THIS ENTRY IS PUBLIC (so are the notes..)
I was out of the System's grasp for about 5 months, it was a nice fucking run.
The last night I was in MERIDIAN TOWNSHIP OKEMOS MICHIGAN USA (The worst place in the entire world never ever go there unless you're Missy and you live there- everytime I visit or celebrate 4th of July I get in trouble...go to jail...and what not) I was feeling conflicted. I had been expecting to be able to keep this dog that my dad was sitting (long story)...my dream dog that we owned for two days til the last night when he got snatched back from me, so I was upset but also I was feeling happy and ready to get shit-faced because I'd never been of age to drink at a brewery before and AMR was playing at Kraftbrau in Kalamazoo. So I did.
I don't remember anything after AMR got done playing. Apparently we ended up back in Okemos outside of Missy's apt. complex and I was angry with Ryan for something. I hit him several times and fucked up his windshield on the left side. Her neighbors called the cops and although Ryan didn't was me arrested and isn't pressing charges, they took me to jail. I was there for 20 hours in a holding cell until my stepmom bonded me out. I'm not supposed to be in contact with Ryan, so if we get stopped I'm fucked all over again. I"m facing up to 3 months in jail and seemingly endless probation and court fines. I'm so unbelievably fucked. Now I admit that I have a problem with drinking too much. One of the conditions that Ryan stays with me is that I can't drink anymore. That is reasonable. I agree with that. Stil though...there goes fun. I don't usually get out of control like that. I can't believe that I'm capable of anything like this. I really frighten myself. I do not want to end up like my father and it seems that already I am him.
I'm feeling hopeless hopeless hopeless. I was supposed to be something great...I cannot let my mom find out about this.
I love all of you guys. Missy I'll see you soon. xo
The last night I was in MERIDIAN TOWNSHIP OKEMOS MICHIGAN USA (The worst place in the entire world never ever go there unless you're Missy and you live there- everytime I visit or celebrate 4th of July I get in trouble...go to jail...and what not) I was feeling conflicted. I had been expecting to be able to keep this dog that my dad was sitting (long story)...my dream dog that we owned for two days til the last night when he got snatched back from me, so I was upset but also I was feeling happy and ready to get shit-faced because I'd never been of age to drink at a brewery before and AMR was playing at Kraftbrau in Kalamazoo. So I did.
I don't remember anything after AMR got done playing. Apparently we ended up back in Okemos outside of Missy's apt. complex and I was angry with Ryan for something. I hit him several times and fucked up his windshield on the left side. Her neighbors called the cops and although Ryan didn't was me arrested and isn't pressing charges, they took me to jail. I was there for 20 hours in a holding cell until my stepmom bonded me out. I'm not supposed to be in contact with Ryan, so if we get stopped I'm fucked all over again. I"m facing up to 3 months in jail and seemingly endless probation and court fines. I'm so unbelievably fucked. Now I admit that I have a problem with drinking too much. One of the conditions that Ryan stays with me is that I can't drink anymore. That is reasonable. I agree with that. Stil though...there goes fun. I don't usually get out of control like that. I can't believe that I'm capable of anything like this. I really frighten myself. I do not want to end up like my father and it seems that already I am him.
I'm feeling hopeless hopeless hopeless. I was supposed to be something great...I cannot let my mom find out about this.
I love all of you guys. Missy I'll see you soon. xo