt for her.

He just hugged her for a moment, stroking her hair.

"I know that... it's not something we're ever going to be able to replace, Yoshino. We created something wonderful, and it got taken from us... But... you had no control over what happened... there's no one here that would ever blame you for it..."

He hugged her tighter. "Knowing what could have been though, and what we could have some day... even if it doesn't replace what we lost... that's all the more reason for us to keep fighting even harder, to protect what we love and cherish now and not take it for granted..."

[isnot_theworst]

Yoshino buried her face in his chest as she listened to his words. She knew he was right... it wasn't a deep down feeling either... it was something that was always on her mind, and contrary to what she was doing now, and had been for several days.

"I know," she said, quietly. "And... and I'm sorry for... doing what I did..."

[kenkabanchou]

"It's okay," he muttered. "It's all right... It's not like I don't understand the feeling... or haven't done it myself..."

He remembered when he had ran off looking for her. Or all the times he had nearly let his anger get to him... only to have his own brand of communication being put straight in his face to knock him out of it.

"I just- ...I don't want you to walk into something... go looking for something that could..."

He couldn't even really finish his sentence, and just clung to her, resting his chin on the top of her head.

[isnot_theworst]

"... I won't," she said, feeling ashamed. "I just... hrn, I really messed up, didn't I?"

[kenkabanchou]

"No," he muttered, "I mean... I don't blame you, I understand it... I've wanted to do it more times than I care to count, myself... But if we let ourselves be consumed by it... we'll never be able to actually live our lives. The thought of making them pay, stopping them however I can... it crosses my mind every single day. I don't think we would be human if we didn't... and I wouldn't be much of a man if I didn't want to deal with those responsible with my own two hands... But if that's my only drive, if it's all I focus on... I'm going to be as miserable as Kurata wants me to be. And I won't let him have that victory. Not ever."

[isnot_theworst]

Yoshino slowly nodded, and tightened her arms around him.

"... At the very least," she said, "he's never had that satisfaction... and if... if he ever tries this again, we'll stop him..."

She sighed heavily.

"Thank you, Masaru, for... trusting me, and believing in me, and..."

[kenkabanchou]

Masaru smiled sadly, and rubbed her back gently. "I always will. No matter what. We've got our whole lives ahead of us, and I'm never gonna let anything those bastards have done ruin that."

[isnot_theworst]

Yoshino nodded again, and pulled away.

"... I... I really needed that," she said quietly. "Um. So... yeah, heh..."

She rubbed the back of her head. "I still want to go for a walk... you want to come with me?"