NCIS fanfiction
Title: I MUST FIGHT THIS FIGHT ALONE
Author: ditte3
Rating: G
Genre: General/Romance
Pairing: hints of Michael/Ziva,Tiva and Zibbs
Summary: Ziva's thoughts on the way to the airport of Tel_Aviv. It was said in episode Aliyah that she must finish what Michael started. It must be something dangerous which she doesn't want her NCIS team members to be involved in.
Spoilers: Aliyah
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Ziva's POV:
I never thought it would hurt so much...to secede from them. I must do my duty. I must finish what Michael started. My homeland, Israel, you will always be my home, but a piece of my heart will always be with these people.
I tossed and turned in my bed awake whole night. Now emotions are swirling in my head: mourn, anger, loneliness, tears, worry, love.
Was it love that I felt for Michael? I don't know it mighself. Maybe it was not the big love, but there must be a little happyness for me too. At least I thought so. But now he's dead. Because of Tony...
I struggle inside with anger and friendship...and love(?) Once I had feelings for Tony. Love, some kind of love. So many things have happened...
We are not soulmates, but partners who fight for one another and beside each other along with our other team mates. Four years of common work forges people together and I want to understand why Tony did what he did. I know he wanted to protect me, but he didn't trust me. It hurts!
Still however hard it is I have to step further, I have to forgive him. I cannot let anger and unforgiveness put a burden on me...I must continue Michael's work...I tremble, although I'm not easily frightened.
I'm a fighter!
I worry and fear for my team. For four years I've been working with my ...friends, yes friends, not merely colleagues and team mates.They have become my family even more than my real still living relatives...
The road ahead of me is hard. I may even die. If they'd know what I'm up to they would fight along with me.
I can't put their life in danger.
I have to fight this fight myself.
Gibbs...oh...Jethro. We unerstand each other from half words. We have an invisible bond between us.
The bond of trust and appreciation and maybe another strong emotion which I haven't even cleared up in myself yet.
He'd never leave me behind. Never.
I have to face the battle ahead of me alone...therefore I must break myself away from them...however hard it is.