blah.
I'm going to try to make this the least mellow-dramatic as possible, but you do know who's lj you're reading right?
You all know the Steven saga- year in progress this Sunday. I guess I could best describe my relationship with Steven as a roller coaster- very high highs, and horrible lows.
If you can recall, he finally told me he loved me about a month ago. He went into this big speech about how he never thought he could be happy with just one person, how he thought his ideals could never match up to what someone could give, but then he met me and it changed his perception. He said that he believes people can be happy after 60 years of marriage, can still hold hands and look at each other adoringly. (This kept on for a good 15 minutes or so)
It felt good, it felt like my labors and my patience had finally paid off.
Things have been good since, we've been seeing each other about twice a week, but hadn't slept with eachother or anything close.
Thanksgiving comes and I don't hear from him, in fact, I haven't heard from him in a week aside from the 2 texts I've sent which he's responded to.
So I'm looking on myspace today in an effort to avoid writing my paper and come across his profile. Of course I look to see who's been commenting or whatever. Nothing looks particularly suspicious, but there is a 23 year old female who's been writing on his wall and there's tons of comments left on his pictures from other girls.
I don't know, I can't help but to feel like the fool in this situation. He told me he had a page, but it wasn't until I looked at the page that reality hit me in the face- he's still communicating with other girls.
I feel like I'm in a bad space again, I need some stability. There's nothing more that I want than to feel the way I did before I feel in love for the first time...back before Jon when my heart was whole. I was getting back there, but then I met Steven. I just feel like my lovelife has been full of disappointment for the last 2, almost 3 years. Can't a girl get a break?
Anyway, here's Steven's page if you're interested in taking a peek. Have a look, tell me what you think:
www.myspace.com/bluetrainmd
You all know the Steven saga- year in progress this Sunday. I guess I could best describe my relationship with Steven as a roller coaster- very high highs, and horrible lows.
If you can recall, he finally told me he loved me about a month ago. He went into this big speech about how he never thought he could be happy with just one person, how he thought his ideals could never match up to what someone could give, but then he met me and it changed his perception. He said that he believes people can be happy after 60 years of marriage, can still hold hands and look at each other adoringly. (This kept on for a good 15 minutes or so)
It felt good, it felt like my labors and my patience had finally paid off.
Things have been good since, we've been seeing each other about twice a week, but hadn't slept with eachother or anything close.
Thanksgiving comes and I don't hear from him, in fact, I haven't heard from him in a week aside from the 2 texts I've sent which he's responded to.
So I'm looking on myspace today in an effort to avoid writing my paper and come across his profile. Of course I look to see who's been commenting or whatever. Nothing looks particularly suspicious, but there is a 23 year old female who's been writing on his wall and there's tons of comments left on his pictures from other girls.
I don't know, I can't help but to feel like the fool in this situation. He told me he had a page, but it wasn't until I looked at the page that reality hit me in the face- he's still communicating with other girls.
I feel like I'm in a bad space again, I need some stability. There's nothing more that I want than to feel the way I did before I feel in love for the first time...back before Jon when my heart was whole. I was getting back there, but then I met Steven. I just feel like my lovelife has been full of disappointment for the last 2, almost 3 years. Can't a girl get a break?
Anyway, here's Steven's page if you're interested in taking a peek. Have a look, tell me what you think:
www.myspace.com/bluetrainmd