My thought: I want to stab myself
I hate it here. SIMPLE!
this is boring, the music sucks ( sometimes) the artistic director doesnt know what hes doing.
Im just tired being here.
People talk way too much shit. Im in the middle of no where.
I feel like ... Lost in the jumble half the time like im forgotten until the last second.
There are no gay men here ( my age) not like that really matter cause if there were I'd probably hate them too.
You know, I got a random coment from some person I dont know asking me if a have anything better to do than hate.
I dont think I really am hateful of all these things I listed so much as aggravated and pissed off at the frustration these things cause me.
There are too many old people.
I have no one to talk to.
So here Iam in my shit smelling bug infested dorm room wondering what exactly there is to learn from this experience ( which im sure there is SOMETING... I just havent figured it out yet)
I got a fortune cookie today that said "All the effort you are making will ultimately pay off."
I hope this is true.....
Im lonely. ( not like thats new)
I complain too much.
I but I always feel lacking. and it never is anything I can control. Im the type of person that if their is something to keep under control, I can make that happen. But in the course of my life Ive found that you can't control other people. The attempt is futile.
I can't communicate very well. I mumble,I say dumb things, I say.....
you know what... Im just making this shit up... I can't really figure out why people don't like me, why people forget I exist and I hafta claw my way to "the top" yada yada.
This is too weird. And to think I was HAPPY to be here. I think I might go to that busted pizza joint again. casue Im REALLY bored. and REALLY lonely. This is so sad.
Please dont read this entry anymore.....
in fact Ill just stop typing... this is too much to make you suffer with me.
I leave you to your thoughts.
PL&HS
_J
this is boring, the music sucks ( sometimes) the artistic director doesnt know what hes doing.
Im just tired being here.
People talk way too much shit. Im in the middle of no where.
I feel like ... Lost in the jumble half the time like im forgotten until the last second.
There are no gay men here ( my age) not like that really matter cause if there were I'd probably hate them too.
You know, I got a random coment from some person I dont know asking me if a have anything better to do than hate.
I dont think I really am hateful of all these things I listed so much as aggravated and pissed off at the frustration these things cause me.
There are too many old people.
I have no one to talk to.
So here Iam in my shit smelling bug infested dorm room wondering what exactly there is to learn from this experience ( which im sure there is SOMETING... I just havent figured it out yet)
I got a fortune cookie today that said "All the effort you are making will ultimately pay off."
I hope this is true.....
Im lonely. ( not like thats new)
I complain too much.
I but I always feel lacking. and it never is anything I can control. Im the type of person that if their is something to keep under control, I can make that happen. But in the course of my life Ive found that you can't control other people. The attempt is futile.
I can't communicate very well. I mumble,I say dumb things, I say.....
you know what... Im just making this shit up... I can't really figure out why people don't like me, why people forget I exist and I hafta claw my way to "the top" yada yada.
This is too weird. And to think I was HAPPY to be here. I think I might go to that busted pizza joint again. casue Im REALLY bored. and REALLY lonely. This is so sad.
Please dont read this entry anymore.....
in fact Ill just stop typing... this is too much to make you suffer with me.
I leave you to your thoughts.
PL&HS
_J