[ Log ] We come crashing down...
Characters: Temari, Sakon
Date: Monday, May 26, 2008
Location: The apartment
Rating: R
Warnings/Notes: Strong language, mild violence
Summary: The night prior, Temari snaps and regresses into a long-repressed, much more violent version of herself, only to be brought to her senses barely a day later by her loving husband. She gets the chance to tell him some things she's needed to get off her chest.
It didn't really strike Temari that she was acting peculiar. It seemed more like putting on an old pair of shoes...a very, very old pair. One could only take so much stress before snapping, after all, and that's just what she'd done. She hadn't tended to the kids in nearly a day, time-wise at least, so whether or not they were getting taken care of...she didn't know, and she didn't care. Not this Temari. She was too busy thinking that she should have gotten rid of them when she had the chance. Doing it now would just be too bloody, and there would be bodies to dispose of, however small. That wouldn't do at all.
She hated them.
She hated her so-called husband.
And she loathed that god damned brother in law of hers.
In a very short time, she had taken to pacing back and forth through the kitchen, barking out the occasional shut the hell up when the spawn started fussing again. She didn't want to deal with them. She didn't want to deal with this.
Her thoughts were a jumbled mess, and any sense of responsibility or duty was thrown to the wind. This was just how Temari broke down, reverting back to an old self, from when her father was still around...violent, confused. Scared deep down, of course, but that wouldn't surface just yet. (When it did, she might snap out of it, but until then...) Of course she wouldn't be pissed if her family weren't about to be torn apart. She wasn't going to stand for it again. Either she would have her family and have it together, or she would eliminate it. She wasn't playing the separation game. Not again.
Sakon rolled his eyes from the nursery where he sat in a chair, reading. Kohaku whined and Temari yelled. He had really had enough of this bull crap, to be quite honest. Though on his end, he wasn't in favor of getting rid of the children. Rather, he'd prefer to throw Temari out onto the balcony until she calmed down. With a turn of the page of his book, he got up and closed the tome without any interest in it. Tossing it onto the chair, he quieted Kohaku and then left the room.
"Can you fucking yell any friggen louder, bitch?" he asked rudely as he went to the fridge. Maybe he could freeze her.
"I have seriously never heard you whine so fucking much ever." Sakon finished, pulling out a can of soda from the cold box against the wall. A piece of the man really was worried about her, the empty pack of cigarettes proof of the fact. He had absolutely no idea what was wrong with her, no idea what made her so angry all of the sudden.
"You got something useful to say, bastard? No? Then fuck off."
In fact, Temari wasn't in the mood for any games. And even if he'd asked, she wouldn't have been able to answer. In the throes of a mental breakdown, she was hardly thinking rationally, and still thought nothing was wrong with her. As far as she was concerned, she felt sick, she felt angry-- no, she felt pissed-- and she felt like stabbing something. The knife block was right there on the counter, after all, and she eyed it with interest, wondering what she could run the biggest one through.
She'd never do it. She'd thought on it tons of times before, when she was younger, about doing her father in herself, when he pissed her off. When she got pissed off just like this. But oh how she loved the thought of it. How it soothed her ever so slightly so that she didn't actually go through with it.
Sakon saw her eye the block. He recalled a memory of threatening her right there against the counter once. The man snarled and reached out for her after putting down the can. "Listen, Temari." Yes, he did remember her name and yes, he had just used it. He was about to make a point. Hopefully.
As his right hand grabbed the front of her shirt by the collar, the left grabbed at her hip and moved her back up against the bare kitchen table. "You've got some serious shit you fucking need to deal with." Snapped Sakon as his eyes looked at her with danger and fire within them, rage in his voice and upon his face. "And you need to deal with it now. Not tomorrow or in a few-fucking-days, but now. I'm sick of your newfound bullshit!"
His hands moved in a jerking motion, as if to force the words into Temari. "I can't fucking help you. Do you hear me?! I can't! Not unless you tell me what the hell is wrong!" Sakon was practically screaming, and yet his words came out in a vicious hiss as his eyes stared into hers. It was like he was looking inside of her soul to find the problem, because he didn't know what to do and was frightened more than he ever had been in his life. All he wanted was his wife back.
