Too much
Too much to do, so I do nothing.
Too many thoughts, too much work,
too much to open up about... about things i'd rather not say at all.
There's always so much going on in my head, it makes me feel dizzy & sick. All the things I say aloud are just filler to keep jamming all the other shit the back of my mind. But it's never at the back of my mind. It fills up the majority of my day. Thinking about all the things I need to do, and work through.
Sometimes I think if I opened up more I wouldn't get walked all over so much. It's good to laugh painful things off, but I think do it too easily and it makes me vulnerable to more hurt in the future. I wonder if people view me as vulnerable and careless.
I usually put out such a happy and carefree image that friends and family get shocked when all the things I'm hiding suddenly surface, and I find myself in really bad state that can't be cover up with smiling & laughing any longer.
So much... and no motivation.
I need time.
No, I have time. I just do nothing with it.
Wallow. wallow. wallow.
Too many thoughts, too much work,
too much to open up about... about things i'd rather not say at all.
There's always so much going on in my head, it makes me feel dizzy & sick. All the things I say aloud are just filler to keep jamming all the other shit the back of my mind. But it's never at the back of my mind. It fills up the majority of my day. Thinking about all the things I need to do, and work through.
Sometimes I think if I opened up more I wouldn't get walked all over so much. It's good to laugh painful things off, but I think do it too easily and it makes me vulnerable to more hurt in the future. I wonder if people view me as vulnerable and careless.
I usually put out such a happy and carefree image that friends and family get shocked when all the things I'm hiding suddenly surface, and I find myself in really bad state that can't be cover up with smiling & laughing any longer.
So much... and no motivation.
I need time.
No, I have time. I just do nothing with it.
Wallow. wallow. wallow.