Researching My Freak Nation
Some questions for all y'all my beloved gentle freaks: be you nerds/geeks of any stripe, gamers, Rennies, goths, steampunk, kinky, poly, Pagan or other "alternative" spirituality, trans, queer, bi/gay/les, burner, spinner...you get my drift
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* 3 or more cons (New England Intercon, IMA, Arisia, Double Exposure in NJ)
* 3 or more festivals (FSA Beltane, FSG, Mythical Journeys; I'd also like to go back to Rites of Spring, if only it weren't 2 weeks before FSG)
* I haven't been to any concerts in quite a while, though, where we're living, I'd love to be able to get to at least one a year.
* Club nights: Teem used to go to ManRay in Boston for kink night at least a few times a year -- until ManRay closed. We hadn't connected with Providence or other Boston club nights before Teem lost his job, and at that point we stopped even trying to connect.
* I haven't been to live theatre in ages. I'd love to once again get to at least once live performance per year (preferably at least 1 theatre, 1 opera and 1 ballet), but I haven't gone out at that level in years -- basically since I was seriously seeing someone in NYC and so had someone to attend with
* I think that, between Teem and I, we used to attend at least 6-10 parties a year.
2) I haven't needed to pay for a festival in years, because I volunteer at them. I'm not sure how much Rites of Spring is charging now, but I think it's upwards of $300/person; I'd love to go back, but honestly price is an issue. I think most cons I go to cost about $25 for registration, but that doesn't include hotel cost, travel, etc. (Even there, I ran the Con Suite at the NE Intercon for years, so I never paid for that con, either.) Theatre ... in general I'll only buy orchestra seats, so that's what, about $100 these days? Good seats at the opera are even more, so I'd often try to get tickets for a Family Circle box (if they were available).
I generally expect to spend more at events because of shopping at vendors, buying additional food or drink, etc. (In fact, one reason I haven't gone to Arisia in a few years is that it's the thing I love most of being there; without having money to spend, it's not worth going.) If I'm staying at a hotel with a restaurant or room service, I'll usually get at least one nice big breakfast while I'm there. At the opera or ballet, I'll plan on getting at least one drink during every intermission and one sandwich during the night.
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If I think something is/is likely to be a once-in-a-lifetime event, I'll make the effort to get the ticket and go. Examples: Deborah Polaski singing Elektra at the Met; Kiri Te Kanawa in Arabella during what was likely her last year at the Met; Helen Mirren in A Month in the Country (I had to look that up -- I tend to think of it as some sappy Russian play) at the Roundabout in NYC, since she rarely does theatre here; Diana Rigg as Medea; Barry Tuckwell in concert in Binghampton when I was at Cornell; the Police's Synchronicity tour while I was at Cornell (slept in a bus station overnight for that one).
I'll go to something (theatre, concert, etc.) a bit less once-in-a-lifetime if it looks amazing and I have plenty of cash to spend on it. I'm much more likely to go if someone is willing to go with me. If someone else is paying, I'll go to nearly any event that I have opportunity to attend.
In the past (i.e., when I made a lot of money while working at a law firm) I actually had a subscription to the Met for a couple of years. That was wonderful, especially since it brought me to operas I'd likely have not gone to otherwise. The only down side was when I'd have to miss an opera because of work deadlines.
I'd love to say that I make it a priority to get to events that friends are performing in, but I'm being honest here -- I haven't actually done that. The things that hold me back from attending performances in general (money, distance, time, etc.) have been just as likely to hold me back from going to things friends have been in as from any other performance.
For other events (cons, festivals, etc.) a lot depends on who's presenting, who else is going, where the event is and how much it'll cost to go/stay there.
If something's free (parties are the most obvious), the most notable factors are cost to get there, the location/travel time (those two factors explain why I never got to one of your 4th of July parties -- they were high quality/priority in every other way, but the combination of cost, distance and, often, work schedule kept me from making the trip) and surrounding commitments/events (i.e. work, needing to leave for FSG in a few days, etc.).
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What's gotten in a way of my having a good time or has led to my deciding not to go back ... poor planning on the part of an event organizer. I once went to an event (that will remain nameless) that the organizer had a wonderful vision of -- but she wasn't so good at making the vision into reality. Break-out-group leaders were given less-than-adequate instruction in how their group members should be contributing to the large rituals; the pre-ritual prep was long and not well planned and, worst of all, the organizer seemed to have no idea of how long various things would take. We were an hour behind after the first morning event -- there were 3 more timeslots and 2 meals before the main ritual! I can't remember how far behind we were by the main ritual, especially since I was completely fried by the time we were done with dinner and decided to just go to my tent to sleep. I know the organizer wasn't pleased by that, but I didn't really care. Thankfully, I'd befriended some awesome people who were totally supportive of me, and I think may have done the same. It didn't help that the event was in a river/brook/creek-free space in West Virginia in August, without any air-conditioned spaces.
So, um, I'm not all that fond on hard-camping events at locations without outdoor water (pools, swimmable lakes, rivers, etc.).
My obstacles to having a good time ... the biggest one is probably feeling like I don't belong someplace. If I'm not able to connect with people, I'm likely to be miserable and probably won't come back. The way I've gotten around that, from time to time, is by working in the kitchen -- I'll gladly cook for an event, have minimal social contact, and still have a wonderful time because I was cooking.
Sorry to be so wordy -- I hadn't realized this would be so complex an answer!
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