Temari very nearly spit in his face right then and there, but held it back. She wasn't scared, though, and she wasn't shaking. No, but her brows were furrowed and her expression was furious, because now the little monsters were wailing again but she had something right in front of her to deal with first. And she was scowling, something she had never shown him before, a nasty sort of look and if you could have held her next to Gaara, the resemblance might just have been frightening. That same sort of violent blood did run through her, too.
"You're what's wrong," she hissed, but as she did so, her grimace turned up into the most twisted grin. "You think this is all a game, a ruse, that someone's going to come out and tell you that it's all a big joke. You don't take this family seriously, you don't take me seriously, and you deserve none of it, you little bastard, none of it. Because you haven't worked a single day in the past year for it. You just wanted what you couldn't have and you got it, and so much more. Now you're here, and you got this free ride into normalcy, into a life you never could have had, only because I put up with you, and because you had your shithead brother to hold your hand,
"And him, I thought he was better than this, I thought he actually did deserve this family, so I kept quiet, and I let you force me into keeping those little monsters, and doing something stupid like settling down, but since he's so content to abandon us...what is this then, huh? This isn't a family, this is one hypocritical bastard who's only too sick when it's convenient, one fucker who thinks that he's going to keep getting away with shit, and two little rats that should have been killed seven months ago."
The amount of sheer hatred and malice that she was radiating might have been sweltering to anyone not used to it, to anyone who'd lived out their entire lives in Ceno. Temari really didn't care what effect it had on him, though. She was merely being honest, and her little rant did nothing to help her mood; if anything, it only worsened it. His face disgusted her, and she was still battling the urge to smack him or kick him or spit on him...anything to show her distaste physically.
Sakon looked down at her and shook his head with a sneering look of disgust on his face as well. He wasn't wrong. It wasn't like that. It wasn't! The blond man refused to believe this. Sure, maybe what some of Temari said about Ukon was true. The freeloading bastard. But what she said about him was a lie! Wasn't it?
Just as he was about to second guess himself, Sakon stopped and shook his head again. "You are so fucked," he whispered as his hands relaxed. "I can't believe you just said any of that shit." Swallowing, his arms fell to his side while his eyes roamed over her face. She was so angry and if he hadn't been stronger than that, he might have shed a tear. It drove a steak through his heart to see her so violent and enraged. Why? It didn't make any sense. Sakon tried to think of what happened recently that could tick her off, send her on this spiraling madness. Well, there was that letter. Maybe she replied but didn't really want to go through with it now? It was all the man could think of, having no idea about what she did with Ukon either.
"You don't want to kill them." Sakon whispered as his hands came up again. There was only one thing he could do to remedy this, and it was going to hurt him a lot more than her. "You're just angry. Royally pissed because of. . .whatever. It doesn't matter." Mentally he cringed, wanting to run away and just let her deal with it. But he couldn't. He had responsibilities too! Oh but this was going to suck a lot.
"I am pissed of because of what I just told you," Temari hissed again, keeping a watchful eye on what he was doing with those hands. She was at the ready if she needed to take action, despite how out of shape she was. Again the fault of those little screaming things in the nursery, which she really wished would shut up; it was giving her a migraine. "So what was it? Were you too stupid to understand, or are you just deaf?"
"We'll go with deaf," Sakon snapped as he quickly slipped his arms around her middle and pulled her close. His foot stepped back, taking them away from the table as his chin rest on the crook of her neck. After a moment, he tilted his head down and kissed her skin gently, right hand coming up behind her back and touch and stroke her hair. Sakon could think of worse things he could be doing, he supposed. It wasn't so terrible, and if it made Temari feel better he would survive. More or less he would survive anyway. He might not be able to live with her after this, if she was "fixed." Sakon feared she would never let him forget it, but desperate times called for even more desperate measures
At first, Temari's natural reaction was to struggle, giving one hard jerk and finding herself trapped. After a second, another one, with less force, and then another one with barely any force, until there was no more fight left in her, and she started to-- slowly-- soften, and she let her body relax in his arms. There was still an anger in the pit of her stomach, but something about it, the touch, the kiss, pacified her just enough, just enough that a shred of rational thought could take hold. And just as quickly as it had come, it was mostly gone, leaving angered thoughts and a stream of tears on her cheeks as she finally gave in and leaned into him.
She was still not happy, by any means. The same problems that had caused to her snap in the first place still existed. The things she'd said would need to be addressed. But now that her self defense mechanism had been breached...perhaps it would be possible to actually talk them out.
