depression sucks!
ok so i just dont know what to do any more.... today i feel like everything i do is going to be wrong and that i should just stop doing everything cuz no matter what i do some how it will be wrong! maybe i'm just overreacting idk but i hate feeling like this. even some of my friends have started making me feel not good enough. i know i'm controlling and bitchy sometimes but telling me that is really not going to help or telling me how wrong i am when i do something. i really hate it when people tell me all the things about me that they dont like; no offense but i dont want to hear it! i know i'm not perfect. i know im controlling, obsessive, clingy, and bitchy; i know that so you really dont need to tell me. to be perfectly honest... i really dont care if you do what i do. i enjoy being by myself sometimes and doing my own thing. i know i act like i need people with me at all times but in reality i dont. i dont need chaperones any more i promise. i'm just so sick of ppl pickin me apart or yelling. i hate yelling! i dont care about pathetic things like whether or not you follow my every mood or do exactly as i say. none of that matters to me! what matters to me is other people... i hate fighting with people so i try to avoid it at all costs. yes i know i bottle up my feelings and thats not good but there at times when i just dont want to talk things out and when i do, i usually just want to vent and i dont want you to take their side or also start picking me apart. usually if i hear myself just say it i will be able to clear things out for myself. i will also come to you to talk to you about things if i want you to know. i dont want to always share my feelings with every single person. there are only a couple people that i dont mind forcing me to talk about things otherwise i just will act like everything is fine until i'm ready to say otherwise. and no offense to girls but you just arent as easy for me to talk to as guys. sorry but guys are just better at listening to and they give better hugs usually. its really nothing personal.
oh well i will be okay...