(no subject)
Amazing how though my life is not at all what I predicted it to be, many of the best parts of the past linger. I can't even begin to describe what a comfort it is to know that when life gets too weird or rough, all I have to do is pick up the phone and have four sets of ears from my past there to listen. Amanda is still a part of me. Megan and I have only gotten closer. And Ben and John are still like brothers to me. John listens so well, and Ben always knows how to cheer me up by saying words I didn't even realize I needed to hear. I called him and spilled my guts without really meaning to, and he made me feel better with simple, clean advice and actually letting me in on his juicy secrets for once. He's one of the only people I know who won't judge me on things like this. He is seriously one of the best guys I know, and I don't know what I'd do without him.
Things are rough, I guess. I have my first round of exams starting next week, and I'm already having those good old math nightmares from high school. As for anthropology, I can't imagine what he's going to test us on, since his lectures have been so scattered. I'm lucky that the bosses closed the store for the week, so I have extra time to fix up the new house and pack up our old place, but it's stressful. I appreciate my parents and Granma helping, but I feel guilty--repairs are expensive and time-consuming. I'd probably be dealing with all this a lot better if I wasn't a mass of hormones right now, but as it is, I'm stuck with cramps, nausea, and have apparently been possessed by a really bitter bitch. If Devin's anything less than a total sweetheart, I snap. Literally. He came home today and said "Our neighbors are using the internet so it must be back up--oh, you're already on it!" and I shrieked, "IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE A JERK JUST LEAVE OKAY I'VE HAD A LONG DAY AND I'M NOT GOING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR JERKINESS YOU JERK." Yeah. I'm surprised he stuck around long enough to wait for my teary apology, and help me pack up the dishes.
I don't know what's up with us. He admitted to treating me like shit for awhile there, basically being a juvenile spoiled asshole, and for some reason now that he's actually bettering himself and treating me right, I'm picking fights and refusing to be patient. I don't know what to do. This past month was awful, and now that he's being wonderful again, I turn into a bitch? I'm hoping things work themselves out after I'm done being hormonal. I can't pinpoint what's wrong here, but I feel like things are getting better from his end and worse from mine.
Anyway, hopefully within a week we'll be all moved into our new place. We've got the painting mostly done (almond neutral, dark ocean blue on one wall in the living room, one smoky blue wall in the bedroom), have fixed the loose tiles, lined the shelves, and cleaned everything but the bathroom. My dad and Devin are building a bed with drawers and shelves, and I'm excited to see it. Cleaning the old place will be a nightmare, but I'm not going to think about it until we're packed. I'll just keep envisioning our future cozy bedroom and living room, and how awesome it'll feel to have a washer and dryer right there, ready to be used at any time.
Love to all. Sorry for the bummed and bratty entry, but I feel a little better now that it's out of me.
Things are rough, I guess. I have my first round of exams starting next week, and I'm already having those good old math nightmares from high school. As for anthropology, I can't imagine what he's going to test us on, since his lectures have been so scattered. I'm lucky that the bosses closed the store for the week, so I have extra time to fix up the new house and pack up our old place, but it's stressful. I appreciate my parents and Granma helping, but I feel guilty--repairs are expensive and time-consuming. I'd probably be dealing with all this a lot better if I wasn't a mass of hormones right now, but as it is, I'm stuck with cramps, nausea, and have apparently been possessed by a really bitter bitch. If Devin's anything less than a total sweetheart, I snap. Literally. He came home today and said "Our neighbors are using the internet so it must be back up--oh, you're already on it!" and I shrieked, "IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE A JERK JUST LEAVE OKAY I'VE HAD A LONG DAY AND I'M NOT GOING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR JERKINESS YOU JERK." Yeah. I'm surprised he stuck around long enough to wait for my teary apology, and help me pack up the dishes.
I don't know what's up with us. He admitted to treating me like shit for awhile there, basically being a juvenile spoiled asshole, and for some reason now that he's actually bettering himself and treating me right, I'm picking fights and refusing to be patient. I don't know what to do. This past month was awful, and now that he's being wonderful again, I turn into a bitch? I'm hoping things work themselves out after I'm done being hormonal. I can't pinpoint what's wrong here, but I feel like things are getting better from his end and worse from mine.
Anyway, hopefully within a week we'll be all moved into our new place. We've got the painting mostly done (almond neutral, dark ocean blue on one wall in the living room, one smoky blue wall in the bedroom), have fixed the loose tiles, lined the shelves, and cleaned everything but the bathroom. My dad and Devin are building a bed with drawers and shelves, and I'm excited to see it. Cleaning the old place will be a nightmare, but I'm not going to think about it until we're packed. I'll just keep envisioning our future cozy bedroom and living room, and how awesome it'll feel to have a washer and dryer right there, ready to be used at any time.
Love to all. Sorry for the bummed and bratty entry, but I feel a little better now that it's out of me.