Sakon was glad, actually, that Temari relaxed into his hug. It was really the only idea he had at the moment and didn't want to come up with another one. Hand still running through her hair or over her back, his lips continued to leave kisses on her skin upon her neck. After a moment he touched at her jaw, then finally the corner of her lips. He wanted to speak, but again that fear of ruining something rose in his gut. What if he spoke and what had just happened, by miracle in his opinion, fell away? In resolve, Sakon would wait for Temari to talk first. She would be ready when she was ready, and so he just continued to leave kisses and hold her tenderly.
Temari would have liked to stay there in his arms for as long as she could. The affection was just too sweet for her tired mind; even her normal self would have been delighted. And for a while, she was okay to stay, her pulse pounding in her ears, drowning out everything else. But it didn't take long before another sound reached her ears: wailing.
"Shit."
The curse came only under her breath, and as much as she hated it, she had to wrench herself from his grip-- even stronger now, because back in some semblance of her right mind, no one got between her and her children-- making a beeline for the nursery, wiping her eyes and nose on her sleeve as she went. The trouble with twins came mostly when they both needed attention, and she could only tend to one. How did you choose? Generally, she had something to off of: which one had needed attention most recently? Then she'd go for the other, but now, she hadn't even looked at them in upwards of a good twenty hours. Her distress was evident as she wavered between the two cribs, and finally chose to take her son's side, if only because her daughter was more likely to have gotten attention. When she assessed the situation, she found that he was neither hungry nor in need of a changing, and carefully placed him on her shoulder, maneuvering out of the nursery carefully, regretfully leaving her little girl behind for a while. But she'd never get the one calmed with the other fussing up a storm. Rocking slightly, she rubbed his back as gently as she could, cooing soothing things-- mommy's here, mommy's sorry, oh god mommy's sorry sweetheart-- finding it harder than ever, especially with another child to tend to, hating to have to divide her attention.
Sakon had let Temari go, shook it off, and then went into the room. He walked in a slower pace, seeing his wife leave while he entered and looked down at Kaede. "Did our yelling scare you?" he asked quietly after looking over his shoulder to make sure no one was listening in. Picking up his daughter, he soothed her quietly in his arms. "The woman is just having a bad few days. Really bad days, but bad. She's better now. You can be quiet." And after a few moments more, she was.
Oh thank god. Temari had forgotten that their daughter was already daddy's girl, and was relieved to hear quiet from the other room. Their boy, on the other hand, while he had quieted a little, was still fussing. But it was soft enough that she could return him to the nursery, and soon enough he seemed to quiet down enough that Temari could place him back in his crib and be comfortable with leaving him there.
Turning away, she was facing her husband again, but she found it hard to look eye to eye, or directly at him at all.
"I take back what I said about the kids..." She paused, sighing before she continued the rest of the thought. "But nothing else."
"Fair enough," Sakon returned as he looked down on Temari from where he stood with Kaede still in his strong arms. He was still convinced Temari was wrong about him being wrong. Then again, it was his own fault she felt that way. He didn't communicate at all to let her know what he wanted, what he liked or didn't like, what he needed or anything of the like. Maybe one of these days he would. . .maybe.
Gently then, Sakon put Kaede back in her crib and stood in the doorway. Over his shoulder he asked Temari, "want to come sit?" and then left for the living room.
Nodding slightly, Temari gave her children one last look over, before following him into the living room, shutting the nursery door part way behind her, leaving it open just a crack. Taking a seat on the couch, she pulled her feet up, and thus her knees up to her chin.
She was unsure of what to say first, and might have been content to let him start any sort of conversation, but she knew that it wasn't likely. Still, sitting there in her little ball, she allowed a moment of silence, just in case he did have something to say for once.
Surprisingly, he did. Sakon leaned back into the seat and put his arms along the backing with a stretch. One foot came up to rest the sole on the table in front of him, the other remained on the floor. "I'msorry." He said quickly, looking at the kitchen with a glare as if it were about to attack him. Sakon was determined not to look at Temari during his confession.
Temari's natural reaction would have been to pull him close. Oh god how much easier that would have made it, to be able to touch him right now. But she'd pushed the boundaries. His words surprised her, because not only had she expected him to stay silent, but an apology...that was the last thing she expected out of him. And of all things she could think of to reply, there was one that predominant in her mind.
