(no subject)
Hey all
Not a whole lot new here....school is boring as always....same ol' same ol'.....
Bj got the flowers i sent him through the school today...that was fun. And we got 2 fish and a snail today. The fishies names are James and Jayne (Middle names :) We havent named the snail yet. Any ideas?
i dont know why but i feel like rambling about life. Why does everything good seem to come so slowly? I know i have it good right now...relationship wise, but like its all the same. Go to school, come home, eat, see Bj(which is always great...not complaining), Bj leaves (always sucks!), go to bed, wake up...repeat cycle. Minus weekends they either consist of shows or hanging out with Bj (again...always great) But i dunno....it just seems slow. I want the next year and a half to be over with. So i can start a life outside of this house...i want to be able to feel free to do whatever i want whenever i want... I heard this song on the radio today in class...its a song i heard before, but hearing it today gave it a whole new meaning. I'm not sure what its called...prolly something like I fell in love with the 8th world wonder or something like that (its country i didnt pick the station) but after the song was over the guy said that that singer wrote the song about her highschool sweetheart...and they ended up getting married. And i just thought wow thats a great song, and im so glad because i know thats whats happening with me. I will marry my highschool sweetheart. I just cant wait for that... i think life will be so much better than now in the future. And knowing that helps...but that longing for the future to come now is harsh! Stuck in this school...where i am devoid of my love and my best friends, its ghetto, and then like i know i cant go back to memphis because i would have to take other classes that i would have taken this year....i dont feel like going through that, so i guess its my fault. I am seriously the biggest over analyzer/worry wort, you will ever meet. Like today/this morning, i was thinking when i was on the phone with Bj...i was like....OH! i have to go to school today..ugh! then i will get home and Bj will have to go to work and then i will be alone again and then he will get home...and im not gunna see him tomorrow because of the band (dont get me wrong i think they are all great), but like i know he needs to do that, and like hes working all week...i dunno i just get myself feeling sick/upset....its silly and i know that but i just cant bring myself to stop...its horrible. Im gunna like kill myself from worrying to much. its nuts. And i know it will all be fine...but that damn feeling never goes away...it saddens me. And i just made myself all dumb again and worrying....oi! im gunna go now...i need to focus on something....im gunna do some hardcore drawing and listen to my music really really loud....
ciao all