again I suck.
So. I haven't written in a long time. But then again, I never keep up. so .things are working out okie. I reached a real low. Like..wanting to slit my wrists in the bath tub low. it was bad For me, for gil, and for every one who cared about me I am glad to say that while I was down so low, that some very important people helped me. Brian while drives me nuts, expressed his real concern. I told people, becuase I didnt want to die. But I was considering it as an option, to escape my depression. Any how, Brian helped me. He watched over me, and let me know that it was unexceptable, and he didn't want to lose me. I am so greatful that he had not only helped me, but instead of distancing himself from me, which I was terrified of, he let me see how much he was hurting. while it sucked he was hurting, it was great steps in our general relationship. I actualy felt as though he needed me in a emotionaly supportive way
and there was april, who always lent her ear to me. she let me rant, and rave and when I told her what was going on with me, and my issues, she didn't avoid me, as even I might have done, she also let me know it was unexceptable. That she cared enough not to want to lose me, and she also yelled at brian for makin me crazy. Its great to know that people can be supportive and care about me, in my dark moments.
So in this state I knew I needed help. So with brians insistance, I made an appointment with a doc. Which I missed once, and then I rescheduled. I made brian take me, so I didn't avoid it. And of course, as per usual I was told I am bipolar, even though I hate to think so. So I got put on meds.
Ah. I feel better now.
Well, before that, I had gotten hired at bright house, like a month before brian's dad. maybe more then a month. Its great, being tec support. any how, I got a promotion after being there for only 3 months. You aren't supposed to move up until six months. Great right? My phone stats are good enough.
So ..brian got some of the money from his dads stuff, and we handled alot of stuff we handled bills, set up a new apartment. Bought a bunch of great stuff Including a second car. We came to an agreement about brian working in a club again. So he has a job, an I have. ..Dun dun dun Free time. Awesome right?
Futher more we hve come to an agreement on another girl to play with, even better, I would bet Someone I have known for a long time, and played with before, only ..in a non sub dom manner. Its super exciting. And while I have some issues, they are minor. I think that she wouldn't do anything to upset me, just as I do not feel threatened. so go us.
Yeah, things have gotten better. But ..its always a rollercoaster, and I am expecting ot fall off at any moment, but at least I am perpared? Or thinking about it ahead of time.
any how. that my story. For now. I am probably going to bed.
and there was april, who always lent her ear to me. she let me rant, and rave and when I told her what was going on with me, and my issues, she didn't avoid me, as even I might have done, she also let me know it was unexceptable. That she cared enough not to want to lose me, and she also yelled at brian for makin me crazy. Its great to know that people can be supportive and care about me, in my dark moments.
So in this state I knew I needed help. So with brians insistance, I made an appointment with a doc. Which I missed once, and then I rescheduled. I made brian take me, so I didn't avoid it. And of course, as per usual I was told I am bipolar, even though I hate to think so. So I got put on meds.
Ah. I feel better now.
Well, before that, I had gotten hired at bright house, like a month before brian's dad. maybe more then a month. Its great, being tec support. any how, I got a promotion after being there for only 3 months. You aren't supposed to move up until six months. Great right? My phone stats are good enough.
So ..brian got some of the money from his dads stuff, and we handled alot of stuff we handled bills, set up a new apartment. Bought a bunch of great stuff Including a second car. We came to an agreement about brian working in a club again. So he has a job, an I have. ..Dun dun dun Free time. Awesome right?
Futher more we hve come to an agreement on another girl to play with, even better, I would bet Someone I have known for a long time, and played with before, only ..in a non sub dom manner. Its super exciting. And while I have some issues, they are minor. I think that she wouldn't do anything to upset me, just as I do not feel threatened. so go us.
Yeah, things have gotten better. But ..its always a rollercoaster, and I am expecting ot fall off at any moment, but at least I am perpared? Or thinking about it ahead of time.
any how. that my story. For now. I am probably going to bed.