"Why?" She looked at him, confused as to what he could really be sorry for. Perhaps what she'd said? But she hadn't explained herself all that well. "I mean, I should be the sorry one..."
The man's pale gaze turned on her, then away in silence. "I don't need a reason," he told her stubbornly. He was just avoiding the question, but really this wasn't about him. This was about her, and so Sakon would wait. Knowing there was something inside that she probably wanted to say. He was just going to be as patient as he could, and that was all he would do. It was all he could do.
Temari sighed, and as if on cue, launched into a further explanation. "I meant what I said, but not how I said it. You that I l-- you know how I feel, I still stand by that but...you're a lucky man. I hope you know that. So far, everything's been handed to you. You have your brother to push you in the right direction, and you've somehow won my good graces to put up with all the rest."
Another, just as deep sigh. As if she couldn't get a good, comfortable breath. Her eyes flicked to the ceiling for a couple moments while she took some more deep breaths, looking as if deep in concentration. "And now he's staying behind, so who knows if I can handle you on my own, and for what? Some floozy? Because neither of you can tell me that he's too sick. That's only something you two use when it's convenient, as an escape, but never any other time. But not just that..."
Here she looked back to him, eyes taking on a tone of sadness and a few more unwanted tears welling up. "I've already had my family broken up once. I don't want it to happen again."
Sakon turned to face her finally, his whole body moving. Floozy? Clearly he didn't follow the conversations Ukon and Temari had with the rest of the world. Really the younger brother was just so clueless. He didn't know about Ino at all. "I thought the bastard was staying behind 'cause he wasn't feeling well," Sakon said honestly. Then he moved on. Terminal could wait.
"Nothing's going to happen." He stated firmly, nodding. And, seeing as he had already shared a cuddle moment today, he reached out and took one of her hands. "No one is breaking jack. Got that?"
Strangely, Temari was speechless, and looked just as much. If she was hearing right, he was both touching her willingly and saying something positive. Once she got past the initial shock, she used her free hand to wipe away the tentative tears, giving him the first confident smile she'd had in a while.
"Got it...and...I'm sorry too." She hoped she didn't have to explain what for. "I thought I was over that sort of thing. I snapped, I guess, and just...reverted back to my old self. I never wanted you to have to see that side of me...hopefully you never will again. After all, I'm not Cena trash like you, hmm?"
Her last statement, while a jab, was said more in jest than anything, and her smile deepened a little as she said it, the slightest of chuckles in the back of her throat.
"Ugh, shut up." Sakon said around an angry smirk. The hand that had touched hers covered her mouth in irritation. "I don't want to hear that shit. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. Cena? Ha." With a shake of his head he sat back and picked up a magazine. All was well in his world once more. For now.
"You know, it's supposed to be the prince rescuing the princess, not the other way around, but--ah!" Feigning surprise, as if she had just some to a very startling realization, she clapped a hand over her mouth, giving him a rather bewildered look. "What does that make us now? Does that make you the king, and me the queen?"
It was as if the prior moments had been brushed aside now and forgotten, but they were still lingering in the back of her mind. Maybe it would come back to haunt them later, maybe not, but she'd done enough to him already. Now she would go along with whatever his pace was...but that didn't stop her from making a few playful jabs. If anything, it served to help lighten the mood and bring everything back to the plateau of normalcy.
"Hell yeah." The blond man nodded as he read. "I rule this damn castle, bitch." Sakon chuckled lightly as he turned the page of the magazine, but he soon put it down on his lap. "You okay?" he asked, just to check. He didn't care, but as his eyes turned toward Temari he saw the pack of cigarettes he had smoked through and left empty on the table. Inwardly he hoped she didn't notice.
"Of course you do, dear."
Her tone was that of playful exasperation...and Temari did, of course, notice the emptied pack on the table, but she figured...it wasn't going to fair of her to hold it against him. As if she'd have done something more responsible in the given situation.
"I'm fine. It's you that I'm worried about," she replied earnestly, not showing that she was touched by his concern, remembering when he didn't give a damn about her. Perhaps soon they could take the training wheels off.
"I'm not the one that freaked out, so don't worry." Sakon stated as he got to his feet. The magazine was placed aside on the couch without a care as his hand swung out and picked up the pack quickly. Into the kitchen he went, tossing it in the trash. He'd have to get more tomorrow, figuring it would be a long damn day.
