"Happiness is not a fish you can catch" OLP

[disturbedkity13]

So why is it that when things are going good they are great but then when one thing goes wrong everything just tumbles down after? Life has been AWESOME for the past couple of months. Now.... everything is coming to an end and I feel as if im dieing... litterally..... I dont know if its just because im so extremely depressed or if its because everything really is going that bad. I think about dieing (not of "natural causes") a lot and so many times before and recently ive thought about just getting it over with.... No one loves me... my friends say they do but I just have a hard time believing it. Who would want to love me? I dont deserve the love that I've longed for my whole life. Yes my parents hugged me as a baby... when I was born.. but as soon as my sisters were born they forgot all about me. I've always been the one to give up everything so others could get what they wanted. (others meaning my sisters) *fucking bitches*

I'm so tired of fighting. I feel like i have to fight for attention and thats not how I want to be. I want to be loved... is it too much to ask for that one simple thing??? My mom and sisters always have guys flocking all over them dieing to buy them things and pay attention to them... then theres me... the one who is always left in the dark... the one who hides in the shadows so I dont get picked on... or laughed at..... when is it my turn.. they say that good things happen to those who are patient and kind... well God Dammit I'm fucking nice and ive been patient long enough...........

People say "love life" I say..... "Fuck life"