(no subject)

[ditzygina]

if i dropped dead right here, right now, no one would care. i hate evryone and everyone hates me and thats just the way it is and i cant say that i actually give a crap because i dont and i cant pretend like i dont see it. im tired of trying to make everything still work, thinking that i can keep the past alive but i cant and there's no use in even trying. theres no use in anything anymore, the world is a joke, a pointless test if we are never supposed to "go to hell" and that we can only "wait in purgatory" to enter paradice. so why dont we do whatever we want? so many of us do anyway. i could get everything ive always wanted and it wouldnt matter how i got it. even though this sounds totally machiavellian and im a "Catholic" he makes sense. im a "selfish, colod-hearted, insane, sadistic bitch" and i intend to stay that way. after all, who have i got to change for? friends? what friends? no one gives a crap. family? like they really know what goes on. God? is there even a God? you see, after everything there is only yourself in the end, and thats the one person who you listen to.

oh! and by the way, im not pregnant! wahoo! i know for sure now! so no little dante on the way haha