Date: Monday, May 26, 2008
Location: The apartment
Rating: R
Warnings/Notes: Strong language, mild violence
Summary: The night prior, Temari snaps and regresses into a long-repressed, much more violent version of herself, only to be brought to her senses barely a day later by her loving husband. She gets the chance to tell him some things she's needed to get off her chest.
It didn't really strike Temari that she was acting peculiar. It seemed more like putting on an old pair of shoes...a very, very old pair. One could only take so much stress before snapping, after all, and that's just what she'd done. She hadn't tended to the kids in nearly a day, time-wise at least, so whether or not they were getting taken care of...she didn't know, and she didn't care. Not this Temari. She was too busy thinking that she should have gotten rid of them when she had the chance. Doing it now would just be too bloody, and there would be bodies to dispose of, however small. That wouldn't do at all.
She hated them.
She hated her so-called husband.
And she loathed that god damned brother in law of hers.
In a very short time, she had taken to pacing back and forth through the kitchen, barking out the occasional shut the hell up when the spawn started fussing again. She didn't want to deal with them. She didn't want to deal with this.
Her thoughts were a jumbled mess, and any sense of responsibility or duty was thrown to the wind. This was just how Temari broke down, reverting back to an old self, from when her father was still around...violent, confused. Scared deep down, of course, but that wouldn't surface just yet. (When it did, she might snap out of it, but until then...) Of course she wouldn't be pissed if her family weren't about to be torn apart. She wasn't going to stand for it again. Either she would have her family and have it together, or she would eliminate it. She wasn't playing the separation game. Not again.
Sakon rolled his eyes from the nursery where he sat in a chair, reading. Kohaku whined and Temari yelled. He had really had enough of this bull crap, to be quite honest. Though on his end, he wasn't in favor of getting rid of the children. Rather, he'd prefer to throw Temari out onto the balcony until she calmed down. With a turn of the page of his book, he got up and closed the tome without any interest in it. Tossing it onto the chair, he quieted Kohaku and then left the room.
"Can you fucking yell any friggen louder, bitch?" he asked rudely as he went to the fridge. Maybe he could freeze her.
"I have seriously never heard you whine so fucking much ever." Sakon finished, pulling out a can of soda from the cold box against the wall. A piece of the man really was worried about her, the empty pack of cigarettes proof of the fact. He had absolutely no idea what was wrong with her, no idea what made her so angry all of the sudden.
"You got something useful to say, bastard? No? Then fuck off."
In fact, Temari wasn't in the mood for any games. And even if he'd asked, she wouldn't have been able to answer. In the throes of a mental breakdown, she was hardly thinking rationally, and still thought nothing was wrong with her. As far as she was concerned, she felt sick, she felt angry-- no, she felt pissed-- and she felt like stabbing something. The knife block was right there on the counter, after all, and she eyed it with interest, wondering what she could run the biggest one through.
She'd never do it. She'd thought on it tons of times before, when she was younger, about doing her father in herself, when he pissed her off. When she got pissed off just like this. But oh how she loved the thought of it. How it soothed her ever so slightly so that she didn't actually go through with it.
Sakon saw her eye the block. He recalled a memory of threatening her right there against the counter once. The man snarled and reached out for her after putting down the can. "Listen, Temari." Yes, he did remember her name and yes, he had just used it. He was about to make a point. Hopefully.
As his right hand grabbed the front of her shirt by the collar, the left grabbed at her hip and moved her back up against the bare kitchen table. "You've got some serious shit you fucking need to deal with." Snapped Sakon as his eyes looked at her with danger and fire within them, rage in his voice and upon his face. "And you need to deal with it now. Not tomorrow or in a few-fucking-days, but now. I'm sick of your newfound bullshit!"
His hands moved in a jerking motion, as if to force the words into Temari. "I can't fucking help you. Do you hear me?! I can't! Not unless you tell me what the hell is wrong!" Sakon was practically screaming, and yet his words came out in a vicious hiss as his eyes stared into hers. It was like he was looking inside of her soul to find the problem, because he didn't know what to do and was frightened more than he ever had been in his life. All he wanted was his wife back.
