can't fight the moonlight
so i had a good convo with sam the other day and she put me into some perspective about how i am and how really unhealthy i am....
yea... i've never really tooken the time to actually 'think' about the way i do things and why i do them.... so yea...i don't think i am ever going to fully understand myself.. but that is just nuts that i am sooo screwd... i can't fight the person i am.. no i can't ... but ... i can't ...
sam says that i am the 'best' when i'm in love.. i don't like to be alone.. i prefer to be in crowds.. true true true.. but i hate crowd hopping.. it's like i'm not really apart of anyone.. really.. i just go wherever i feel of the moment.. yknow.. i don't mean to be so unpredictable.. i think i'm witnessing a sharp turning point...everything is sooooooo different now.. and loving change... is one thing.. but going through change so consistentely that i have no place to sit is like i am forever in motion... barely ever having time to sit and smell the roses.. kinda idea... so i have gone out and 'found' myself for sure.. but it's just like nothing is good enough anymore.. and nothing. is really good enough.. in terms of me and my actions...
i'm majorly pathetic... or majorly growing up... things change... yea! change is awesome.. but change isn't good if you're not changing for what you want.
im sort of in shock of myself.. aren't i supposed to be 16? so why am i cleaning the house on my weekends and doing that kind of stuff?? Why am I ... where are my choices? What is the deal with the saying... 'you make it' Where is the nite life? I don't know and i'm sorry for myself.. that i can't make this happy.. a strange word.... i can't fight the moonlight.. 'fate vs. time will tell'
yea... i've never really tooken the time to actually 'think' about the way i do things and why i do them.... so yea...i don't think i am ever going to fully understand myself.. but that is just nuts that i am sooo screwd... i can't fight the person i am.. no i can't ... but ... i can't ...
sam says that i am the 'best' when i'm in love.. i don't like to be alone.. i prefer to be in crowds.. true true true.. but i hate crowd hopping.. it's like i'm not really apart of anyone.. really.. i just go wherever i feel of the moment.. yknow.. i don't mean to be so unpredictable.. i think i'm witnessing a sharp turning point...everything is sooooooo different now.. and loving change... is one thing.. but going through change so consistentely that i have no place to sit is like i am forever in motion... barely ever having time to sit and smell the roses.. kinda idea... so i have gone out and 'found' myself for sure.. but it's just like nothing is good enough anymore.. and nothing. is really good enough.. in terms of me and my actions...
i'm majorly pathetic... or majorly growing up... things change... yea! change is awesome.. but change isn't good if you're not changing for what you want.
im sort of in shock of myself.. aren't i supposed to be 16? so why am i cleaning the house on my weekends and doing that kind of stuff?? Why am I ... where are my choices? What is the deal with the saying... 'you make it' Where is the nite life? I don't know and i'm sorry for myself.. that i can't make this happy.. a strange word.... i can't fight the moonlight.. 'fate vs. time will tell'