let me introduce myself cubaaaa
Well my birthday is in 4 days!! Unfortuantly I think that there is something wrong with me. I lost something. I dont know when I lost it but i definatly lost "it." I go through these little "phases" if you could even call it that where all my drive and ambition and excitment for life goes on major vacation. Right now & for the past couple days I just really have been searching for my "excitment." I cant find it. This has been happening to be alot recently. Maybe its part of growing up or getting older. You loose your passion for life, your passion for doing. I also think it has alot to do with the lack of sleepage I've been getting. I just wish I had that drive again. I also think that my allure for the future has been dwindling because I lack in the 'goals' department. Ever since I was a little chica I've always had like 800 goals and every day I would add on some more so I was always excited for tomarrow. Now I feel like Im just going through each day, letting all the time go by, not doing nething about it bc I am truly too tired to think. That sucks I wish it was like 3 years ago, I was cool back then. I set some goals for myself today but i dunno like why am I not excited for my birthday, or for the week in the city. Like a couple months ago I would be going crazy but I can truley tell u that Im really not that excited. Maybe I will be as the time approaches ya know. Hopefully. I like birthdays & cake.
Well besides all this depressing crap I had the best weekend (or may I say best Sunday) I've had in a very long time. Being able to drive (or having friends that can drive) is sucha huge thing, its so freeing and fun! Friday I skipped the city and hung out with Adriana which is always a fun time. I love to sleep in her bed its so comfy and I always have the best sleep's. Woke up the next morning and we cooked French Toast which was soooo good!! Ugh I can taste it now! Yumm! Then I had to drag my sorry ass to dance in White Plains which sucked bc its dumb. Then I went bck to Aje's house and we drove around alott then hung out with Kaitlin and Rachel. I slept home that night which I guess was a good thing because I needed to be able to sleep in my own bed for once. Then it was Sunday!! Which was the most gorgeous day in the entire world!!! It was sooo beautiful, perfect temp too! Not to hott not to cold! Went out with Adriana cleaned her car then picked up Kait and went to Starbucks in Yorktown and sat outside, it was so lovely. Then we got some food, danced in the car, and then went to Aje's to eat our Friendlys. I just love being with my friends especially on beautiful relaxing days. I think thats why I forgot about my history essay bc I totally forgot about all those little unimportant society-induced things and I was just with the people who truley matter letting the sun soak into my skin. It was just the most beautiful day. I love being with my friends I truley do.
Kaitlin and Adriana are my best friends. I love them with all my heart I truley do. I know sometimes we have our scuffles but I figured out why. Were not best friends anymore were sisters (and I know that sounds all mushy and Hallmark cardy) but its sooo true. We get on our nerves like sisters and we tell eachother the truth like sisters. I love them so much I really do. They are so precious to me. I apoliguize if i forget it sometimes or if it seems like I ever take either one of you for granted. Life can take a hold of you sometimes and lifes a bitch. All I know is that your friends are the only things that really matter in life and if your lucky enough to have a best friend (or 2!!) cherish it because alot of people dont have true honest friends that they can really rely on. Im so lucky.
Today was one of those days at school that you feel like you just wanna leave so bad. I couldnt take it anymore I hate it there I really do. All i could think about in school today was Sunday and how beautiful freedom is. I dont think school should be a place where you feel like your in a jail. Thats not school. Im not going to complain about high school anymore because before I know it it will be over and I will be talking about how I miss it so much. This is the worst age to be. I dont want to grow up. I want to be young again. Im scared to not live at home, what does it feel like not to live with your parents? Ehh..lets not think about it
I think I know why I havent been excited to go to the city latley. I've really just wanted to hang out with my friends. I love them they are the best friends. I love Alyi Alyi and Tarrface and Woosey Pussy and Lil Bird.<33 They are my loves! Okay well I best go because this is a crazy long entry and if ne1 survived reading all the way down here then wow..Okay Till Later...<3