Temari very nearly spit in his face right then and there, but held it back. She wasn't scared, though, and she wasn't shaking. No, but her brows were furrowed and her expression was furious, because now the little monsters were wailing again but she had something right in front of her to deal with first. And she was scowling, something she had never shown him before, a nasty sort of look and if you could have held her next to Gaara, the resemblance might just have been frightening. That same sort of violent blood did run through her, too.
"You're what's wrong," she hissed, but as she did so, her grimace turned up into the most twisted grin. "You think this is all a game, a ruse, that someone's going to come out and tell you that it's all a big joke. You don't take this family seriously, you don't take me seriously, and you deserve none of it, you little bastard, none of it. Because you haven't worked a single day in the past year for it. You just wanted what you couldn't have and you got it, and so much more. Now you're here, and you got this free ride into normalcy, into a life you never could have had, only because I put up with you, and because you had your shithead brother to hold your hand,
"And him, I thought he was better than this, I thought he actually did deserve this family, so I kept quiet, and I let you force me into keeping those little monsters, and doing something stupid like settling down, but since he's so content to abandon us...what is this then, huh? This isn't a family, this is one hypocritical bastard who's only too sick when it's convenient, one fucker who thinks that he's going to keep getting away with shit, and two little rats that should have been killed seven months ago."
The amount of sheer hatred and malice that she was radiating might have been sweltering to anyone not used to it, to anyone who'd lived out their entire lives in Ceno. Temari really didn't care what effect it had on him, though. She was merely being honest, and her little rant did nothing to help her mood; if anything, it only worsened it. His face disgusted her, and she was still battling the urge to smack him or kick him or spit on him...anything to show her distaste physically.
Sakon looked down at her and shook his head with a sneering look of disgust on his face as well. He wasn't wrong. It wasn't like that. It wasn't! The blond man refused to believe this. Sure, maybe what some of Temari said about Ukon was true. The freeloading bastard. But what she said about him was a lie! Wasn't it?
Just as he was about to second guess himself, Sakon stopped and shook his head again. "You are so fucked," he whispered as his hands relaxed. "I can't believe you just said any of that shit." Swallowing, his arms fell to his side while his eyes roamed over her face. She was so angry and if he hadn't been stronger than that, he might have shed a tear. It drove a steak through his heart to see her so violent and enraged. Why? It didn't make any sense. Sakon tried to think of what happened recently that could tick her off, send her on this spiraling madness. Well, there was that letter. Maybe she replied but didn't really want to go through with it now? It was all the man could think of, having no idea about what she did with Ukon either.
"You don't want to kill them." Sakon whispered as his hands came up again. There was only one thing he could do to remedy this, and it was going to hurt him a lot more than her. "You're just angry. Royally pissed because of. . .whatever. It doesn't matter." Mentally he cringed, wanting to run away and just let her deal with it. But he couldn't. He had responsibilities too! Oh but this was going to suck a lot.
"I am pissed of because of what I just told you," Temari hissed again, keeping a watchful eye on what he was doing with those hands. She was at the ready if she needed to take action, despite how out of shape she was. Again the fault of those little screaming things in the nursery, which she really wished would shut up; it was giving her a migraine. "So what was it? Were you too stupid to understand, or are you just deaf?"
"We'll go with deaf," Sakon snapped as he quickly slipped his arms around her middle and pulled her close. His foot stepped back, taking them away from the table as his chin rest on the crook of her neck. After a moment, he tilted his head down and kissed her skin gently, right hand coming up behind her back and touch and stroke her hair. Sakon could think of worse things he could be doing, he supposed. It wasn't so terrible, and if it made Temari feel better he would survive. More or less he would survive anyway. He might not be able to live with her after this, if she was "fixed." Sakon feared she would never let him forget it, but desperate times called for even more desperate measures
At first, Temari's natural reaction was to struggle, giving one hard jerk and finding herself trapped. After a second, another one, with less force, and then another one with barely any force, until there was no more fight left in her, and she started to-- slowly-- soften, and she let her body relax in his arms. There was still an anger in the pit of her stomach, but something about it, the touch, the kiss, pacified her just enough, just enough that a shred of rational thought could take hold. And just as quickly as it had come, it was mostly gone, leaving angered thoughts and a stream of tears on her cheeks as she finally gave in and leaned into him.
She was still not happy, by any means. The same problems that had caused to her snap in the first place still existed. The things she'd said would need to be addressed. But now that her self defense mechanism had been breached...perhaps it would be possible to actually talk them out.
