my life is going nowhere
everything i had im slowely losing again.i lost someone that meant so much to me and now i have to accept the fact that she never wants me back.but thats not the only thing i feel ive lost.lately ive been realizing all the opptunities ive lost or wasted.so many good realationships that could of been great but i screwed up,so many times ive screwed up with my friends and so many arguements that ive had over stupid things,school in general ive screwed up for good and now i cant graduate.ive been looking back on all my lifes mistakes and im finally realizing how much of a screw up i really am.steph i can now understand why you would want to stop liking me.why would you want to care about a total loser.and to all my friends how can you put up with all the shit i give you im surprised that you do put up with me.kathy mae i screwed upwith you to we could have been a great couple if i hadnt been such a jackass.and to brooke all the times ive hurt you about everything im cant believe your still my friend.and to joey most of all,ive stolen from you,cursed you out,just in plain treated you bad and yet you still stay by my side.i just dont understand it anymore.i dont understand anything anymore.all i do know is that im no good to anyone anymore.ive screwed up for the last time and i wont bother yopu anymore.and to everyone else i havent written about im sorry for all the things ive done to you all too.i wont bother anyone anymore.hospitals cant help me anymore and neither can anyone else.im crying as i write this as i realize just how much of a loser and a screw up i really am.i dont know what im going to do but i have a feeling it wont end up good.i love all my friends and that is why i wrote this.to let you know how i truely feel.goodbye to all and im so sorry.