Nightmarish
Imagine a loft in the city with a view. The cool rain playing softly against the floor to ceiling windows that run adjacent to the entrance, letting in the cool blue-gray sky. The lights are low and warm, the sound of even warmer music to back it. Coffee is the perfume to this delicious scenery, making everything feel like dream. The city present but not opposing, all the business held back by a thick pane of glass and sound. The Living room blends into the kitchen, leading to hall which opens into the bedroom.
This is my serenity. The home I hope for.
I cant think of any good poetry as of late. I've continuously had this dream where I am a refugee in some obscure country, one night it was china, another it was somewhere in the middle east, but the situation is always the same. I am being pursued by some unknown assailants. Everyone is an enemy, all looking to consume me. Even my skin is against me, telling everyone that I am a stranger to this land, that I do not belong. i find one friend to help prolong the inevitable, but just as I seem to find a moment of peace, another comes along to continue the pursuit. I always wake in a panic, unsure of what has happened, and the next evening I am greeted with the same nightmare. I have even attempted to find a weapon in these dreams, tried escape by land or sea, never sure of how I ended up here but sure that I want out. Somehow I always end cornered hiding, my caper just on the other side of my cover.
I'm supposed to leave for basic training in the next couple of weeks, but I still feel so uncertain of my future. I sometimes feel like an alien to myself, with how drastically and quickly everything has changed. Nowhere I wanted to end up and feeling more a prisoner to my own life than the adventurer at the forefront of the excitement. I hope to come out of this soon. We will see I guess.
I cannot allow myself to be destroyed in all this, I have to breathe, think and move.
This is my serenity. The home I hope for.
I cant think of any good poetry as of late. I've continuously had this dream where I am a refugee in some obscure country, one night it was china, another it was somewhere in the middle east, but the situation is always the same. I am being pursued by some unknown assailants. Everyone is an enemy, all looking to consume me. Even my skin is against me, telling everyone that I am a stranger to this land, that I do not belong. i find one friend to help prolong the inevitable, but just as I seem to find a moment of peace, another comes along to continue the pursuit. I always wake in a panic, unsure of what has happened, and the next evening I am greeted with the same nightmare. I have even attempted to find a weapon in these dreams, tried escape by land or sea, never sure of how I ended up here but sure that I want out. Somehow I always end cornered hiding, my caper just on the other side of my cover.
I'm supposed to leave for basic training in the next couple of weeks, but I still feel so uncertain of my future. I sometimes feel like an alien to myself, with how drastically and quickly everything has changed. Nowhere I wanted to end up and feeling more a prisoner to my own life than the adventurer at the forefront of the excitement. I hope to come out of this soon. We will see I guess.
I cannot allow myself to be destroyed in all this, I have to breathe, think and move.