Sakon was glad, actually, that Temari relaxed into his hug. It was really the only idea he had at the moment and didn't want to come up with another one. Hand still running through her hair or over her back, his lips continued to leave kisses on her skin upon her neck. After a moment he touched at her jaw, then finally the corner of her lips. He wanted to speak, but again that fear of ruining something rose in his gut. What if he spoke and what had just happened, by miracle in his opinion, fell away? In resolve, Sakon would wait for Temari to talk first. She would be ready when she was ready, and so he just continued to leave kisses and hold her tenderly.
Temari would have liked to stay there in his arms for as long as she could. The affection was just too sweet for her tired mind; even her normal self would have been delighted. And for a while, she was okay to stay, her pulse pounding in her ears, drowning out everything else. But it didn't take long before another sound reached her ears: wailing.
"Shit."
The curse came only under her breath, and as much as she hated it, she had to wrench herself from his grip-- even stronger now, because back in some semblance of her right mind, no one got between her and her children-- making a beeline for the nursery, wiping her eyes and nose on her sleeve as she went. The trouble with twins came mostly when they both needed attention, and she could only tend to one. How did you choose? Generally, she had something to off of: which one had needed attention most recently? Then she'd go for the other, but now, she hadn't even looked at them in upwards of a good twenty hours. Her distress was evident as she wavered between the two cribs, and finally chose to take her son's side, if only because her daughter was more likely to have gotten attention. When she assessed the situation, she found that he was neither hungry nor in need of a changing, and carefully placed him on her shoulder, maneuvering out of the nursery carefully, regretfully leaving her little girl behind for a while. But she'd never get the one calmed with the other fussing up a storm. Rocking slightly, she rubbed his back as gently as she could, cooing soothing things-- mommy's here, mommy's sorry, oh god mommy's sorry sweetheart-- finding it harder than ever, especially with another child to tend to, hating to have to divide her attention.
Sakon had let Temari go, shook it off, and then went into the room. He walked in a slower pace, seeing his wife leave while he entered and looked down at Kaede. "Did our yelling scare you?" he asked quietly after looking over his shoulder to make sure no one was listening in. Picking up his daughter, he soothed her quietly in his arms. "The woman is just having a bad few days. Really bad days, but bad. She's better now. You can be quiet." And after a few moments more, she was.
Oh thank god. Temari had forgotten that their daughter was already daddy's girl, and was relieved to hear quiet from the other room. Their boy, on the other hand, while he had quieted a little, was still fussing. But it was soft enough that she could return him to the nursery, and soon enough he seemed to quiet down enough that Temari could place him back in his crib and be comfortable with leaving him there.
Turning away, she was facing her husband again, but she found it hard to look eye to eye, or directly at him at all.
"I take back what I said about the kids..." She paused, sighing before she continued the rest of the thought. "But nothing else."
"Fair enough," Sakon returned as he looked down on Temari from where he stood with Kaede still in his strong arms. He was still convinced Temari was wrong about him being wrong. Then again, it was his own fault she felt that way. He didn't communicate at all to let her know what he wanted, what he liked or didn't like, what he needed or anything of the like. Maybe one of these days he would. . .maybe.
Gently then, Sakon put Kaede back in her crib and stood in the doorway. Over his shoulder he asked Temari, "want to come sit?" and then left for the living room.
Nodding slightly, Temari gave her children one last look over, before following him into the living room, shutting the nursery door part way behind her, leaving it open just a crack. Taking a seat on the couch, she pulled her feet up, and thus her knees up to her chin.
She was unsure of what to say first, and might have been content to let him start any sort of conversation, but she knew that it wasn't likely. Still, sitting there in her little ball, she allowed a moment of silence, just in case he did have something to say for once.
Surprisingly, he did. Sakon leaned back into the seat and put his arms along the backing with a stretch. One foot came up to rest the sole on the table in front of him, the other remained on the floor. "I'msorry." He said quickly, looking at the kitchen with a glare as if it were about to attack him. Sakon was determined not to look at Temari during his confession.
Temari's natural reaction would have been to pull him close. Oh god how much easier that would have made it, to be able to touch him right now. But she'd pushed the boundaries. His words surprised her, because not only had she expected him to stay silent, but an apology...that was the last thing she expected out of him. And of all things she could think of to reply, there was one that predominant in her mind.
"Why?" She looked at him, confused as to what he could really be sorry for. Perhaps what she'd said? But she hadn't explained herself all that well. "I mean, I should be the sorry one..."
The man's pale gaze turned on her, then away in silence. "I don't need a reason," he told her stubbornly. He was just avoiding the question, but really this wasn't about him. This was about her, and so Sakon would wait. Knowing there was something inside that she probably wanted to say. He was just going to be as patient as he could, and that was all he would do. It was all he could do.
Temari sighed, and as if on cue, launched into a further explanation. "I meant what I said, but not how I said it. You that I l-- you know how I feel, I still stand by that but...you're a lucky man. I hope you know that. So far, everything's been handed to you. You have your brother to push you in the right direction, and you've somehow won my good graces to put up with all the rest."
Another, just as deep sigh. As if she couldn't get a good, comfortable breath. Her eyes flicked to the ceiling for a couple moments while she took some more deep breaths, looking as if deep in concentration. "And now he's staying behind, so who knows if I can handle you on my own, and for what? Some floozy? Because neither of you can tell me that he's too sick. That's only something you two use when it's convenient, as an escape, but never any other time. But not just that..."
Here she looked back to him, eyes taking on a tone of sadness and a few more unwanted tears welling up. "I've already had my family broken up once. I don't want it to happen again."
Sakon turned to face her finally, his whole body moving. Floozy? Clearly he didn't follow the conversations Ukon and Temari had with the rest of the world. Really the younger brother was just so clueless. He didn't know about Ino at all. "I thought the bastard was staying behind 'cause he wasn't feeling well," Sakon said honestly. Then he moved on. Terminal could wait.
"Nothing's going to happen." He stated firmly, nodding. And, seeing as he had already shared a cuddle moment today, he reached out and took one of her hands. "No one is breaking jack. Got that?"
Strangely, Temari was speechless, and looked just as much. If she was hearing right, he was both touching her willingly and saying something positive. Once she got past the initial shock, she used her free hand to wipe away the tentative tears, giving him the first confident smile she'd had in a while.
"Got it...and...I'm sorry too." She hoped she didn't have to explain what for. "I thought I was over that sort of thing. I snapped, I guess, and just...reverted back to my old self. I never wanted you to have to see that side of me...hopefully you never will again. After all, I'm not Cena trash like you, hmm?"
Her last statement, while a jab, was said more in jest than anything, and her smile deepened a little as she said it, the slightest of chuckles in the back of her throat.
"Ugh, shut up." Sakon said around an angry smirk. The hand that had touched hers covered her mouth in irritation. "I don't want to hear that shit. I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. Cena? Ha." With a shake of his head he sat back and picked up a magazine. All was well in his world once more. For now.
"You know, it's supposed to be the prince rescuing the princess, not the other way around, but--ah!" Feigning surprise, as if she had just some to a very startling realization, she clapped a hand over her mouth, giving him a rather bewildered look. "What does that make us now? Does that make you the king, and me the queen?"
It was as if the prior moments had been brushed aside now and forgotten, but they were still lingering in the back of her mind. Maybe it would come back to haunt them later, maybe not, but she'd done enough to him already. Now she would go along with whatever his pace was...but that didn't stop her from making a few playful jabs. If anything, it served to help lighten the mood and bring everything back to the plateau of normalcy.
"Hell yeah." The blond man nodded as he read. "I rule this damn castle, bitch." Sakon chuckled lightly as he turned the page of the magazine, but he soon put it down on his lap. "You okay?" he asked, just to check. He didn't care, but as his eyes turned toward Temari he saw the pack of cigarettes he had smoked through and left empty on the table. Inwardly he hoped she didn't notice.
"Of course you do, dear."
Her tone was that of playful exasperation...and Temari did, of course, notice the emptied pack on the table, but she figured...it wasn't going to fair of her to hold it against him. As if she'd have done something more responsible in the given situation.
"I'm fine. It's you that I'm worried about," she replied earnestly, not showing that she was touched by his concern, remembering when he didn't give a damn about her. Perhaps soon they could take the training wheels off.
"I'm not the one that freaked out, so don't worry." Sakon stated as he got to his feet. The magazine was placed aside on the couch without a care as his hand swung out and picked up the pack quickly. Into the kitchen he went, tossing it in the trash. He'd have to get more tomorrow, figuring it would be a long damn day.